Flat out ignore BM in public
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Does anyone else do this?
I treat BM like she is invisible.
Walk right up to SD and sure down to talk to her with BM on the other side, like she isn't even there. She makes a comment along our conversation line and its like abreeze blew (what was that?)
I don't acknowledge her our look at her....
Her presence does not even effect my conversations or seeing the kids.
And I really like it that she knows she doesn't mean shit to me.
I think it is vital to at
I think it is vital to at least be civil or courteous whenever you and BM are in front of the child. Children can feel the tense atmosphere.
I AGREE, SOMETIMES IT FEELS
I AGREE, SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON (sORRY ABOUT THE CAPS!)
I ignore BM on my time and my
I ignore BM on my time and my & DH's time, but in front of SD I say hi, act pleasant to BM and its much more fun because she SQUIRMS and is totally uncomfortable that I'm not a scathing bitch to her like she tells SD I am
So it puts it out there to SD that her mom is full of it and says I do stuff to her that I don't. She has SD brainwashed that DH & I are awful to BM, that we live just to make her life miserable but all SD sees is a pleasant, courteous person saying hi to her mom 
I ignore her and SDs 6&8 if I
I ignore her and SDs 6&8 if I run into them. The girls get in trouble (hit, yelled or cussed at) if they speak to me when they are with their mother. If I see them on the subway, bus or walking down the street, I just walk by them.
When I tell DF I ran into them, he gets angry about me ignoring the kids. Ignoring them is better than them getting hit for speaking.
I would feel hurt when we ran
I would feel hurt when we ran into BM and the skids when they were little and the skids would ignore my DH and myself like we were not even there, but then if we saw them the next day for visitation they would be all over me and my DH. I would complain some to DH and cry at times that it hurt my feelings.
Finally, my DH brought it up to them and told them it hurt our feelings and why didn't they atleast wave or something. I will never forget the middle SD yelling back at him and saying she hits us in the face or squeezes my face tight daddy. I was shocked that the BM would do such a thing and from that day forward we would just ignore them as well. Was so sad and why I believe we don't have a relationship with them, the BM must nip in there ear about us constantly.
Oh believe me the children
Oh believe me the children have felt the tenseness when in the kids presence she has called my cell phone and left screaming cursing voicemails on my phone,....
And with all the words the kids repeat that she says about me,... They know,...
I was meaning I don't let her stop me from seeing the kids in public , hugging them talking to them, and I don't let her interfere...
I would treat her just as I
I would treat her just as I would a piece of shit on the sidewalk. Step around it or over it and continue on my way.
If she treated you mean in
If she treated you mean in the past I get it.I don't feel I have to do anything like that- BM was always ok with me .I also am very polite to exhb gf- also a nice person.In general I believe we should all try to behave like adults, but if someone would have treated me bad I would have ignored that person, too.
I have wondered if she is
I have wondered if she is scared of me.
Once I saw her driving, I was on my way home from work (she didn't yet know I worked at this location)
It is at least a 45min drive From Her Work And Home...
We pass each other on the street going opposite directions and I think, "that looks like BM car" and I see the figure behind the wheel duck and cover their face, "yep! Thats BM!"
I told FDH what I saw and his exact words were, "you probably intimidate her, AND/OR she is cheating on this boyfriend too and didn't want you witness to her being 45min away from where she is supposed to be"
Funny as hell I think! OMG that car is driving itself!
This is a very legit
This is a very legit possibility. My DH says his ex is terrified of me when I show up with him to pick up SD for visits. We think its because she's forced to see his life, his happiness and how none of that has anything to do with her and she's very narcissistic it also has to do with her huge insecurity of SD growing an attachment to me and bonding with me. We're pretty confident BM tells things to SD like how awful DH is to her, how he makes her life so miserable and she's struggling so hard and blah blah blah so SD being the loyal child she is would do anything to prevent her mom from being sad/mad. Self preservation right? So she follows suit accordingly.
When BM is forced to be in the same room as DH & I she noticeably squirms and is uncomfortable. She doesn't like seeing me. When I don't go with DH to pick up SD then BM is all syrupy and sweet as pie to DH, probably in hopes to win some power of him and keep that "under my thumb role" she used for years when SD was younger.
Last weekend DH drove 4 hours to attend a function SD was in as a surprise to her because originally he was supposed to work OT and couldn't go. He said when BM noticed him she looked noticeably startled and made every effort possible to avoid him at all costs.
In the beginning, I tried to
In the beginning, I tried to be nice, saying "hello" whenever we were in the same vicinity of each other, blah blah blah.
But after a while, I got really really tired of the "look" (you know, the head to toe look with a sneer and a shake of the head as she turns away?) and it all came to a head when she showed up at my house one day (conveniently, when DH wasn't there) and told my daughter to come in the house and tell me to come outside, she needed to talk to me. Instead of walking out the front door, I came out of the garage door just in time to hear her say to my SK's, "Who does she think she is keeping me waiting, she needs to get her fat ass out here NOW."
After that, I completely shut down. I have no need to speak with her, anything that needs to be handled can be done between her and DH. If we are in the same place at the same time, she will not approach me, nor I her. I don't engage her in even the politest of conversations. If she approaches DH while he's standing beside me, I will act as though she's not standing there and I certainly do not listen (nor care) what she has to say.
We used to half smile and say
We used to half smile and say 'hi'.
Now, since she went ghetto and did something so insane I had to phone the police, it would be ignore.
She, however, may turn into a screaming raging hot mess. I also wouldn't put it past her at this point to potentially actually assault me...
I ignore the BM too! She
I ignore the BM too! She hates it. She always brings up to my DH that I am mean to her. I never am mean, I just do not acknowledge her and it bothers her to no end. I refuse to be nice to her in public when she rips me to shredds in private over email, text and phone conversations with my DH. She is lower than low in my book and does not get my attention. My skids know that she does not like me and they are a little shy when she is around but otherwise me and the skids get along great! So I guess to keep my sanity, I will keep ignoring her.
You go girl! Stand your ground. To me this is taking the high road compared to how she treats me.
I do the same thing. I have
I do the same thing. I have nothing to say to her, and she has nothing to say to me. Our face to face encounters are pretty limited, so skids don't really know any different. Besides, SHE'S the one who told the skids all about how me and DH broke her heart blah blah blah .. so they know (from her) that we're not friends.
She calls the house to talk the skids, I make them answer it directly. Her number is blocked in my cell. The only communication I see with her is DH's emails when he forwards them to me, and that's strictly related to custody issues (not her own drama).