Adult hiding kids toy from another kid
Forums:
Hi all I wanted some advice
Is it strange to hide a toy (no sentimental toy I’m literally talking a ball) from another child?
The ball belongs to 13 year old DSD and my partner decided to hide the ball from my nephew (under 5) when he came round incase he broke it. My nephew IS NOT a wreaking ball child who breaks everything just for context. DSD wasn’t present when my nephew was here. I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable for being angry with him over it as I thought it was mean and to be honest pathetic. He's words were I better hide this as if it gets broken DSD will go mad.
Is the ball made of glass or
Is the ball made of glass or super expensive? I don’t understand this gatekeeping behavior it’s so childish. My DH made it known to our bios that Spawn’s toys were off limits to them but she could play with their stuff. This led to Spawn being very entitled with her toys and never sharing but also taking my bios toys and breaking them because she could. In front of all the kids I told him that he was creating a toxic relationship between the kids by singling one out and making them more special than the others. I told him that if this is how he wanted it all toys were off limits to each child unless it was specifically bought for them. Our bios got upset and Spawn stood there dear in the headlights because I called out the toxic behavior. DH had to deal with three kids all at different ages having some sort of meltdown, after that he never said a damn thing about the toys.
Gosh that sounds awful! It's
Gosh that sounds awful! It's a really horrible trait and I can imagine how much that rattled you as that's your own babies this is my nephew who I adore but he isn't my son! No it's was literally won at a fun fair one of them big bouncey ball things!
Are you talking about an
Are you talking about an inflatable ball?
I mean.. to be honest.. even if it was something that was not of huge value.. I am guessing that none of us would want something destroyed. And.. it is not without some amount of forethought that a big bouncy inflatable ball would be attractive as a play thing for a 5 or 6 year old.. and that ag 5 or 6.. any kid that age might play roughly with something.. and since it was not necessarily a super high quality thing.. that it might be more easily broken.. so out of sight.. out of mind..
So.. I'm team DH on this one.. sure.. if a young kid is coming over and you don't want them to play with something that is in the house.. an attractive nuisance so to speak.. something a kid would have a hard time keeping hands off of.. even a "good kid".. then those things should be put out of the way.. so not to tempt fate.
It's kind of along the lines of the SP who was upset a straw was chewed by a 9 yo.. no.. a straw is not super valuable in and of itself.. probably can be replaced in some manner but it wasn't that poster's DH place to speak for the posession of someone else.. So.. in this case.. since stepkid isn't there to allow the ball to be shared... I think it's fine to not let a kid play with it.. since it isn't being asked for.
Thank you for your reply it's
Thank you for your reply it's interesting to see it from the other side yes it was the inflatable ball
Good Gawd
I'd take a pin and deflate that sucker down.
SD 13 would go mad at her bouncy ball being broken. WTF is she 6!? Its strange that a bouncy ball from a fair is treated like the queens tiara, all protected and locked up. I guess SD forms strong attachments to bouncy balls, from fairs. A family heirloom. Oh the sarcasm is dripping.
To be fair no one wants their stuff broken. But dang seems like your DH is searching for ways to make your 5 yr old nephew look bad. Gotta get even with the meanie SM, letting her know her 5yr old is destructive, which as you said he isnt. These men pick on other kids, indirectly, to make them feel less defensive for theirs.
Thats why these skids are awful, they are parented like they are china dolls, and china dolls can break. So lets tip toe around them and cater. Thats what these shit parents create.
That's the thing it's my
That's the thing it's my nephew so not even my child so it's not like he's got irritating kids wrapped around him all the time. Tbh from my previous post you can probably see the 'mini wife' post but I thought I'd leave that out just to get a fair comment on the scenario! Thank you!
Absolutely. Cheap inflated balls are meant to be used and
ultimately destroyed. That is what they are for. The use, abuse, and destruction are the point. And the fun of the item.
This is not a Babe Ruth signed game used baseball from the golden age of MLB that a young kid has taken and used in a sand lot game with their friends.
Not a kid, and not a ball.... but..... my SIL was in Peru hiking to Machu Pichu a couple of months ago and my brother drove up and stayed with us for a few days while she was adventuring. He brought their 9mo old retriever with him. Great dog. Well behaved, but... a puppy. We have clinic specific shopping bags that we use for our medically supervised nutrition program. He loved those bags. they are re-usable and durable.
DW, Bro and I laughed every time the dog would go on the hunt for the bag stash and come out all proud when he found one. He would pick through the bag stach until he found just the one he wanted. Only the clinic bags would do.
He would then proceed to turn the bag into a pile of small pieces.
Irreplacable sentimental heirlooms not withstanding, people need to use their F'n heads!!!!!!
smh
Comparing a 5yo to a 13yo is not flattering. For the 13yo. Daddy needs some new glasses that filter out all light in the "rose colored" spectrum.
