Not until Daddy realizes he has a parasite.

It only works if dad doesn't let himself be manipulated. It must start with him.

No, SD never changed her behavior, but then - she's not allowed in our home. I agree with twopines, it starts with DH. He has to make the marriage his top priority. This means whatever SD wants will be only considered when it is not to the detriment to your marriage. You and your DH need to present a picture of unity.

As long as she gets away with it and gets what she wants, why would she change? Her father has to stop letting himself be manipulated.

Ha ha ha ~ I laugh at this question !!!!

My sd is no longer welcome in my home ~ because of her rude disrespectful n self righteous attitude. And will never be welcome until a heart felt apology crosses her lips n I expect that to happen when hell freezes over.

She can no longer manipulate her daddy war$ ~ if you can see him you can't manipulate them. I have never stopped or demanded he no see Veruca salt ~ Veruca just can't seem to make time for daddy. You know between working full time n going to school full time ~ oh shit wait that is my daughter going to school n working full time. As dropped out of college the first semester n pretty sure drugs/alcohol/tattoos/the prize bf all come first.

I'm going through the same thing, I've been waiting for years for SD29 to change and then it hit me, I really don't care if SHE changes or not just keep your Sociopathic self away from me and my home, however I am wishing and hoping my DH wakes up and makes a change in stop falling for her manipulations and lies and wake up and see the wench for who she really is and rest assured she is NOT Daddy's sweet innocent little princess like she was at age 3, she's been pulling her shit since before I came into the picture when she was 8 years old, I've heard stories of her prior to my arrival and it confirms my thought that she was born the demon she is there's no helping her and I am 99% sure she's a Sociopath with Narcessistic traits and if anyone is familiar with someone who is one or both the best advice you can get into how to deal with them isn't just stay away it's RUN away as fast as you can. Good luck with your situation balancedstep!

No, in fact I just asked the wonderful ladies here if they had ever encountered their SD's doing this. Sadly, the older SD gets, the worse her behavior. I had always hoped that when she became an adult, she would improve. Just disengage and leave her alone. If you have nothing to do with her, you remove her power. I would also talk with your DH about his treatment of you. YOU should be the most important thing in his life, not SD. She is a grown woman now and can fend for herself. I would strongly suggest he get counselling if he is not in agreement or just cannot handle her.

In a word....No!!! And wait til there is a SGD on the scene, you start all over again!!

MY SD18 has changed but only when DH changed and cut off the paths of manipulation. Can I clarify that she is not stopping the desire to manipulate but the opportunities have been narrowed down. On the upside this is great progress and I highly recommend it. Each time we have narrowed the gap, it has improved her life and our life. Her independence has improved and her interaction with the world.

It can get better.

you and he are the only ones who can change it. His parenting is one key and your ability to communicate as a couple is the other key.

They wont change as long as FATHER keeps not being a partner to you and respect for you as that is #1 issues here when we took the vow forsaking all others I did not remember the clause except kids,ex wives,ex husbands,mother ,father dogs etc..IT said all others and we must be a team to get though this not a secretive operation behind your back which will start put a stop to it now or it will get worse..I did not and live with a mess for the time I am ...

These are all good comments and food for thought as I enter into this exchange with a SD who is possessive and manipulative.

I think they can change, with a good bout of disengagement from you and a 'not accepting bad behavior attitude' from DH. Only the real demons would not change.

Your DH has a lot to do with it. Ultimately they want their Father's love and want to show and tell you that "Daddy loves me more". If DH assures them he loves them but will not accept any shit, believe me they have changed. I have been a step marriage twice. My late husband adored his children, but accepted no rubbish and made it clear I will not be disrespected or treated like a furniture. We had a sticky year, but then things changed drastically and we blended really well. Even today I keep in touch with my stepkids.

However DH number 2, denies their bad behavior. I have disengaged and keep myself out of uncomfortable situation. For this reason and only this reason the relationship has gotten better. DH has contributed nothing. I lie, once or twice he has stood up to them, but quickly backs down. It has been one rollercoaster that has turned me into one hard, loving bitch! Loving because if you give me a chance you will see that I can be a very nice and caring Step Mum. If you give me passive aggression I will give you a fully blown out disengagement.

I don't think so. I think most people have set their character by the time they're into adulthood - mid twenties and on. I think change is possible if you're really motivated, (I think of many people who have overcome addictions and the like to turn their lives around) but if the skids in question don't think they've got anything to change, and their families don't give them motivation - then why would they? (in our case, DH offering as much as he gets and not taking all the ownership of making the relationship work. Since DH is trying harder than anyone to make this work, pressuring me - and to be fair beginning to put some pressure on OSD - to kiss and sing kumbaya, they can just sit back and blame nasty old bah and love their ever so special selves)

Yeah, no.

bah

just bah