How to handle this BM BS?
So BM booked a flight for SS13 to come and stay with us for a week after we said he couldn't. Now I am a little unsure how to solve this.
I am on maternity leave now with our baby and we also have a 2 yo. My husband and I agreed that he should stay with BM this fall break because we had SS during all vacations last year and because my husband had to work.SS has no friends were we live. DH texted this to BM. She didn't agree. And then after a couple of days she said that she already bought the tickets and that he was staying with us no matter what. My DH said well you can't decide that for us, sorry you wasted your money.
She doesn't give up though, and DH is starting to feel bad about it because he feels like he is turning down time with his son. I feel like I REALLY don't want him there with me and no friends all week. And I also feel like a bad person for feeling that way. I don't want to hurt my husband but I cant handle a week alone with SS and I don't want to give in to BMs manipulating BS... Any advice?
Does she realize that your DH
Does she realize that your DH has to work all week and son will be sitting at home by himself all week?
She probably has plans and needs to get rid of him.
Yes, she knows this. She said
Yes, she knows this. She said he could just relax and read. :? That is actually funny because that is the two things this kid really hate. I have never seen him relaxing with a book in the seven years I have known him. He only likes playing soccer with his friends or playing games on his iPad.
Ask her to pay for a sitter
Ask her to pay for a sitter or camp for the stay since she made these arrangements. You will not hear from her again. What a weirdo.
Thanks for your suggestsions,
Thanks for your suggestsions, we will try that. She definitely is a weirdo
Hmmm... what does the court
Hmmm... what does the court order say? If it is his time, he technically should take it. Is your husband working all day, every day through the break? If so, then no, ss cannot come, as dh is not available (YOU are not a party to their court order). If he is home weekends and evenings or whatever, then, well, that is parenting... he will need to find alternative care during the day.
I would agree that since she insists that he come, she should probably be paying at least a portion of the child care.
It really all comes down to the court order. If it is his court ordered time, he needs to deal with it. If it is something they figure out between them, then he should just simply state that he is unavailable during that time. The more explanations given, the more room for arguments.
It isn't his court ordered
It isn't his court ordered time, so he is not obliged to take it. We usually agree to have SS when BM asks(more often its "tells") us, so she is not used to DH saying no. Neither is DH...
Don't ask, TELL Daddy that if
Don't ask, TELL Daddy that if he allows the kid to arrive without sending him right back HE should take the kid to work or otherwise arrange for sitting such as at a day care center. After work he is 100% in charge of entertainment, feeding, cleaning and clothing the kid. One hundred percent. It's bad enough you'll have to watch what you're wearing while the kid is around instead of wearing your most comfortable clothing.
If it gets to it tell him you'll call the police to report the kid as abandoned if he is in the home and Daddy isn't.
This is an ultimate power play on BM's part, she knows full well what its like to have a newborn at home and wants to reach all the way into your home and impose her will upon you. You MUST stop her in her tracks.
Thank you so much, that is
Thank you so much, that is exactly how I feel too
^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Let them know that NOBODY will be claiming him at the airport if they allow him to board.
Then tell BM "DO NOT put him on that flight, we will NOT be picking him up"
Sounds like an excellent week
Sounds like an excellent week to go visit your family.
ditto what others said about
ditto what others said about blocking his boarding, etc.
airline tickets are good for up to one year. all she'd have to pay is the change feed. its not like they will be wasted as it sounds like you will see him within a year.