Hi there,
I'm pretty new here, I have 3 step kids, Sk14 lives with us, she is awesome, wants hugs all the time and is fun to be around. Sk12 is awesome also, spoiled (not her fault) and can be a tad stroppy, we have had our run ins, all is forgiven and forgotten over time. Then there is Sk18, who can be the worlds biggest pain in the butt. I put it down to him being 14 when his dad and I hooked up (the older of the bunch) and not really knowing how to deal with his dad's happiness. Although he can be a shit, I would still pick him up from a party, drive him home for the pub, or basically help him out if he needed it. What is your relationship like with your Sk? How long have you known them? Mine is one where I am the friend, I can be the disciplinary when I need to be, but i'd rather have fun with them, and let their dad be a dad. They already have a mum. And if she is only 11, and you plan on staying around, you are the adult, and you have to make the effort, especially if you, your partner and this little girl want to have a happy life. What about her exactly annoys you?

I pretty much disliked SD15 from the age of 10 (when I married DH) until mid-12 or so. Then she quit being a BM-clone, got over the selfish tween bit, and started thinking for herself. She kind of grew on me.

Now, I do love her, although I REALLY don't approve of some of her choices. It is what it is though, and we'll muddle through somehow.

Another person on st said it best, she can be sitting in a empty room, in the middle of the floor, no toys, not making a sound.....and she would still annoy me! That about sums up my sd's.
I've struggled with even liking her. Let alone love her. My dh has noticed, and commented on it. I feel horrid about it. How can I have so much love for this man, but, not his kids? Unfortunately, I don't have the answer.
I tell myself every visit, be nice to her you've only got two days of it....it doesn't work. Five minutes into the ride home and I'm ready to pull over and leave her on the side of the road(I NEVER would, just a daydream). Her voice is like nails on a chalk board to me. So I turn the radio up as loud as it will go, and tune her out! I also stay in my room as much as I can while their here.
Sorry I'm not much help. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. That was the worst for me. Thinking I was the only Sm who didn't like, let alone love her skids. I used to tell my mom, "I'm going straight to hell, and I can't help it!"

I don't dislike any of my SKs.

They all do normal kid stuff. The same stuff my son did. The girls are spoiled, but respectful and have good manners.

I hate 1 of the BMs but the kids are fine.

Them skids of mine are selfish disrespectful obese horrible reminders of a train wreck marriage....they want me dead...or out of their fathers life....

They are the bms children. Absolutely no resemblance no values or belefs nnothing of their father whatsoever.....

Juvenile delinquent attitudes.....I refuse to have them anywhere near me...or my children.....shld that mean I not have my soulmate grow old with me in years to come ....who knows....at this point he is on my side.....

I don't love mine and they annoy me often but I do what I need to do for them and try to be loving.

I don't love or even like my sd...i have disengaged recently and it works for me...i'm moving towards indefference instead of great dislike and anger.

And in my case she IS bm's daughter, in EVERY way, physical resemblance, personality resemblance, taste in life (yuck)...all of it, bullying, nasty agressive....with NO dna-resemblance in anything to bf...why WOULD i like her then?

I don't love him...but I've only lived with him for 2 months..that takes time. I do have feelings of love towards him...because he is a piece of my dh..and he's a child. I feel lovingly towards my biokids friends...my friend's children...that comes naturally to me. Now...ss can be very disrespectful of me...and it's causing a strain on our newly forming relationship..so "love" is probably going to be a long term goal with those ups and downs.

I like my skids well enough. They are 4 and 5 a boy and a girl... honestly though, I do not like children as a whole. Never have, fear I never will. I ahev non of my own, and no desires too. I look at my skids as something that I have to put up with for my husbands sake.

Oh geez - I struggle with this every day. I am a mother. I am a special ed teacher. I love the kids I work with. My SD13 is not that horrible. She is annoying as all hell. She is clumsy. She is gawky. She has to have the last word and always be right. She argues with adults. She is so immature. She is so hungry for attention and I know that this is the cause of some of her behaviors. And the more attention she seeks from me the less I feel able to give it.

