Daily phone calls to BM???
Gosh...I haven't been on here for a while because everything has been sunshine and lollipops...no seriously it has! DH and I are having a baby girl in September (woot woot) and all has been great with Skids 7, 5, 3. Until recently. The crazy, bitter, insecure, spaziod the man I love chose to marry and procreate with years ago has struck again. Either she's off her meds or just bored, I can't tell but this dumb woman has no idea how her crazy affects these poor kids. Bottom line, she has convinced the oldest, SD7, that she needs to call her daily when she's with us. The poor girl gets upset if she forgets to ask to call (lord knows DH and I do not remind them of this weird new ritual). This has only gone on the past week (they are back with their BM tonight) but it is madness. On top of it, she speaks with all of the kids and leaves them ALL in tears by the end of the conversation. I don't konw what is discussed. I just know that they call at her request and the oldest feels very guilty when she doesn't. WTF. I would say that I hope they outgrow this but it's not them. She also gave her cell number to SD7's summer school teacher and asked her to let her call "whenever she wants". What?! It's a summer learning camp essentially; half days and mostly field trips.
Has anyone else had a BM do this with young children? How did you handle it? Did it EVER stop?
He didn't want to even let
He didn't want to even let them call (knowing how she is) but I reminded him that the CO requires each parent to allow communication with the other. We're probably going to court over other issues so this one will just get tacked on. Stinkin BM.
This is what we do. BM was
This is what we do. BM was using her court ordered calls to alienate. She'd ask leading questions and then twist the answers and pressure the kid into lying about us. And she would tell the kid how much she missed her and that she was crying because she was so sad. It was sick. Now all calls are monitored. Amazing how "normal" she can be when she realizes the call will end immediately if she says anything inappropriate.
Yeah I guess the CO doesn't
Yeah I guess the CO doesn't say we have to allow for private conversations...I like that idea, stepmomfromhell! She will probably lose interest when she can't comfortably say whatever she wants to them in secret...
BM used to call sd9 - when
BM used to call sd9 - when she was as young as 6 to cry to her about fights she had with her friends - or if one of her friends were moving...it was ridiculous - we'd hear sd say, "It's okay mommy - don't cry - your friend will be back - or mommy she is bad! She did mean things to you!" It was so crazy - we put a stop to it. The kid would end up in tears! This was a case of - "your kid needs a mom not a best friend - be her damn mom!" I guess that's when I finally stepped in!
Holy crap the same thing went
Holy crap the same thing went on over here! Except BM gave the skids a cell phone. SD called her every 10 minutes. If she forgot to call, she would be absolutely frantic about it! BM would also have both of them in tears by the end of the conversations. Also, if we even so much as attempted to discipline the skids, they would both clamor to call their mother -- who would then reiterate to them that they don't have to listen to us and that we are "abusing" them.
Yeah. It was as though BM was standing in the center of our living room the whole visit -- dictating everything we did, tried to do, and wanted to do. The skids were an absolute wreck over it. Consequently, the entire household was an absolute wreck over it.
We started just taking the cell phone away, hiding the house phone, and keeping our cell phones in our pockets. They were only "allowed" to call at night to tell their mother goodnight.
Holy crap that was a battle.
Fortunately, that particularly joyful behavior has stopped.
I feel ya girl. Good luck!
Great idea, monitoring, just
Great idea, monitoring, just put the phone on speaker. BM will figure it out quickly enough so don't even tell her. Oh better yet set up a beeper thats required when recording.
sd12's bm gave her a cell
sd12's bm gave her a cell phone at age 10 so that she could PAS her from afar while she was with us.
If she knew we were going to do something fun, she would text sd12 the entire time asking about what we were doing. Pretending that she really cared what we were doing when really all she was doing was butting in on our time.
My bf finally clued in on this and the behavior issues that were going on with sd12.
Now, she can use the phone when he says. She can't just sit down and start texting. When she's at our house, she puts her phone on the stand by the tv.
Really weird is that when we try to call or text sd12 when she is at her mom's house.. we can NEVER get through to her unless she's waiting for a return answer to a call where she was begging to change the visitation so she can hang out with a friend.
I'm not sure why ppl can't see thru these bm's. They make me sick with the way they weedle things around all the time and play victim.
Wow! SAME THING HERE! The
Wow! SAME THING HERE!
The phone BM gave the skids was, "Only for at Dads." Every time DH called to talk to them on that phone, it was shut off. They were, literally, only allowed to have it when they are at their father's house. Then, if he called her phone to talk to them, 75% of the time she never picked up or returned his call. Yet, the cell phone was so that SHE could have constant contact?
These BM's make no sense at all.
Is that circus music I hear?