I dread the weekends

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So it's been a year and a half now and I still don't want to be around my 2 ss ages 8 and 10. They do whatever they want at their moms house and are currently getting kicked out of their apartment because of repeated complaints about noise. My daughter is 22 and was always very quiet. His boys literally bounce off the walls. The 8 year old runs circles around the house until the dog gets overstimulated and starts humping him. The 10 year old talks to himself constantly while playing video games. Just a running dialogue where it sounds like he is having a conversation with someone. Last week they were doing somersaults off the living room couch. They wanted to fly remote controlled airplanes in the living room. They can't figure out how to use a napkin and there are smears of food everywhere when they leave. And the younger one is a constant nose picker. I have nice things and really wasn't expecting them to get trashed by 2 kids. Is this normal boy behavior?? I really don't know and would love some opinions because I am going crazy. I don't want to come across as the wicked sm! Help!!

do you really hate bacon?

With a passion.

Thanks goway. And you are

Thanks goway. And you are absolutely right. DH doesn't want to set rules because he doesn't want to be the bad guy and I just sit and wait thinking he is going to do something. The problem is when I have discussed these issues with him he tells me I am being overly sensitive and "just not used to boys". I actually like my ss I just don't like the lack of rules.

And the boys have already

And the boys have already complained to BM about how there are so many rules at my house. I didn't realize washing hands and not screaming in the house was a ridiculous rule but apparently I am wrong. The other problem is that I make more money than DH so I buy most of the things in our house. And I want nice things but I get really tired of finding boogers on them.

What?? Crazy rules like a

What?? Crazy rules like a bedtime and an occasional fruit and vegetable?! That's just ridiculous! Lol!! Seriously though, we are raising the same SS. Video games alllllll day, followed by a healthy dinner of mcdonalds and chips because he hates every food group besides fast food. And they wonder why he's hyper. BM also won't cut his hair which can be kind of cute on some boys if it's kept clean. But his is not. Matted and tangled- he looks like Mowgli from the Jungle Story (that's my secret name for him). I can hardly stand to sit with them at dinner because he chews with his mouth open and one time he put his head down like a dog and licked his plate!!! And this weekend he showed up with a nasty case of impetigo around his mouth. So DH didn't know what that was and has been sharing lip balm with him. I'm losing my mind.

That is exactly what I told

That is exactly what I told him!!! Neither of the kids has many friends and I'm sure it's because the other parents don't want them over! But DH absolutely goes deaf when I try to talk to him about it even though I say it very tactfully and gently. Even getting him to agree to make them wash their hands was a battle! And I'm so over parenting. I feel like there is very little I can do that will make a difference so I just try to keep busy 2 weekends a month and clean like a fiend when they leave. Thanks for the support.

Idk if this is comforting or

Idk if this is comforting or not, but sometimes I dread weeekends & SD7 isn't half as horrible as those kids... & I only have 1 skid... so really you aren't evil at all. Lol

It is comforting!! Thank you.

It is comforting!! Thank you. I feel like a horrible person because they are nice kids but they are just so gross. Ss8 showed up with impetigo this weekend. Last month it was lice. The month before he hadn't wiped his butt decently and his shorts were covered in poop. I am so over this.

We just have very different

We just have very different parenting styles. I can honestly take the noise and a little running especially in winter I know they go stir crazy. It is more the lack of personal hygiene that is making me OCD and want to Clorox wipe incessantly.

BM to 2 boys, 6 and 12 here,

BM to 2 boys, 6 and 12 here, and I have to say, everything you described is the same I see in my DSs, down to the youngest being a nose-picker! (Ours even tries to eat it--ewwwww, I say he got that from DH's side! lol!) My SSs, who are now 18 and 20, were NEVER as bad as my bios. From friends who have girls, it seems to me that girls are generally much more quiet, demure and easy-going. It is a constant struggle to keep our kids from doing all of those things you described in the house. We find it works better when they have a chance to blow off steam outside, and we let them do that whenever the weather permits. Honestly, I dread weekends with MY own Bios! lol. However, I will say that I probably would have found all of this behavior even more annoying had my SSs been that way (they were at times but were generally better behaved than ours are) do don't be too hard on yourself.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

Thanks. I appreciate that. And it is easier to deal with my own kids annoying behaviors for sure. Not that I was a perfect parent by any means, but my BD just wasn't so, for lack of a better word, gross. :/

Boys do tend to be more

Boys do tend to be more rambunctious, so it's good to come up with ideas for controlled chaos. Easy when the weather's good, needs more thought when it's not. SMto2 had some good ideas for you. The more active you can keep them, the better. That will also make the indoor behaviours easier to get under control.

Definitely. Thanks for the

Definitely. Thanks for the help and suggestions!!

And it is hard having the

And it is hard having the odious strict rules even when we know it's better for kids to have boundaries!!

I think "normal" is relative,

I think "normal" is relative, and typically the people who say this behavior is normal is because their kids are that way. My son has never been like that, so it's not normal to me. I do agree your problem comes down to parenting or lack thereof. My son recently got into the habit of bringing his iPod to bed and staying up all hours with other teens whose parents had no clue. I let it go for a while, hoping he would realize not getting enough sleep was ruining his basketball practices, and making his days generally miserable. He couldn't stay awake. I hoped he would figure this out himself, but the temptation was too great every night. When I finally took the iPod, I could tell he was relieved. Kids can't handle being the master of themselves, until they prove that they can. They WANT to be disciplined and they want someone to tell them "no" when they don't have the self control to do it themselves. It just needs to be the parent, not the step. I think that's where most step problems start.

Completely agree!!

Completely agree!! Stepparents cant be in charge of the discipline because it leads to so much resentment. Just had a long talk with the DH and I'm hoping we are on the same page again. He tries, but we had really different upbringings and it affects our perceptions of "normal".

I guess I didn't care if I

I guess I didn't care if I came across as the wicked SM, if I saw something that needed to be corrected, I corrected it. Granted, I had it a lot easier than some (SD was very calm), but I did not keep quiet. My house, my rules.

And bouncing off the walls, running around the house like a wild child, somersaults off the couch, not normal behavior. What in the hell does BM feed them?

Mcdonalds, candy, and hot

Mcdonalds, candy, and hot dogs. :/. I want to help them eat better too but if I put out any kind of decent food they just complain. I added one carrot stick to dinner the other night and you would have thought I asked them to eat a pound of dog shit.

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