FMIl and Princess SD10
I have been told by fdh that out of 9 grandchildren fsd10 is the favorite. Ok, fine, we don't have bio kids, I really don't care. However, it grates my very last nerve when FMIL comes over and holds fsd10 like a baby and rubs her hair and WILL NOT SHUT UP going on and on about her the whole time she is there. (Meanwhile bs13 and fss5 play the wii, throw the football,having a great time, not bothering anyone until the "precious princess" comes in and they don't want to play with her. Thats when all hell breaks loose. They don't want to play with her becuase she wines and cries and acts like a total BRAT!!!!) So then its time to cuddle up in fmil's lap and act like the saddest most pitiful thing. I expressed my concern to fdh and he said that she is just trying to fit in and doesn't have anyone to play with. ( She has 2 kids to play with but she can't get along with them !!!!) Even after they are gone, all fmil talks about is fsd10. I complained to fdh and he said that I was just jealous of another female. Um, no. First of all, she has 8 other grandchildren and I think its pretty crappy that she doesn't give them the same amount of concern to each, secondly, I don't constantly talk about my bs13 and I don't want to hear my friends or co-workers constantly talk about their kids, because it is ANNOYING!!! People don't mind hearing brief, general information about other people's kids but constantly talking about them is too much! I have my own son, a job, a life, interests outside of EOW skids and I don't appreciate her not asking me about those things. How can I gently, politly get her to see that fsd10 is not my only interest in life and I don't care to center every single conversation around her?
My MIL has been the same way.
My MIL has been the same way. SS18 should be the focus of everyone's attention. Could care less about DHs & my BS2.
Hell, just recently I took a picture of BS2 and put it in a frame and took it to her. Every grandkid has pictures all over her mantle, etc - not BS2. She makes excuses everytime. So, she now has a picture.
SS18 has a 1/2 brother who is older (DH is not the father) - MIL even has pictures of him up from when he was a kid and always talks about him too.
Some people just don't get it.
No, people are not that way
No, people are not that way Lo. I mean most people don't mind someone showing their kids' photos and will even smile and be friendly if you bring the kid to visit work but No One is just waiting and hoping that someone will bring their grandkid to work. Wish my fmil did work, maybe she would have something else to obsess over! LOL
My boyfriend's mother
My boyfriend's mother believes she has a "special relationship" with one or two of her grandkids... one that no one else would never understand. The thing is that her grandkids don't feel this way about her (they are 17 and older) even though they love her. This preferential treatment is sociopathy stuff.
She's also got a special connection to my boyfriend's ex wife. No one will ever be as special as her. Once she said, "Maybe we can grow to love [me] as much as we love [the ex]."
Don't hold your breath.
I've come to feel lucky she hasn't chosen me to have a "special connection" with.
Right! Like I'm just waiting
Right! Like I'm just waiting around for MIL and FIL to "grow to love me." They lost their chance at that years ago.
You're right. The ex's "connection" to the family comes with some serious strings. The most glaring one is that she hasn't moved on with her life at all. No man in her life is ever going to want to hear "I'm going on vacation with my ex husband's family."
Ok...
Thanks for the word about
Thanks for the word about strings.
In the past I have allowed his family to make me feel bad because I wasn't "accepted," or "his real wife."
I know in my heart not to give these people the time of day. It would be great to have a family who supported us as a couple. But I've got people in my life who love me. Why should I waste my time on these bastards when I've got true friends who care about me and would never judge me?
No thanks, strings. I guarantee his ex is a lot worse off than I am, for all of the "support" they give her.
"Maybe we can grow to love
"Maybe we can grow to love [me] as much as we love [the ex]."
******
My MIL actually used to call me by the Ex's name, especially when SS18 was with us. I guess this was their special little bond. "DH and Ex, I mean 1Life". I started wearing a nametag at family gatherings. The one that finally got her to stop said "Hello...my name is 1Life...not money hungry self centered, willing to destroy my children...Ex....Yes, 1Life, don't forget it again MIL, you bitch"
Typed up in teany tiny print and when she was squinting to look at it - she looked up over her glasses with lightening in her eyes. I frankly told her - keep it up you will never see me, DH, or BS2 again.
Sometimes it seams my MIL won't let go of the past more than my DH, whose past it is. It is psycho.
Love the name tag! MIL has
Love the name tag! MIL has actually brought old photos of my boyfriend and his ex to a family gathering (a funeral, no less) and passed them around for everyone to see. At the time (a few years ago), I was shocked and hurt... but I think if she did that now I would have something to say about it.
The whole obsession with his ex wife is just stupid. It alienates me and worse yet, it alienates her son. He wants nothing to do with her.
She hasn't gone so far as to call me her name, but I wouldn't put it past her. Psycho.
I try to act disinterested or
I try to act disinterested or bring up another topic of conversation but that just makes her talk more!!!
Try changing the subject
Try changing the subject with.....yes, MIL, I know skids shit ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, but.....
Wouldn't that be fun?
I have a MIL just like this!!
I have a MIL just like this!! Princess SD14 is an Angel!! My BD12 is a "disresepectful brat"......so MIL Says! Ya, OKAY!! I can count all the times BD has been grounded in the past year on my ONE hand; lets see SD would need Both hands, feet and maybe more!!
My favorite part is when I go to her about SD seeking some sort of advice; MIL will change the subject about how ingnorant my BD is!! I found it best to NOT talk about SD with her at all!! If she brings her up I do a quick little yep........and that's it; or I'll just leave the room!! DH knows that his mom is like this with SD; thank god!! sadly DH admits that they are the problem SD is like this now!! Too late!!
Oh I hear ya! When I ask for
Oh I hear ya! When I ask for advice about bs13 she somehow turns it around to how wonderful princess is and how bad bs is.
My BS16 was this for all of
My BS16 was this for all of his grandparents. Made it so hard to get them all to stop indulging him. I returned things and told them I was doing it. We battled over toys and clothes all the time. It was a constant battle that just escalated when my DH and my son passed away. They spoiled him rotten. I had to be the one to say no all the time. It worked well, but he is 16 now and his expenses have jumped up and he just asks for what he wants now and knows one of his grandparents will do it for him. The funny thing is he is 16 and no longer really wants to do things with his grandparents.
He is a good kid despite the spoiling and always says thanks and is grateful, but I had to push that every single time. Kids can be spolied by their grandparents and still turn out okay as long as their parents are the voice of reason.
I still nag him about thank you notes for every single thing he receives. We are still trying to get through the many thank yous from his Eagle Ceremony over the summer. But, if he does a few a week, I am fine. But, he will get them done....As parents it is our job to teach them gratitude.