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Help me calm down because I'm gonna blow!

StepDoormat's picture

DH and I have the SDs blocked from our social media sites. They used to use every single thing we did/bought/said against us with their mom and we had enough. Mind you, these kids are completely PASed at this point... but they've also gone out of their way to attempt damaging my marriage. At one point, I thought they were going to succeed. However... at this point, DH always defends me. He puts our marriage first - and because of that, his daughters refuse to see him. They told him he "had one chance to choose between Stepdoormat & us - or we aren't going to visit you again". He told them where he stands, and we haven't seen them since July (save for Christmas so they could collect gifts, of course).

Anyways - I just heard from my in-laws that OSD16 has been posting horrible things about me on fb and that her mom is making comments to fuel the fire. They are horrible comments - about me AND her dad. Ok... I was kind of "Whatever - I don't really care... please don't even tell me about it because it doesn't do any good" for the past several days.

Then, OSD started sending private messages to all of DHs family saying that she has proof what a horrible person I am - screenshots of nasty things I used to post about her. I didn't post anything about HER... although ONE TIME EVER I posted one of those ecards on my photo sharing site that said something about baby mamas and child support. It was a lapse in judgment since I attempt to stay above it... but that is the ONLY time in 3 years I've ever done that - and only because it was funny. I removed it shortly after posting, and this was months ago. I'm not sure anyone ever even saw it.

So, I'm not sure what screenshots she has - probably something photoshopped. This wouldn't be the first time she has done that to attempt ruining my marriage. She is apparently telling all of DHs family that I have been horrible to her and called her all sorts of names and that she doesn't know what to do anymore because her dad always chooses me over her and that she needs their help to get him to see how horrible I am.

Now... my in-laws are amazing. I consider them closer than my own parents are. They know the struggles. I don't THINK they will fall for it. But... its still SUPER embarrassing that I have this much drama all the time. I'm sick of her crap. I am about to blow a gasket. Help me deal!!! Talk me off a cliff.

oldone's picture

Do you know any lawyers? I'd have one write her a letter outlining the penalties for libel.

If anyone says anything again just sort of shake your head and utter a "bless her heart" statement about how pathetic she is.

StepDoormat's picture

^^^ LOL, yes. I do know several lawyers pretty well. Problem is? They are good friends of mine and DHs as a couple. I doubt they'd get involved in our personal drama. But, that's pretty damn funny.

cant win for losin's picture

Don't be embarassed, she is making herself to be the fool.

Shut down those who are trying to stir it up.

"bless her heart" "nod politely and change the subject"

Rise above it!

Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter!

Purplemom's picture

They are under 18? Then dh, as a responsible parent, should contact Facebook and have the little darlings accounts deleted. Can't let Them be harrasive now can we?

TASHA1983's picture

That is downright shitty! I would do what the others suggested, I would click the "report abuse" or whatever it says button and report them to FB! I had a problem like that but instead of that; someone made up a fake profile just to bash me over something that was so stupid and petty. Gotta love social media sites!!!

Continue to stand your ground and be the bigger person! Vent to good friends/family that don't run in the same circles as SDs so it won't get back to them but don't ever post anything, whether it's a PM or public or even a text or email, so it can never come back to bite you or potentially get in the "wrong" hands.

Bottom line...ALL that matters is that your DH has your back and he is on your side. I know it must be hard for him to have to choose BUT he is doing the right thing by you and in regards to the situation at hand because his daughters KNOW BETTER and they are being purposely and spitefully mean to you and slandering you.

FUCK'EM ALL!!! Wink

bi's picture

pretty sad that she is digging this hard and after how long of being blocked, to try to get you in trouble. sd20 always thought she could tattle to fdh on me if i didn't do what she told me to and get me in trouble. digusting how she thought i was on the same level as her- a child who has to take orders from daddy. she started her shit via text one time and i showed fdh every text as it came in as well as my response. she started fwd'g my texts to him (but not hers) immediately. he ignored it and i texted her "nice try, but i don't keep secrets from your dad". that REALLY pissed her off that her little attempt got her nowhere.

people like this are disgusting and never grow up. sd is 20 and still pulls constant passive agressive shit with me. the difference between her and your sd is that she tries to make sure no one but me sees what she's doing, she only wants them to know what i do, as if she has no part in it at all and i'm doing things out of nowhere with no provocation.

stina1119L's picture

I'm in a similar situation with the ex and the skids. They won't come over anymore, saying that I'm a bad person, but really it's ex thats fueling a fire that was not even there. She lit it and fueled it, is manipulating the kids and hoping that them choosing her over their Dad will make us split up. He defends me but if I ever did something bad to the kids he would say something to me too, but she says on the phone to him in front of the kids on her side "You only care about defending your wife!" so he has no way to defend himself to the kids. Then the kids think that that is true and don't want to come over. I used to have great relationships with the kids, but she's killed that. She's killed everything. She even HAS had the power to get into my head and hurt our new marriage (less than a year married) and make me feel awful. She does not know that personally, but its there. She used to try to get into DH's familys heads too.... but luckily that didn't last long. Now she just tries to keep the kids away from them all. If your DH is defending you, you are ahead of the game. Just try to talk to his family and tell them what you think is happening and how you never did anything personal to her at all, on FB or otherwise. Hopefully this will blow over.