My former husband and I had a successful co-parenting relationship. We were fortunate to have someone help us; when we could not "fix" our marriage, we were counseled on "how to divorce." All the pressures were kept away from our kids and put on us. We had a flexible visitation schedule and "last minutes" were not a big deal as we both knew each other meant no ill will. We communicated via phone calls and texts, always about kids; nothing personal between us. Kids were with me more so I made sure their dad had any and all info pertaining to the kids. Anything that came up (medical,education, discipline, etc) was quickly brought to their dad's attention. He did the same for me. As we re-couupled, each new partner was brought into the "circle" and given just as much value and worth. Kids were told, no disrespect of anyone (including stepparents) would be tolerated. And it wasn't.

Today, our kids are successful adults. We don't communicate as much these days but still have open lines with each other to discuss our kids. We've done a lot of "joint" stuff over the years (graduations, birthdays, moving kids, etc) and our kids really appreciate not having to do TWO gatherings for ONE life event. And over those years, we've gotten to the place we (the four parents) call each other friends. 

Now, on DHs side???? What a shit show. As good as it was with my ex husband, it was that bad with DHs ex and his adult kids. SMH

EDIT: One of my favorite memories was one of the kids (can't remember which one) asked to do something and I said no. Kid said, well, I'll call dad. I said, do it. He and I discuss everything about you and your sibling. Stomps off and says, "I wish ya'll would fight like other divorced parents." That's when I knew my former husband and I had been successful in co-parenting.

Early on BM would ask DH to come do fix-it man stuff in her house. DH felt bad about the kids having to deal with BM's broken whatever but that is where I drew the line. BM can pick up the phone and call a repair man like everyone else does. 

Early on there was a lot of oversharing, and asking for things that were not pertinent or important for children.

One by one, Husband mentioned that it was inappropriate, and sometimes threw me in there. "my wife would not like me doing this for you". This is because he set a peresedence early on when he moved her out and from place to place. Fixed things. ETC.

In general DH and I naturally don't associate with anyone who has a malicious attitude toward our partner.  In Satan's case in particular it meant blocking her.  Jealousy and mistrust had nothing to do with it. 

He has been little more than a POS statutory rapist.  DW was 16 when SS -30 was born, the DipShitiot was 23.

DW was awarded full physical and legal custody at birth.  She attempted to be a family until the POS moved on to a new 16yo when DW wa approaching her 18th b-day.  She initiated CS just before SS turned 1yo.  Upon graduating HS with her class and with honors she and SS left SpermLand  to pursue university studies.

We met when SS-30 was 15mos old.  We married the week before SS turned 2yo.

Since that move she/we have never lived nearer than 1200 miles to SpermLand or the Spermidiot. For the first few years DW tried to cater to them in an attempt to minimize them "being mean" and taking out their crap on SS while he was on SpermClan visitation.  I kept reminding her that she had been nothing but nice and they had gotten nothing but meaner with her and more neglectful of SS (then a toddler) when he was with them on visitation. IT took a few cycles before she learned that giving them an inch let them again perpetrate their manipulative crap.

After DW went zero tolerance with their shit and full confrontation with them, they were reasonable and complied completely with the CO and did what they were told or they suffered.  Unfortunately every few years DW would back off because "they have not been a problem and have learned their lesson".  At which point they would immediately try their usual historical manipulations.  After a few of the DW backing off and them growing more toxic cycles DW finally gained clarity that the only thing they understood was total and complete dominance and immediate pain if they pulled their shit.

When SS aged out from under the CO at 18 they went zero contact with him.  Until he elisted in the USAF.  At which point they started the full court guilt press to get him to pay them to help raise his three younger spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.  He did not fall for that crap.

At this point, SS is kicking ass as a adult. Spermidiot Spawn #2 is on the dole, #3 is in prison, and #4 is not far behind #3.  SS detests the Spermidiot as does #2.  #3 and #4 worship him and are living out his ganganger wannabe fantasies.  Sadly, the youngest two can do what the Spermidiot couldnt. The Spermidiot has lied his ass off to the crips and the bloods that he is black.  They think he is a joke. He isn't black.  His two youngest children are biracial and he has raised them to worship that culture. They are making him proud as they engage in bad choices and end up in prison.

Fortunately SS -30 was raised with increasing access to the facts regarding his Spermidiot and the SpermClan and has kept them in their place.  He has kep their noses firmly rubbed in the stench of their lies, manpulations and shit behaviors ever since. The last few years of visitation he would call them out in real time when they would lie to him or try to manipulate him.  

My son escaped that shit gene pool.  In large part because DW and I have always refused to tolerate the shit perpectrated by the SpermClan.  He asked me to adopt him when he was 22yo. We made that happen. 

He wears our family name on his uniform.  He and his mom have for the fist time in their lives had the same family name for the past 8years.

The SpermClan... remain what they are.

DW, SS and I have a very close relatioship.  He has nearly zero relationshitp with the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.