My family is local.  My DH's is across the country.  It is just his sister, BIL and 2 adult nephews that that he is close to.   We have gone twice so far to visit his family for both nephews' college gradation (which we always extend into a mini-vacation as well when out there).  I always pay for half these trips to cover myself, DH, and 2 teen stepsons.   I told DH next time it's their turn to visit us.  We have to pay for dog boarding as well when we travel to see them.  Now one of his nephews is getting married next year and expects us to all go out for a THIRD trip for his family.  My family (elderly but active parents), and brother and his family want to go on a family vacation next year.  I can only afford one trip.  My parents aren't getting any younger and we have done no fun trips with them as we have done with DH's family.  I understand this is a wedding for his nephew, but there always seems to be an important celebration for his family they want us to attend (I would have skipped the graduation trips for the wedding if we had any idea of the upcoming engagement).

I will go with my family no matter what as I feel it is unfair to only make trips for DH family (as I said they were family trips that were also mini-vacations each time).  But I also don't feel it's right for DH to only take fun trips for his family and not mine.  My DH sees where I am coming from and is thinking my family vacation should be the one trip next year since that is all we can afford.   My concern is resentment from stepsons and his family about not going to nephew'as wedding.  I'm not sure they will rationalize our budget and being fair to both families, not just theirs (since my family is local and easier to visit).  Also, I missed my best friend's wedding as I had booked one of the graduation trips first, then found out my friend's wedding date was during that trip and sadly missed it.   Is there a way to explain keep his family's resentment down, especially both teen SS?