I think its impossible to separate them. A good dad does fun things for his children but does not take it to extremes and makes sure there is a balance with other aspects of life and other people in his life (like us!) A disney dad takes it to extremes because he is trying to assuage his guilt at not being around all the time. I think kids need dads for lots of things, but not just the disney fun things - the boundaries and the role model and the checking up on homework etc are also very important.

I think I have a combo of both...He's guilty dad because he works a lot and doesn't think he spends enough money or time (meaning taking her places non-stop) on his princess (who is a full timer btw). He's disney dad in the sense that he drills it in her head that I will buy you whatever you want and let you go and do whatever you want and if you ever want to go stay with your mother she won't do that for you. Can't win on that one. Wow I making myself depressed thinking about this and the weekend...birthday party at BM for her older daughter (who DH has been like a dad to all her life) that my DH is paying for because BM has guilted him into it...YAY for me!

I think they are a chain reaction of each other.

A lot of guilty/disney daddy results as a kneejerk reaction to the BM's PAS.

"Seeeeeee??!! Daddykins isn't bad like mommy says he is b/c he bought you alllllll these presents and lets you do whateeeeeever you want when you're with daddykins"

Of course the family court system is NO help b/c it favours the BM no matter what she does. She could practically set off a nuke at her kid's daycare and still be proclaimed MOTY with full custody.

On the other hand, daddykins can do no right and should shut up, eat his peas and be a nice big fat wallet for the BM and skids.

Clearly, one leads to the other so they are very hard to separate. Dad feels guilty so he becomes Disney dad. Its the same crap we all deal with. Stupid dad should have divorced hideous wife but instead decided to inpregnante her...because hey, maybe that will cure her of her personality disorders and fix the marriage....sadly, it doesn't cure anything and they divorce before kid can walk or know what a family is...but dad feels guilty about not giving kid something he has never known and therefore cannot miss. Dad compensates for this guilt by being best buddy instead of father. He is now Disney dad. There is no bedtime, no chores, no discipline. Of course dad also wants to compete with psycho BM for favorite parent status, so that means more toys, more allowance money, more amusement parks, more candy, and on and on and on. So if you are stuck with one of these guys, your life probably looks like mine. The couple in the "family" is dad and his best buddy kid, not you and your husband. They choose what to do for fun (actually kid choses at dad's urging), they decide where to go on vacation, they decide what is for dinner, what movie they watch, etc. If you want to be involved, you can tag along or stay home alone. They live in Disney land and we live in hell. Maybe someday we should actually take skid to Disney Land, although he is too old for that now. It would be so ironic, the two of them hand in hand giggling and deciding what rides to ride while I walk three paces behind carrying the jackets and the cash. Disney dad in Disney Land would be quite the experience.

Omg forever2, I am living your life! We went to Disney World last summer too and I was freaking miserable!

GAH, my DH is a guilty/disney Dad through and through. I tried to tell him that being that way will only ensure that SS7 will grow up to be a spoiled, narccistic, disrespecting brat but to no avail. He bought SS7 a new bike the other day as a reward for cleaning his bedroom. Really? We went out to dinner with MY family who was visiting from NY and I haven't seen in years and SS7 said "Daddy, I'm ready to go, get the check." Disney/gulity DH got up from the table and got the check from the waitress and we left. Yep, sucks.

The way I define them, my DH went from being a Disney Dad to a Guilty Dad. But some BD can be both at the same time.

I see a Disney Dad as the ones that only have their kid a limited time (a few weeks in the summer or every other weekend), and use it as non-stop fun time for their kid with zero parenting. After all, who would want to ruin the fun with kid with actually having to discipline her?

When my DH was a Disney Dad, he had his daughter for a few weeks a year which were treated as vacation and he tried to see how much he could make things up to her and make her like him by doing everything she wanted - fast food, ice cream, movies, outings, no bed time, gifts.

Guilty Dad is the dad who’s unable to enforce any rules or consequences and bends to the whims of his kid due to guilt.

When SD came to live with us full time, DH became Guilty Dad. Or I also like to call him, Captain Waffle. All SD needs to do is pout, throw a tantrum or when all else fails, cry, and her dad will cave - anything to make his little sweetie feel better.

For example, a few months ago, SD wanted to go see a specific movie with her dad only (not the rest of the family). It was like a date. But that week, SD failed a test, mouthed off constantly, called my son an obscenity. DH grounds her, tries to get tough, and I think he’s making progress. But that lasts less than 24 hours. Saturday afternoon, she still gets to go to the movie and all I get is excuses for her behavior from DH. No consequences are enforced. Guilt won’t let him.

If I had brought up the fact that it was inappropriate for SS7 to call the shots at dinner there would have been an excuse for SS7 behavior. I thought about bringing it up but, I know that I would have heard "we had been there for an hour and a half, he's a kid, he only has a limited amount of patience...etc." blah, blah, blah. I've become so frustrated in the past that I don't say anything anymore. God forbid I say anything directly to SS7 about his behavior, b/c then I am accused of being "too sensitive" by DH. It's a no-win situation for me..