How did the kids make you feel?
How does the X showing up and marking her territory make you feel?

Now, is that something you are willing to deal with, is this man worth it? Just know that this will never change or go away - this is what you are signing on for - no it doesn't get better, no it doesn't change, if anything, it intensifies as your relationship grows.

Find a man who doesn't come with the above feelings. Sorry. Read on this board, get out now.

I agree with all of the above. He needs to set a clear boundary and then enforce it. It's not appropriate for the other parent to intrude on parent-child custody time and I would strongly recommend talking to a lawyer about this. That is called stalking and there are laws against that. If, as an Athiest, she feels the need to attend church services, she can attend the service that your man is not attending. If she has any other reason to be in church other than wanting to be in church, she is harassing and stalking your guy.

I'm happily divorced after a hellish step-parenting situation, so I am speaking from experience here. The truth is that your guy has to be the one to set the appropriate boundaries. He needs to first tell his ex that it's not appropriate or okay for her to show up during his custody time with his kids. Then he needs to contact a lawyer, document the stalking and take action. It sounds like a restraining order might be necessary if she doesn't back off. If he doesn't do these things, he's a pushover and you should walk away. Seriously, RUN, if he doesn't set these boundaries now. I made all kinds of excuses for my ex when he failed to set appropriate boundaries with his ex and it came back to haunt me and ruined my marriage. He needs to make it clear that his relationship with her IS OVER, and that his only responsibility is to his own children. His relationship with his kids lasts forever, but it's over with his ex, whether she accepts it or not. She can choose to live in delusional unicorn land, but as long as your guy sets good boundaries, she really can't do much. If he doesn't set the boundaries, she will get worse, the kids will be disrespectful and harm your relationship and you will be miserable. Trust me.

Hope he puts that crazy lady in her place and it works out! Good luck!

I'd send some Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons her way as often as possible, and let her know that I was praying for her. I'd put her name on every mailing list for every church I could find. In short, I'd Jesus her to death until she got the hint.

What is your boyfriend doing about this? He's really the only one who can put a stop to it, and if he's not doing anything, you'd better think long and hard about the future of this relationship because these behaviors will NOT go away on their own. They'll only get worse. BM is way over the line here, and she knows what she's doing, but until your boyfriend does something, it's going to continue to make your life hell.

My inner evil self would say that SO should leave the kids with you on Sunday morning (unfortunately) and he go by himself. When she shows up and asks where are the kids, he can tell her that they are with you for the morning and he needs to take that opportunity to set some clear guidelines that she is unwelcome and putting him in a position to serve her with a OP if she continues. She can either back off by choice or by force.....

OR you can just go to church too. All of yall on the same pew learning about the Lord. She might make a scene or she might just leave. Either way it's all going to come to a dramatic end so you might as well get it over with and start setting boundaries.

As for SD, this sounds like a situation where disengaging is best. I am not a fan of disengaging but from the stories I have read on ST, it is best in most cases. If the kids are not open to you or young enough to be open to you then disengage. I feel like most step daughters cause the most problems.

The jealous bitch is trying to piss on your territory. She's insecure and immature - no use trying to talk to her bc there's no reasoning with stupid.

Only advice I can give is to either Change churches or go on a different day at a different time. You'll never be able to change/control her but youse can change/control your routine. I know this sucks but it's either that or try to put up with the bitch, and I wouldn't want to do that.

Another sure fire way to try to nip this behaviour in the bud is going through court - get your SO to seek Court Orders and introduce boundaries. I promise you - when the BM acts like this - she is showing jealousy and nothing will stop it unless you have a court order (or at least it will HELP try to control her intruding on your lives).