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Mommy Doesn't Like You

caya506's picture

Submitted by caya506 on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 10:23pm

While putting FSS to bed tonight he looks at me and says "you don't like mommy?" I tell him that yes I like his mommy ( :sick: threw up in my mouth a little having to say that!). He then says to me, "mommy says she doesn't like you". I didn't really know what to say to that, how do you try and explain something like that to a 3 yr. old? So I just kinda changed the subject, and finished tucking him in. Why can't she understand that what she's doing by saying these kinds of things to him is just going to hurt SS in the end? I don't like the woman at all, but I am not about to bad mouth her to her son or even say to him that I don't like her. I just don't get it.

Comments

MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 10:25pm

You handled that very well. It is sad and bewildering that some women put their children in the middle of their issues like that and we cant begin to understand how they rationalize it....all I can say is continue to be a positive influence in his life and let her set herself up to be the "bad guy". It may take awhile but he will see it when he is older and appreciate you more for all you did for him and put up with for him. Smile

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 10:37pm

Keep dealing with these instances in the same way until he is old enough to form his own opinion of his mother. He will learn soon enough if she is the petty vindictive wast of skin she appears to be.

My own SS-17 knows full well that his SpermIdiot is a waste of skin. We don't bad mouth BioDad in our home (when SS is around). It took many years but our son (my SS) came to his own conclusions about his BioDad.

When he brings up BioDad and how he (my SS) and his three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs have no use or respect for their "father" I will give my opinion on the issue that SS brings up but keep my opinion focused only on the facts of the situation. I reserve the color commentary for 1:1 discussions with my wife or when I am venting here on Stalk.

I even will remind my son (SS) that he needs to use respectful wording when he is talking about BioDad. Though I do occasionally crack a laugh when my SS uses particularly amusing wording when venting about the worthless POS who spawned him.

Best regards.

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 10:52pm

After returning from a day with his mother last week, ss5 asked me "have mommy X and you ever met, iwishyouwould?" I said "yes...." and began to get VERY nervous about where this was going. ss said "Are you and mommy X friends?" I said "yes, of course we are! Mommy X is very nice, isnt she?" (and yes, i did suppress the need to vomit and i bit my tongue - hard.) Silence from kiddo. More silence. Longer silence followed by an "ummm...hmmm". Totally out of the blue. Im thinking 'mommy X' said something to kiddo along the lines of what your BM said to your kiddo and my unexpected response stunned the poor child into silence. I have never -ever- and will never - ever- say anything derragotory about BabyMomma to kiddo. I do not like the girl. I have no respect for her what so ever. She has said horrible things about me to ss5. But I simply will not go there. I do not care enough about the girl to go there. And to make myself feel better about telling ss how absolutely wonderful she is when she has just finished cursing out H, I remind myself that by always being nice, in my kiddo's eyes, I am the good guy. And kiddo always wants the good guys to win. Why BabyMomma even talks about me, ia totally beyond me. I will never fathom it. We have no contact. BM and H had a 13 month dating relationship that ended when ss was 1 month old- 3 months before conception and 1 month after. I came into the picture when he was 1 and a half. Do not let it bother you. What I have discovered after many years of heavy emotions, anger, irritation, disgust etc. is that its just not my F'n problem if she obsesses over me and decided before she had ever met me, talked to me, or knew anything about me that she loathed me, is jealous of me, and hates my existence. Personally, at this point, I take it as a compliment and find it highly amusing that she devotes so much emotional energy to little ol' me. LOL Smile

Last-Wife's picture

Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 1:52pm

i like the suggestion sammy made about bringing the name of a child the skid doesn't like into it... "Well, you know you don't get along with X, but you always need to be nice to her anyway..."

I stayed out of it when my skids would try to draw me into those converstaions. As a new stepmom, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her close and allowing her to school events and birthday parties and such. They saw that we could get along. They saw her be nice to me in public, but then listened to her trash talk me privately. They saw me be nice, and include her and NEVER heard me say a bad thing about her...

They listened. They saw.

They know who the real "mom" is... They know which woman raised them to have good manners and how to treat others.

Just the other day, Princess 18, asked me how I kept my cool all those years. "You have a terrible temper," she said. "How did you not just rip out Loca Grande's throat?'

I told my SD the truth. "Because I loved you. I never wanted to hurt you. I always worked hard to do the right thing for you..."