As much as it sucks dealing with, it's a lot better now that DH and others are seeing SD13 for real and not the way she was portraying herself with the things she was saying to them about me. Now they see that I'm not a monster bitch and that she's saying the same things about THEM to other adults too! She is triangulating adults against each other and vampiring pity and sympathy.

She wants me to:
-put her makeup on for her.
-make all her meals, including cereal or she will fake not knowing how.
-clean her room, all her laundry, make her bed, change her sheets, etc.
-tuck her in at night reading her a baby book story like when she was in elementary school.
-no chores unless someone is over and she offers and makes sure they see her.
-I'm not allowed to correct her on anything or question her motives about anything.
-I cannot tell her no for anything; if she's eating her SIXTH handful of reece cups, I am not supposed to say stop.

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be to completely stop watching and parenting her. I am giving it my all, though.

She's now saying she is going to live here and go to college and I can take care of her. I smile and say YAY, but she going to be OUT at 18.

I have five years of watching my back and my baby very close to protect from her. DH said he is not going to be alone in her room with her and when she asked him (she's 13) to lay in her bed and tuck her in and read her the Dr. Seuss book, he won't do it unless he's sitting at the end of the bed and I'm in the room with him since she's making allegations against people when she gets mad at them.

Five years, I won't react to anything ever again because now I KNOW! She will increase the intensity of what she says about people and she even increases how much is about ME vs about them just being mean to her. In fact, this last time, I wasn't falling for it and just said "aw I'm sorry poor darling" sincerely and didn't get emotional or offended and said "That's their opinion" and she escalated and escalated hollaring at me that they had no right to say things about me then she said "they trashed your dead dog and said he was stupid and should have died anyways and told me you love a dead dog more than me and made me cry all night"... pathological.

Now we know, however. I'm also going to be better able to handle her horrid stuff because I realize she's got this diagnosis problem and it isn't just being a nasty little girl.

I'm trying to just say that I'll smile, I'll say "poor poor little dear", and I'll say "awwwwww" a lot and I won't do anything else. It is not easy.