Crazy, Psycho, Bitch ~ not my SD - ME!!
Okay... Here it is; please let me know if I am not alone.
It has taken 11 years and yesterday I noticed a severe change in ME. (I am not 100% placing blame on anyone) But I notice that I am short tempered and extremely deffensive. I am not sure if it because I have become severely unhappy at home; due to the living situation. SD13 has come to live FT; and it is a MESS. Before 7:05 am!! SD and dad were ready to kill each other; while other 3 kids just sit there and listen. I am proud of dad for finally telling SD13 that she is not able to come and go as she pleases; and that she MUST ask first and not just let us know what she has decided to do (it's not like we would even say no -we hardly ever do)
Over the years I have grown very defensive and think that people are out to get me; I am always defending myself at home it I talk improperly to my SD or I don't agree w/ punishments. Today did give me a shimmer of light; but (this is when I loose my cool) when she gets home dad will have felt bad all day and take everything back and give her free rein of everything once again. I believe that once something comes out of your mouth; it should stay out ~ right?
I just don't want to be this angry bitter person anymore. I miss myself and I know my kids miss it too.
Help!! (There are 1,000's of stories I could share to show how I became this way; but after reading all the posts I think you all get the idea)
Have a Great day!!
Same boat...my son told me I
Same boat...my son told me I changed for the better from not being with his dad. Now I'm right back where I was 3 years ago because of psyco BM. I think it is a result of holding it in all the time, like I can't go outside and say...Who do you think you are???
One of the worst things for
One of the worst things for raising kids is inconsistency.
I am recently unemployed, and
I am recently unemployed, and I am raising 4 kids, 2 bios, 2 step. I have found by volunteering, scheduling days for DH to spend just with his kids, and days I spend just with my kids, I feel much better about my current situation. For instance, yesterday I was able to keep my cool with SS8 because I knew I just had to get him out to school, and Dad would be on the hook for the rest of the day, not me, it was my night to spend with Bio son 13. I met with my Girl Scout manager and work on some Girl Scout stuff. It helps to have something other than the drama in the family to focus on. I know it is hard to believe I have been able to make time to volunteer at Girl Scouts and Church, but I do these things with the kids which means I am not taking time from them, and my dh has time to himself with his boys. This is the first year I am doing all of this and it is really helping me, I fall into BITCH mode pretty quickly, but I find I am able to shrug off a lot when I have other things (good things) on my mind.
Obsessing over a woman I
Obsessing over a woman I wouldn't normally give the time of day to makes me feel like a loser.
She is over weight, materialistic, snotty, immature, doesn't have full costody of her kids and talks a mile a minute. All the things I normally look down my nose about.
Why did we choose them to be our family? If my real family would have done these things to me, I wouldn't have anything to do with them.
What is it that makes us; give up our beliefs, twist our morals, give up on the love we have for ourselves and adjust our character to meet their demands?
Obsessing over a woman I
Obsessing over a woman I wouldn't normally give the time of day to makes me feel like a loser.
She is over weight, materialistic, snotty, immature, doesn't have full costody of her kids and talks a mile a minute. All the things I normally look down my nose about.
Why did we choose them to be our family? If my real family would have done these things to me, I wouldn't have anything to do with them.
What is it that makes us; give up our beliefs, twist our morals, give up on the love we have for ourselves and adjust our character to meet their demands?