Don't want SD around when I bring home baby. He doesn't understand!
I think I must have the most oblivious SO in the world. I'm being induced in a week and a half. I have full custody of my daughter but went ahead and mad plans for her to visit her Grandparents the first weekend I'm home with the baby. I didn't realize it was his weekend with his nightmare child. She's a bossy mean nasty brat. Her mom favored her over all her other kids so she's a nightmare. I recently got him to change the schedule so she's only home when he is. I caught her stealing last week and she's only 8, I now refuse to care for her. I feel bad for him because I keep having to ask for space but I can't stand her around on a good day. I think with a new baby and being tired it's going to be too much. He keeps saying it's going to be fine. I really don't want her here. Honestly she has sociopathic traits and had killed three kittens she's creepy and acts like a five year old. Her face makes me cranky. I know if I push he's just going to be mad. She's the only reason we ever fight or argue it's so annoying. I don't understand why if I made plans for my daughter to go somewhere he can't just give one weekend and realize he has another child to think about not just the poorly disciplined monster he created.
She could have killed 3
She could have killed 3 newborn kittens at one time.
Exactly. They could've had a
Exactly. They could've had a litter of kittens in the home. This little girls not gonna be too happy with the cute little baby in the house. I'd be scared for my baby around this kid. And not just the first week but the many months and years to come.
Here kitty kitty
Here kitty kitty Tommar.....here kitty kitty.
No her moms broke. She's just
No her moms broke. She's just an idiot who has no concept that anyone exists besides her and then bestowed it upon her spawn. She has three other kids she could care less about. She's actually pissed I won't watch her little spawn of Satan.
I know I've had so many
I know I've had so many fights with him over it. Her face literally pisses me off. I am the first person who ever put this kid in her place. I literally screamed at her she is the deal breaker in this relationship. My kid wouldn't hurt a fly it's like two different worlds. He is honestly too nice it's strange he brought this nightmare into the world.
Why would you have a kid with
Why would you have a kid with this man???? Regardless of how awful mom may be, he has had a hand in raising her as well.
Oh boy, a sociopath in the
Oh boy, a sociopath in the making and a newborn. After the kittens, I would not have her near my child or myself. And more details needed about the kittens. Who is giving them to her?
Flat out tell DH to make other arrangements for SD that weekend.
Her mom is getting her the
Her mom is getting her the kittens. I have one grown cat that she is not allowed near. I didn't know how bad she was until I was already involved. Basically any thing that is alive and mine doesn stay here when she's here. I went to school for psychology and I'm at a loss. Her mom lets her do anything her dad just started punishments . I put her in her place because she's a nightmare I can't stand her vacant look and disrespect.
I saw that further up. I
I saw that further up. I would report the mother for animal cruelty.
Since you have a psych background and know what SD is capable of doing, how are you going to protect your baby? I'm not criticizing, just want to know if you have a concrete plan.
I caught my SO's 6 year old
I caught my SO's 6 year old son trying to kick my cats last Spring. Turned our backs for half a second and he was out on the front porch kicking and they were scattering trying to get away from him. One of the cats was pregnant at the time. I impulsively ran outside immediately and gave him a good hard swat on his ass and made him sit in a time out for the next couple of hours. I had never been so angry. He had never seen me so angry. I would normally never have done such a thing, though I did have permission from both my boyfriend and BM that if i ever felt the need to "bust his butt" then I can, but I never wanted to ever actually do that. Still don't regret it though. Needless to say, it never happened again. He's still a shit though. He got in big trouble at BM's house for trying to do the same thing. He hasn't done it since, that I'm aware of.
Had he done any serious harm to any of my cats, I would have kicked them both the fuck out of my house that day and never looked back.
No I'm planning to leave. He
No I'm planning to leave. He has had time to straighten her out. Believe me I'd rather work two jobs than deal with this. I didn't know she was going to be like this I would never have stayed. I unfortunately have to find a job. I have enough saved to leave but he changed it to every other weekend and now I'm not home when she's here. It makes my life harder. I have an exit plan believe me. I'm sending out my resume already. He has to realize the severity of the situation. Believe me she's never around my kids without me. She's definitely off I don't understand how an 8 year old gets away with this shit. I don't trust her never will she is in therapy who knows maybe it will help
If you leave, how will you
If you leave, how will you protect your baby from her on dad's time?
