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How to handle bold face lying

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 9:08am

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General Discussion

I apologize if this subject has already been covered in another forum topic.

I'm wondering you how handle a situation when the skids lies to the BD in front of you and you know it's a lie?

Here's a short background. I work from home so I'm the only person still home when SD10 gets up and gets ready for school. FDH has been very specific and consistent in what she is to do every morning: shower, dry her hair, brush teeth, make bed, etc. Sometimes she skips some of these activities...showering and brushing her teeth for instance. I'm not emotionally attached to her hygiene but FDH is and wants her to learn to take good care of herself. He expects that I let him know if she's not doing what she's supposed to do. I'm the observer but not the enforcer (he'd love for me to be the enforcer but been-there-done-that-will-never-do-it-again.) I don't bother asking if she's done what she's supposed to do because then she'll just lie to me.

Yesterday, for instance, I didn't hear the shower running and I heard the blow dryer on for about 10 seconds. And, she didn't look like she had showered. After she leaves, I check the shower and it's dry as is her toothbrush. Lastnight I tell FDH and he calls her out...even smelled her hair and said he didn't think she showered. She swears she showered. Total lie. I didn't want to tell her how I know she didn't shower because then she'll simply run the water for a few second and be done with it.

Ideas for how to handle this?

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 9:13am

OMG - sounds like you live at my house. I have been dealing w/ this w/ my SD14 for months.....it has gotten worse the past 2 weeks. The worst part is DH doesn't buy that princess would do such things; even when I give him point blank things. She has stolen 5 pieces of makeup from me; 2 sweatshirts and a t-shirt from my daughter which I just found inside out and underneath a pile of her clothes in the back of her closet.......lies lies lies. Personally I have put up w/ it long enough; I have reached my boiling point. Time to start calling it out; make it known. I am letting her know that despite her daddy coming to her resuce; I am on to her games! It is disgusting

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 9:56am

Apparently, your SO is gone by the time SD gets up and going?

If it were DH and I dealing with this, SD would have to get up whenever DH got up...Even if it was 4am and he had to be at work at 6...She'd get her nasty ass up and shower, wash her hair and brush her teeth...Period...If she needed to shower and wash her hair at night and miss any other activities, she'd do that, too if necessary...

Inconvenience her...Even if it inconveniences you and SO for a while...She'll get tired of it and start doing right...OR just wait until the kids at school start calling her Pig Pen or Yuck Mouth...

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 7:16pm

Ooooo I like that idea! She'd hate getting up at 5:30am. The mere threat of it might do the trick.

I'll wait til the next time and then strongly suggest this approach to her dad. Thanks!

TheBrightSide's picture

Submitted by TheBrightSide on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 2:03pm

She could start showering at night before she goes to bed. Its an option.

Its a crazy age when kids don't want to shower or bath. Or brush their teeth. I swear my SD10 would never do it if we didn't make her. She's slowly now, starting to be a bit more proactive about initiating a bath or shower.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 7:22pm

I stopped saying anything too. However, last night she was sitting on the couch with us and the issue of her wanting to start shaving her legs came up and FDH asked my opinion. I suggested that she concentrate on the morning duties she currently has before adding to the list. He got the message and leaned in to smell her breath and promptly sent her to brush. He looked at me and said, "well, she showered this am, right?" Nope...don't think so. He assumed because I was no longer saying anything that everything was going according to plan. Wrong. That's when he confronted her about showering and she lied. Good grief...why is all this stuff so damn hard? It's not as if it's an acid bath!