You are here

gave sd a taste of her own poison

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

Submitted by dispiritedstepm... on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 7:36am

Forums: 
General Discussion

previous post of mine was basically about sd making it known i have no place in her life/heart whatever. so last night on fb, i put my status as this:

<3 bd5, bf, dog1, dog2, dog3 <3

she commented this:

"awe r u listing the fam? thanks for forgetting about me, but i am part of the fam since bf is MY dad and bd5 is MY half-sister"

my response:

yes, he is ur father and she is ur half-sister, when/if ur dad makes a status like this on his fb then i know he will most certainly include ur name. and i didnt forget about u, u ARE part of the family, but u know u and i are not close like we could be thats why i didnt put ur name, sorry. u have no problem making it known u dont like me and i dont exist on ur list of 'family' and thats ok Smile

so i got to her, and it may be childish or wrong, but she hurt MY feelings and i know she put the pic of her and her bios on fb on purpose to piss me off....i think doing this and responding this way was more mature than i could have been.

for those wondering, i spoke with bf on the phone last night about sd making it known she hates me and that i am not part of her priority list, the fb stuff ect, and he is upset. i told him that i am disengaging again, and he agrees and says he is sorry she is being this way, sd is being PAS'd out by bm obviously.

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 7:58am

Nothing good comes from arguing with anyone on Facebook especially a skid. I'd delete the comment you made and the one the skid made, possibly the whole thing. I don't engage in arguments for the world to see. I even deleted and blocked my youngest skid for him doing this and having his mother join (she's also blocked). It may show the skid is being a jerk but it also shows you stooping to a kids level.

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

Submitted by dispiritedstepm... on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 8:35am

thanks, and yeah sd is the type that it will fly right over her head. but i got to her, i think, and thats what i wanted to do. eye for an eye. she needs to learn that u cant treat poeple like shit, snub them, make them feel unwelcomed, and expect them to include u in their life after a while.

anabihibik's picture

Submitted by anabihibik on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:37pm

I'm all for boundaries and letting kids know when they have crossed the line, but the "eye for an eye" thing with a kid is not going to end well. I think these kinds of behaviors are just going to escalate hers.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 7:04pm

I think it is ok to call her out on it once, but then I would block her so it doesn't continue back and forth.

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

Submitted by dispiritedstepm... on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 8:02pm

i deleted the status before she could respond again. i agree it may not have been the best approach to putting her in her place, but as my dad said "she needs to know what it feels like to be snubbed, as she has done that for the last 8yrs to all of us, even after all the birthday presents, christmas gifts, the inclusion with everything the other real grandbabies wer einvolved in...."

sd has always made it clear she doesnt want to be part of my family. but family members STILL include her, because thats just how they are.

Sophie's picture

Submitted by Sophie on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:03am

I have to admit I have done the same thing with my bf's daughter. She started the same crap on fb. I made the mistake of stooping to her level.(Just hurt me bc of all I and my fam had done for her.) But I eventually deleted and blocked her from mine. And it stopped. Later on I unblocked her and accepted her again only if she wouldn't put foolishness on fb. And again it stopped for a while and then was back to the same ole same ole crap. So, as bad as I hate to admit this...I completely stopped any contact with her. I was sooo tired of the disrespect, back talking, and simply just being unappreciated and walked on. I told my bf that if she couldn't respect me in MY OWN house ( he lives with me and doesn't help me at all financially) she was NOT welcome back in my house. He just couldn't understand why I'd banned her. He said she's a kid..look over it. But thats all fine and good for him as he was not the one dealing with her while she was here. He said just bust her ass and make her respect you.(We are not married and I just don't feel its my place to physically discipline her. Nor have I ever.)It was left to me to get homework, meals baths and other things while he was working. And anytime I made her do something she didn't like (make her bed, pick up her clothes, etc) she'd go tell grandma that I was a basically a mean person... hmmm I just have sooo much resentment toward this kid and feel bad cuz I do but dang..... I'm sure as Hell not gonna let an 11yr kid run over me in MY own house. And now theres just such a feeling I have of just not being able to stomach her or even knowing that I'm gonna have to be around her make my blood pressure rise. (I know I've gotten off topic here but I just found this site tonight and I sooooo needed to vent and I'm sooo freaking glad I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.)
Back on topic...I've dished my fair share back to bf's daughter and she def doesn't like it at all when its put back to her and sees what its like to be treated that way...Sometimes they DO need a taste of their own medicine...and so does GRANDMA for allowing it!!

For the future's picture

Submitted by For the future on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 8:12am

I'd tell her you are part of the family whether she likes it or not, so she needs to accept it and behave like a young adult, because her attitude will not change it or she can continue to push people away from her and exclude herself, her choice, as respect is a two-way street. Definitely wouldn't argue on FB, though.

A tactic I'd go for is to make something really yummy for other kids, maybe make a big deal of it....maybe making party food/treats and watching a cool DVD together, when she pouts and asks why she is not enjoying it too, tell her if she thinks she can treat you the way she does and expect you to spoil her, she can think again. Maybe she will realise her behaviour caused her exclusion and ultimately her poor behaviour made her miss out. Tell her if she wants to have a think about her treatment of you and apologise, then you're sure you could organise a special treat just for both of you. Let her know if she can adjust her attitude, life will get much better all round, her choice.

Good luck

bestwife's picture

Submitted by bestwife on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 3:50pm

My FB family listing is HUGE. I have my cousins (about 20) and their kids plus all the usuals EXCEPT SSs.

Homeless pathetic SSs have no computer access and probably don't even know how to spell Facebook. I never once considered listing them.

I don't want anyone to know they are remotely associated with me. When they are in jail they always get people to call and beg for us to pay their fines, etc. We will get 10 phone calls about how it is just to borrow $300 for a week or two. No let their butts sit in jail.