DH "scolded" me.
Yesterday I picked up Stink (SS16) and we were stopping at the store to get food for the weekend. A few weeks ago he said he would not becoming with us in November because of school work---THANK GOD. I asked him yesterday if he was still not going with us. He put his head down, opened his mouth , did that thing with his lower lip (which makes the drool pour out), and topped it off wth sticking his index finger on his jaw and twisting it----kinda like what Shirley Temple does. I frigging HATE that, he has done for years, its not cute and I get the urge to break his F’ing finger. Then he let out a few of his quacks. Channeling my inner Judge Judy…I said QUACK is not answer.!!! He said “ I have to think about it some more.” I said this in yes or no right now…no more thinking. He quacked a few times more. I just said two quacks must mean no.
DH came home and the whispering started…the past few weeks he has been whispering to DH and I keep on hearing HER and SHE. Whatever--I don’t care DH knows I have had it up to my eyeballs with the kid and BM not doing her “job” and taking the kid off my hands every week…..like CO’ed.
Since Stink returned from BM’s he started talking in his near whisper voice. I have reprimanded him a few times recently about this. Well, last night he was doing again to DH, DH can’t hear him….Stink starts with the attitude, “forget it then” and of course this includes stomping and slamming things. DH starts begging him to tell him again…he does so in a whisper and the cycle repeats. I finally just said “ It is F’ing annoying when you whisper, How many F’ing times do we have to tell you this???” Well, the kid spoke at a normal level. DH chimes in with his no Red Pencil speech to the kid.
This kid is so indecisive…..ordering a drink is a frigging 10 minute ordeal. He has serious issues driving because of this, the driving school keeps on reporting it. Our frigging lives have been controlled by this….I am DONE.
This morning DH scolded me about being harsh with the boy. The boy is almost 17 years old. We keep on repeating this cycle…..DH just doesn’t get this method of begging and cowering to the kid is just aggravating the situation. Dh said “this is a part of his syndrome (Asperger’s), he can’t help it.” DH is in denial, he has never read anything about it or talked to the therapist. I DO. This is not the “syndrome” this is a by-product of crappy parenting and coddling the brat.
I love my DH more than anything but I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I do foresee this kid ever moving on to a productive life and I am done with is as it is.
I'm glad you answered. The
I'm glad you answered. The school doesn't offer anything.
His therapist is REALLY concerned with him. She has kids that made it, are away at college functioning well BUT the parents were engaged. DH....just doesn't want to face this. BM an untreated Bipolar that is out of the picture. Like the therapist keeps on saying I sound harsh but I do have the kid's best interst in mind. DH is just concerned with the kid getting a degree not with giving him the tools that will enable him to MAYBE be successful.
The therapist and I (I;m sure you figured it out too) know this has a bigger problem than Asperger's.....he is a by-product of bad parenting. DH has always wanted to be a friend not a parent, there is no accountability for bahaviors only excuses. The offical eval is new but for years DH said...."oh its his syndrome".....what syndrome? There has been excuse after excuse. I don't have my own children, NOTHING burns my butt more than when a parent uses an ailment as an excuse for bad parenting. Yes, this kid does have some quirks that are related to being an Aspie BUT there is a lot going on related to bad parenting.
The kid stinks, DH refuses to chat with him about showering. This whisper talking, it is ANNOYING....DH thinks if we scold him he will be afraid to talk. He has no chores, because he is not slave labor. He doesn't know how to do buttons or tie his shoes because mama thought it was easier to do it herself. He can only eat with his hand....I can go on and on.
The therapist has a hard time with him....he refuses to do the interactive exercises and she has a really hard time engaging him. He has no desire. Then there is the parent issue....she wants me to disengage. She thinks DH should be considering a group home rather than college at this point.
Not trying to be rude here,
Not trying to be rude here, but is this kid Special Ed or has he ever been tested? I have never met a 16 year old who quacks like a duck, walks around like an elephant scaring dogs, and does not have special needs???
btw, I hope you got his nutrishal poptarts at the store when you were there getting foode!
Sorry I just re-read and saw
Sorry I just re-read and saw that... guess I need to wake up!
It's so difficult for parents, steps, family members who have to deal with this. Educators, health care professionals etc. have years of education on how to deal with these behaviors, but everyone else just has to find their own way to deal with it with no training, no tools, and my heart goes out to you.. all kidding aside.. I can't imagine how you do it. You should definatley be nominated for Sainthood!
I gotz 3 boxes of them
I gotz 3 boxes of them nutrishal poptars....i think igotz him the good ones....straberry milkshake (froot and moo-moo)and booberry.
HAHAHAHA!
I can't stand it.
The school offers nothing, he tests out really high so his this just behavioral DH's insurance pays for treatment.
Your dh needs to read up on
Your dh needs to read up on Aspbergers!!!
Yes...he has done the doggie
Yes...he has done the doggie thing, kitty-cat thing and gerbil thing.
OH and he can stand on one foot.
I can't stand it....every time DH thinks its cute I want to smack him with a sledge hammer.
gerbil thing This made me
gerbil thing
This made me choke on my water!!!!
I wish you could send him off
I wish you could send him off to military school. I was adopted and raised in a family with mentally retarded sisters and brothers that acted more mature than this asshole. You DH really needs to start whipping him into shape. I know you have told us but where is the BM again?
Late bloomer my ass - this
Late bloomer my ass - this kid is an asshole and unfortunately Crayon so are yours - I hate that whole I am a child of divorce crap - when I see all that my SS gets and haves I want to be a child of divorce - lol
BM??? She basically never
BM??? She basically never sees the kid, she turned her house into the bank in Feb, moved out of the school district, got him an out of bounds, and is tooooo busy to see him. She can't follow the 5-2-5 as CO'ed because her shift starts at 5am....that's why we got him. She saw him in August and in October, right now we don't know when she will be seeing him...we know it won't be Thanksgiving or Christmas.
She is a worthless POS...she still ties his shoes and clips his toe nails for him.
I wish DH would send him off to Military school....but it will never happen.
The boys needs behavioral
The boys needs behavioral therapy, and it should have started LONG ago. He also needs BOTH parents involved. What does your DH honestly believe is going to happen with this boy if he won't bother to help you teach him how to properly behave? Where does he see his son three years from now? Or does he just expect for you to deal with him until you're old and grey?
It's too bad there isn't a way to get DH off of a work for a month. Let him spend the entire time looking out for Stink, while you're off traveling Europe. Let him see what it's really like with this boy 24/7, instead of just the snapshot he gets after work and on the weekends. Maybe then it would hit home and he'd finally fear for his son's future and make an attempt to do something about it.
In Jan he is going to a
In Jan he is going to a LifeSkills class, I arranged that even before the eval was done. The kid can't answer a phone, fill out paper work etc. This class they are going to learn how to use the phone, interviewing, light cooking etc. DH rolled his eyes when I told him.....he said I have to do the kid's paperwork no one can read what he writes. This guy doesn't see what the problem is.