I hate my stepchild
So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3+ years. And he told me from the get go about his son who was currently 4 at the time. And at the time I was okay with him but as time progressed it changed. I recently just gave birth to our daughter 3 months ago. And that's when It got worse. He's currently 7 now and he's one of the worst kids that you'll ever meet. He reports and instigates everything and tells his gold digging mom. Who we recently found out that she's been using credit cards under my boyfriend name for years now.. But that's a whole another story. Well, my boyfriend picks him up every weekend and the weekend is the time when you relax but I absolutely dread the weekends because of him. I hate when the weekend rolls around. He is so spoiled and rude. The only thing that we will eat is mcdonalds, chic fil a, eggs, and lunchables. And none of those things are okay. He refuses to eat anything else. He eats McDonald's atleast once a day..he's constantly staring at me and giving me dirty looks. He always throws temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. He always jumping off the walls, screaming, and saying rude little comments. He always talks I swear he's nerve quiet. And he spits in peoples faces and my boyfriend never disciplines him because his response is "he's just a kid" and no, I known my kids my life and never have I ever meet a child that acts the way that he does. His 7 and he doesn't even know his middle name and he doesn't even know how to spell his last name... He's constantly stimulated by his iPad it's literally with him 24/7. And yesterday was the last straw.. I went to get my daughter baby wipes which was in front of the tv which he was playing video games. And all of a sudden he started to cry bloody murder because I was in the way of his tv for a couple of seconds. Then I got yelled out because I made him cry.. Even though I didn't do anything.. I'm constantly getting yelled at for things that I never do and he is always going back to his mother and sauna that I bully him when I don't even talk to him because I can't stand his face. My boyfriend always refers to him as my stepson but I cringe at the thought of calling my son. Because in my eyes he's just there just he had to be. But I don't even say hi or acknowledge him. I love my boyfriend but I hate his son and sometimes I feel like I can't do this relationship anymore. I feel bad but I just wished that he didn't exist or his baby mama would just let him stop coming over. Any advice? Or similar situations.
I think I would find it hard
I think I would find it hard to love a man that chose to reprimand me rather than his child. I would find it impossible to respect a man that was such a lazy parent.
Point is - kid isn't your problem. Your boyfriend is. He's the one allowing this and blaming you. The kid is 7 and while I'm sure he's vastly unpleasant to be around, well he's 7 and it's because his parents, Both of them, suck at their job. If your boyfriend doesn't step up and learn how to do a better job and be abetter dad, this will only get so so so much worse.
Dad obviously sees nothing wrong with what he's doing. So you have to decide what you can live with. You can try to have a come to Jesus with the guy and tell him to step it up as a parent or you're out but you need to mean it and follow through. Or realize that no, this will never get any better and no matter what the kid does, even when he's 35, daddy will still make excuses about why it's not his fault because daddy is too lazy to do anything else. Parents like this often would rather alienate every other person in their lives than have conflict with their kids. Ever. No matter what. No matter the theft, the assault, the demands.... Some of them get a clue and change, a Lot of them don't.
Why would you have a child
Why would you have a child with a man who has shown you he's a terrible parent?
WHY WHY WHY WHY do women have
WHY WHY WHY WHY do women have babies with men who have shown them they are HORRIBLE parents and not Dad material????? WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Bullshit. Any grown-up who
Bullshit. Any grown-up who acts like this to a child is a friggin' bitch: " But I don't even say hi or acknowledge him." (SS - 7)
It's not the child's fault. You are punishing a child for your BF's and his EX's lack of parenting. I agree with other comments that BF has a problem. This is more about your relationship with BF and your inner dialogue than it is about the weekend SS.
I have a little trouble with
I have a little trouble with the fact that you do not acknowledge a 7 year old child. As horrible as his behavior is, perhaps a first step would be for you to treat him with respect, even though he does not return that respect. Apparently, no one ever has taught him about respecting other people. That should be the job of his father. As far as him eating fast food, etc, you and his dad need to stop buying it for him. Prepare decent meals, and then, he can either eat what is prepared or he can go hungry. Do not keep junk food as snacks. Only keep things such a fruits and vegetables as treats. Oh, and do not even consider marrying this man until you get things straightened out. Good luck.
Welcome to step motherhood.
Welcome to step motherhood. Your situation is not much different than mine. Husband had full custody of his two sons when I met him, bio mom stepped out of the picture for a couple years til she could catch another man. Husband was not firm with his sons and let them run about and do pretty much anything. There was cussing, fighting, rude and poor behavior. I felt for the boys and could see husband needed help but the thing was even though we would sit and talk reasonably about things, he still did not want to take a firm stand with his sons' behavior. It caused huge problems pretty much til the boys left home and yes, I was blamed for all kinds of things.
When the younger boy was 19 I finally took a stand....this was 14 years after we met. I went to an attorney to find out my rights. This kid had become angered and I feared what he might do to me. He did all kinds of hateful stuff behind my back to try and get at me. His dad would have to be out of town for work and I wanted this kid gone.
I can tell you as a step parent you have no rights to the child but I do have rights to my own home. I went home and I told husband that it was time for his son to leave home or I was leaving. I was finally at the end of my rope with the whole situation. Husband gave him 3 months to get out. Of course we were blamed by husband's side of the family and ex. As far as I was concerned any of them could take him in. I was tired of all his hateful pranks towards me.
Things did not get better, in fact they only got worse. He didn't speak to us for a long long time, we did him wrong. He goes into the military, gets married, has a baby and come back from Afghanistan a "new" man and wants the connection. I told husband that if he is sincere fine but I will not play his games. I told him that if he starts with the games that will be the last time I have anything to do with him. It was just a matter of time and he started up again. he started going off and me and his dad this time telling us what terrible parents we were and how we would never know his daughter as our grand child. I held him to that, cut him out of my life and have not spoke to him since. He only responds sometimes to his dad's email but basically he cut ties too.
Have your husband read this and ask him if this is what he wants? Your husband has a responsibility to discipline and guide his child. The two of you can agree to the terms of what is allowed but he needs to back that up and carry thru with what the two of you have agreed to.