The problem is if she leaves
The problem is if she leaves he will likely get unsupervised visitation with the baby who will then be at SD's mercy, and OP won't be there to keep baby safe. I would stay in the relationship at all costs, but leave with baby whenever SD is over. It's the only guaranteed way you can make sure she has no access to your LO...
What happens when dad gets
What happens when dad gets fed up with the OP running away with the baby every time his kid is around and decides to end the relationship?
What countries don't have
What countries don't have extradition to the US? only half joking...
She killed three kittens?
She killed three kittens? Seriously? Yikes.
I wouldn't want a step kid around after giving birth. When I had my DD2, I lucked out - SD(then 5) didn't come for about 10 days after. I'm now pregnant again and I've made it clear to my husband that he needs to make other arrangements for SD around that time. She only comes EOWE so it shouldn't be a big deal to make sure he's got a way to send her back to BM's if I go into labour when she's with us. I've already made arrangements for our DD to be taken care of.
I think given that you have made arrangements for your own child to be away after you give birth, it's only fair that he should make arrangements for his child to be away. You're not asking anything of him that you aren't doing yourself already.
I don't plan on having my
I don't plan on having my children around her. This was something I never anticipated. She goes to therapy I don't involve myself in what goes on because I'm so sick of trying to deal with it. I can't get him to fully understand the severity of her issue. That's why I don't stay here when she's here. If I have to my daughter isn't. We're moving in a few months farther away. I go to school for social work so I know. This kid is just terrible. I would never let my kids around her.
You can keep your older kids
You can keep your older kids away from her, but not the baby. You made the choice to have a child with this man. Once you leave, he will get custody. You will not have a say in what goes on or who is around the child during his visitation.
I recommend crushed Ambien in
I recommend crushed Ambien in the little devil spawns chocolate milk.
Clever.
Clever.
Even better!
Even better!
Easy.....leave. make him
Easy.....leave. make him fight for visitation and do not agree to anything without the stipulation that visits only occur when the girl devil is not there.
When I met him I didn't
When I met him I didn't realize his kid was this bad. I didn't find out for awhile as she came around more and interacted with my daughter I began to notice something off with her. As time went on I found out I was expecting. We decided to move in together. Then she hurt the last kitten. She threw it because it scratched her. I was creeped out and told him that it's not normal for her to do that. I then found out it was the third kitten. Why on earth she had two more is beyond me. I realize it's his fault too. She has entered therapy but I still don't trust her. I never will. I don't tolerate any of her poor behavior and I have put her in her place many times. SO and I are also in counseling so people are aware of what happened. They think she can be helped, however protecting my two are my priority. I honestly can't get a read on that kid she's mean as a snake to other kids,bullies, doesn't share and in general has a surly demeanor. I spend the whole time she's here correcting her. She is really nice to adults and seems to manipulate them. She does however behave nicely at times because she knows I will send her on her way.
Ok, so she's nuts. I've got
Ok, so she's nuts.
I've got one who's nuts too. His mom is nuts. Together, they've let 3 guinea pigs die over there. One he dropped in a hot tub (why he was alone with a guinea pig in a hot tub at 5, you tell me). One BM forgot to feed. The third, "someone" accidentally left the cage open and was probably killed by a cat.
You've got a problem So do I.
SS10 took my son's water wings off when he was 3 and watched him sink and almost drown... When asked why, he said it was to "see if he could swim". I know that this is out of stupidity, not out of malice. This is not a mean boy at all, he's just severey ADHD and developmentally delayed.
I've made sure this SS is always in some kind of after school care, and never alone with my BS without me around. Our other kids also keep an eye on the situation.
But it's a bummer.
If you leave, you won't be able to protect your child from SD when your kid's visiting with daddy.
You might want to wait until this baby is old enough to fend for his/herself. Meanwhile, divide and conquer. Tell your DH you want these two children separated when SD is around. Different daycare and after school programs. On the weekends you and your kids go visit your mom or someone else. Or go to the mall, or the beach, doesn't matter where.
I know it's hard work, but I've been able to do it. We have 50% custody of our nut job.
It's a big problem.
You need a plan.
I agree with the others, go to a hotel or to a family member's house, or to a rental for a time after the birth. This will show DH you are very afraid and that you mean business. This kid is dangerous.
I pretty much do the same
I pretty much do the same thing. I keep my daughter as busy as possible. SO is upset I won't let him watch the baby he works second shift and I have her on the list for daycare. We both have problems and it's scary to see what a child is capable of. SD has ADHD too I think there is also a delay. Unfortunately her dad tends to not see it. I most likely have to stay until my child can defend herself.