Have any SM's here had any problems when you and dh decided to get married?
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I am worried, bf and I have decided to get married (not untill May). Bf's grandma says not to tell the kids or anyone because she thinks bm sees us being together as a whim and that we arent' going to last and he will go running back to her. I don't know a part of me doesnt' give a crap what she thinks, I just can't imagine what she could possibly do to ruin things, I've already decided I'm not telling the kids exactly when we are getting married, I might not tell them where either. Bf and I have been together almost 5 years she should be over all this by now right? I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone else has had any issues with this.
You'd think she be over it,
You'd think she be over it, but..... We didn't tell SD5 when or where we were getting married either. I was afraid the Wingnut would show up and try to ruin my day by throwing a scene. She didn't know it was happening until the week before (because someone ELSE in the family decided they should tell SD), but she never found out where. I believe Wingnut thought that she and dh would work things out right up until recently when she realized I come first and there isn't anything she can do about it.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
DH & I eloped and honestly
DH & I eloped and honestly it was the BEST decision EVER!! No one knew and I mean no one. That way no one could ruin anything or put any negative input. BM was shocked and devastated. And we made sure we told the skids FIRST when we returned, than we told our family. I dont know if you guys are planning to have a wedding, but if not you should consider truly eloping and not dealing with any possible drama.
We told SS that we were
We told SS that we were getting married and when, but not where. We actually went to the court house, it was cheap and easy. Things got worse with BM for the simple fact that she didn't want to see DH happy. She didn't try to ruin anything as far as showing up or anything like that.
My Dad married my Stepmom behind our backs and I was livid. I was 15 and my brother was 12. We didn't get over that for a while. My Dad has even admitted that not including us didn't help things. I made sure to include SS9 in our wedding. If your relationship with your skids is shaky, you may want to keep that in mind.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
BM was upset that she wasnt
BM was upset that she wasnt invited to our wedding. AND she let everyone know it! The woman is bonkers, no one in our family can stand her and she thought she should be there just because SD was going to be in the ceremony??!! Three years later she still throws it in our face how we didnt tell SD or her until the last minute that we were getting married and that's the reason for all of SD's behavior problems!
We had to hide it. The skids
We had to hide it. The skids ( who were a party of the wedding party)did not know until the day before the wedding actually happend. Reason being, if BM knew, she would have kept the kids from us.
When she found out ( she unpacked the kids clothes and founf SD and SS wedding outfits) she phoned my husband and asked why he had to lie, and what makes him think he can move on with his life and she was going to take ME to court for more child support and she thought it was all a big joke and so on and so on. She acted this way because she was very unhappy in her marriage ( now divorced due to her cheating) and she still loves my hsuband after all this time. So be prepared, not saying anything bad will happen...just be prepared.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore
DH & I eloped...no one but
DH & I eloped...no one but my parents & his parents knew about it. We didn't tell the kids we were getting married, but did however ask them the week before what they thought about DH & I getting married one day. At the time the kids were 3, 4, & 7....so the 2 youngest ones didn't really understand to good, but SD7 (who is now 15) did understand and thought it would be cool if we did. So, the next weekend DH & I eloped. BM didn't find out until we came back. The only thing she knew before it happened was that we asked the kids what they thought about it if we did one day. Then wouldn't ya know, BM and her bf at the time decided to get married and did so a few months after we did and on DH's Birthday. I guess BM thought it would make DH mad that she got remarried on his birthday. lol
Thank you all so much for
Thank you all so much for responses it really helps, I want a church wedding, with all my family, and I want to include all 5 of the kids, I think what I'll do is not tell them where or exactly when, we are supposed to have bf's kids that weekend anyway, so if I play it right she won't even know untill after its over and I might do it in my hometown anyway so I highly doubt she would drive an hour to try and find us. If it were up to bf we would fly off somewhere get hitched and come back and have a cookout, I don't think so, my last name is Hicks but it doesn't mean I am one lol. He doesn't seem too worried about the whole bm thing but who knows what she's capable of. Again thank you all for your responses. *Life is full of hard things its not always fair but we do have a choice to make things better instead of worse*
We are getting married in
We are getting married in June and when i got my engagement ring, the ex wife flipped out!! its been 6 months since we got engaged and she still talks about how my "big fat diamond" is more important to my FDH than his kids. (He pays his child support, shes just jealous and greedy). Our problem is we want the Skids to be in the wedding so we have to be very sneaky in telling her why we will want to have them that weekend. If she knew we were having them in the wedding she would show up like a crazy whore and try and ruin everything. I know this because when I gave birth to my baby (now 3 months old) she called the effin hospital room!!! Your best bet is to try and hide the info from her if you can. Bitter women never stop getting joy from making the "new woman" miserable.
