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Having second thoughts about getting married.

cantmissamy's picture

Submitted by cantmissamy on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 2:34pm

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Hi all. I am having such a hard time hear and everything in my gut is telling me to run and not get married. You see not only am I having to deal with the fact that my future husband is deployed and my future step-son lives with his parents, it is the fact that his family has really shown me their true side once my son and I moved into his house. My fmil will say things to me like you are living off my son and taking advantage of him. Do you make a living out of using people. Look the fact of the matter is I never wanted to move in here but did with his insistance. Now it has gotten to the point of to where I am being attacked on places like facebook by his whole family..This all started when I asked him for money one time, not a great ammount something like $25 and my fmil read my yahoo when I was out. What should I do here? I love him but really cant deal with the family anymore.

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 3:13pm

If you can't tell them to mind their own f*cking business then get out while you can.

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 6:59pm

Run. Your BF should have dealt with this a long time ago. If he wanted you to live with them and didn't care what it would be like for you, it won't get better. Run. Run. Run.

UCSM (BB)

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 10:31am

If he won't stand up to them, run.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

fedupstepdad's picture

Submitted by fedupstepdad on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 5:40pm

If bitching inlaws and an email regarding $25 is enough to make you unsure about getting married to this guy, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH RELATIONSHIP TO SURVIVE WHAT ANY MARRIAGE WOULD NEED!!!! SO RUN LIKE HELL!!! Good luck!

imagr8tma's picture

Submitted by imagr8tma on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 6:02pm

Well, my opinion is to stand up to the in-laws and then ignore them. If you love this man and he loves you - don't listen to them. Get them off of your facebook page, you don't have to answer their phone calls, you don't have to talk to them at all. Hell you are in the relationship with him. I am a firm believer that if you marry someone - the relationship is between you and that person. If the inlaws step in and start offering advice (bad advice) or causing drama - put them in their place. You are not their child and you and their son is grown.

If you don't feel like you can stand up and put a boundary in place - Run like hell cause they will cause you un-due stress.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************