And I try really hard to at least like her. I hate to admit it, but loving her I think is out of my reach. And most days I feel lucky just be be cordial to her. Most days, I can't even look at her when she is around. I feel like it is so wrong of me to feel this way. It is irrational. And yet here I am.

And to be honest, if she was a kid in one of my classes, I would find her as annoying as hell. We have very conflicting personalities.

So no, to answer your question, I do not like my SD. And I feel really horrible about it. But I am realizing that this is a normal state of being for step parents.

No I dont like or love my ss. I used to love him for many years. I met him right before he turned 2 and engaged in a lot of caregiving so bonded to him quite easily although even at that age he was a bit "odd". He seemed ok with me until about age 6 when quite frankly he just started treating me like shite. I never would have thougth a 6 year old could treat an adult that way-but yes, it's possible. After being yelled at daily, defied and disrespected constantly, stolen from, my kids having their lips busted, noses bloodied, and being choked and threatened I fell out of love with him. This process took years though-by 10 it was pretty much solidified.

He's 13 now. My dh knows I have NO love for ss and dont like being around him. He also gets why. He doesnt get mad at me for it. He tries to get me to be around ss as a favor to him-which I have at times, but usually with poor results.

I was able to handle any sort of annoying behavior, I had no jealousy issues of bm, he did not remind me of bm, I did not resent him in any way until he spent years just crapping on me and my kids. Eventually that behavior does end up with a result.

I agree w/the comment about how they could be sitting in the middle of the room doing nothing and they'd drive me nuts.

I like all 5 of my skids. They are all genuinely nice & respectful. My two oldest are SD27 and SS25. It's nice to see them making their own lives and experiencing success. I'm attached to them and I guess in some form I love them. I've been in their lives for 18 years.

My other 3 skids and I have only been each other's lives a couple of years and they are younger. I would say I'm attached to them but not that I love them. FDH throws the word around as if there's a love switch I can trigger. Obviously, he wants me to love them and perhaps over time I will.

I like my oldest stepson a great deal. He is a thoughful, considerate, hard working, appreicative individual, as is his wife, and they are raising their kids to be likewise. We have always gotten along well, he has always been very kind to me and my children and I'm sure it wasn't always easy for him.

I am trying not to DESPISE my second stepson, trying very hard to see that the way he is (and the way his PUKE PIG wife is) is the fault of their parents.

The fact is, I might actually like him too if he had a mother with a soul and a father with a brain.

SD26, heck no.

SS28, yes I do like him and he reminds me a lot of my husband. We get along very well. That being said, if I never saw him again I certainly wouldn't weep over it.

I cant stand to be around SD7! Anyone that thinks its OK to act like a immature 2 year old ALL the time gets on my nerves and is embarrassing, especially in public. She never listens and I have to constantly repeat myself 100 times when I ask her to do something. I can go on and on and on.

Katie

I like SD13 and dislike SD10, in general. I don't love either of them.

I like and dislike them for the same reasons I like or dislike any other person. Personality, character, habits, behavior, and the way they treat me, my SO, other people and each other. I've said before on here that I don't see any reason why my reaction to them or my feelings for them should really be different than anyone else in my life. I like and dislike relatives, acquaintances and coworkers for the same reasons.

Love may come with time, but there would probably need to be some bonding experience that makes me turn that corner.

I love them in the sense that they are part of FH and I feel sorry for what their mother is putting them through. Her PAS is keeping them from truly enjoying their father. However, I do not like them at all. Their lack of parenting has allowed them to become very unpleasant people. I am afraid that only the serious hard knocks of life are going to change them and they will certainly experience those hard knocks as the rest of the world will not indulge them as they have been bred to expect. What I am not sure about is whether that will make them wake up and be good people or if it will make them bitter and angry because the world was not like they thought it would be. Only time will tell.