I sent a wedding invitation
I sent a wedding invitation to TheFrizz's house for SD to open. Sd knew we were getting married and so did everyone else but SD asked me to send her a fancy invite bc she loves getting mail.
TheFrizz called DH when the invitation came...she was hysterically bawling LOUDLY telling DH I sent it purposely to hurt her and make her feel bad just like I purposely shove my diamonds in her face everytime I see her (I'm left handed bitch, I use my left hand for EVERYTHING and my left hand is the hand I wear my diamonds on,DUH)
SD was completely over the moon at the thought of being involved in the wedding bc I bought her the most gorgeous gown and she knew she'd be having a big girl spa day with me and my mother to get her hair done just like mine.
Then suddenly, after TheFrizz got the invitation meant for SD...SD changed. She didn't want us to get married. She hated me and hated her father and said she didn't want to be at the wedding or in it. To this day I know TheFrizz brainwashed SD and ruined it for her.
BUT...I just let SD go. She came around after she saw I wasn't going to beg her or force her to be included. She was the first one down the aisle and then I followed with choochoo holding my hand to give me away.
TheFrizz eventually calmed down and went online to my photographers website and bought some of the pics of SD at the wedding in her pretty gown. Then she proceeded to forward the link to her gaggle of girlfriends so they could try to find something to pick at...fortunately, the whole wedding was flawless and she had no ammo.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Yes, I am sure you just sit
Yes, I am sure you just sit at home consumed with what will make BM cry because you don't have anything better to do?? I love that the good majority of BM's think that our whole world's revolve around them and every decision is made with their "feelings" in mind.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
of COURSE that's what I do!
of COURSE that's what I do! Just like I sit at home and think of ways to make my ex's new girlfriend miserable and uncomfortable. Hell it's what I do
My day is not complete if I don't make somebodies significant other or biomom cry her widdle eyes out. I can't sleep at night unless I've done my duty of keeping Kleenex in business.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
lmao!!! "God is great, beer
lmao!!!
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Does Gir ever miss an
Does Gir ever miss an opportunity to let you know that she was the love of his life??? Wingnut LOVES to tell me how many friends they had and how close they were and how they were together for 24 years and she was the love of his life. She actually looks to him to support her when ever she and I argue. I just laugh. Um, hi bitch, he left you. You tried to stab him. He hates you. His family thinks you're a bitch. and while he used to work 80 hours a week away from home, he's home every night for dinner now and works from home at least twice a week.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
We eloped to avoid drama.
We eloped to avoid drama. Didn't tell anyone. Neither of us wanted a big church do and our kids are older. It didn't quite work, as after the wedding my SILs went psycho. BM cried when DH told her the next day (so she wouldn't hear on the street first). She is such a hypocrite. I have never seen any evidence of "love" from her. Who knows what would have happened if we had told people in advance? I think our instincts were right to keep it "for us."
But it's like our whole marriage, we are a tight, happy unit and outside is this ring of troublemakers. So glad we moved away from the drama merry-go-round.
went to jamaica and got
went to jamaica and got married....2 weeks later bm filed to try and get full custody with limited visatation, ie smnikki cant watch ss....of course we smashed her in court, but its been one thing after another...but it was like that before we married too so i dont know!?