Oh them rose coloured glasses
Oh them rose coloured glasses are firmly on I can assure you that! We came head to head last night over it as myself and SD are both currently ill. He will barely go near me incase I give it to him...fair enough. However SD is all cuddled up to him on the sofa. When I asked him is he not worried about getting the illness from her he informed me she is a child and I can't compare myself to his daugher as it's pathetic. Although in my mind the same action will lead to the same consequences. Daddy's little princess.
BARF
I just threw up reading this.
Lady your DH is too far gone.
It sucks taking second place. No its not a competition but dear ol daddio turns it into one, and SD has learnt from him.
Ughhhh
Oh hunny this is only the
Oh hunny this is only the surface!
Not strange at all... If your SO was a toddler.
smh
It's not something I would do
It's not something I would do, but I don't really think there's anything wrong with it. Your partner was worried about the ball being broken, he removed the ball BEFORE the nephew came over and saw it. No harm, no foul IMO.
I agree with this. Often I
I agree with this. Often I give the advice to SMS of packing up and removing items that skids cannot be trusted with. True it's just a bouncy ball but if it has sentiment value and could possibly be popped or damaged in some way, then by all means put it out of sight out to mind. Perhaps is this kid is particularly fond of these balls a separate one could be bought for his use when he comes over.
Now I will say that I find it funny this is the only story I have ever heard of a dad putting something away to keep it from being damaged and of course it's a stepkid's possession!
I do completely understand
I do completely understand what you mean. I think I just felt for my nephew as I said haven't seen the ball since the 5th November apart from when her brother wanted to play with it but I think the outcome of this forum is let by gones be by gones but keep it noted. She is a nice enough kid she just knows how to rule the roost!
I actually think you're
I actually think you're making too big of a thing over this. You're indignant over something he took the time to eliminate before it happened. Maybe it's just a ball to you but maybe it has sentimental meaning to her. A memory, etc.It's not like he snatched it out of your nephew's hands or your nephew burst it and chaos ensued. Your BF (DH?) handled it before it could explode and cause a faimly mess. He knew, as did you, that his daughter had already shown a protective feeling towards that particular toy. He took steps to make sure that did not occur again.
I think it's important to know our motives when we react. Is this incident a build up from other issues going on? Did you over react because you're fed up w/ his babying/favoring her before then?
I know I tend to build up to my blow ups and I would over react to something becaue of my pent up resentment and anger.
To be honest I just wanted to
To be honest I just wanted to see if it was even worth mentioning yes there's defo underlying issues but that's to do with me and my partner. I just felt for my nephew in this situation there's a hell of a lot more to it but this was on one particular situation
Also to add of course he'll
Also to add of course he'll always favour his kids before my nephews that's completely reasonable I just felt hiding a ball that she's never ever played with was a bit extra but seems I'm getting really mixed messages on this forum some saying he was reasonable which I understand and appreciate others saying it was pathetic which is what I initially thought
I look at it as it's her ball
I look at it as it's her ball, meaning your SO doesn't have the right to offer it to someone else to use. Same as if your SD wanted to wear a sweater of yours - it's not your SO's property to give away.
There may be other issues that are making this a bigger issue, but at face value, what your SO did wasn't an issue. Now, the message it sends or the act itself may be a problem based on other factors (like he DOES give permission for SD to borrow your things without your consent). Even then, your focus should be on the actual things that are a problem. In this example, the problem isn't him hiding the ball; it's giving permission to SD to use your stuff without your permission. THAT is the thing you need to bring up to him, not thr ball issue.
I would put ANYTHING away so
I would put ANYTHING away so that a child couldn't break it if I felt like it might happen. If your nephew likes balls, and it makes you upset that he put his daughter's toy away, maybe get one that's his for when he comes over. My SD who was 6 at the time cut my daughter's goggles for swim team, damaged a notebook by DIGGING into it with a pen, and just about RUINED my rice cooker by dumping seasonings into the base (with out the pan in it). SD was 6 and not typically distructive. she just didn't like people having things/doing that she didn't. DD was artistic, and decorated the cover of this notebook, she was 7yo and it took months... SD destroyed it in MINUTES. DD was 7 and on the swim team for 2 years already, and was an amazing swimmer, SD cut her goggles in the mere matter of seconds, My rice cooker? just a way to get one of my DD's in trouble, and that's always been her endgame.
So if he feels that your nephew may some how unintentionally destroy his daughter's ball, by all means, let him put it up.
Oh hell no.
....she just didn't like people having things/doing that she didn't. DD was artistic, and decorated the cover of this notebook, she was 7yo and it took months... SD destroyed it in MINUTES. DD was 7 and on the swim team for 2 years already, and was an amazing swimmer, SD cut her goggles in the mere matter of seconds, My rice cooker? just a way to get one of my DD's in trouble, and that's always been her endgame.
Which is why if your SD was in my home her butt cheeks wouldn't have been sitable for a week they would be stinging for that long.
Not only would SD not be able to sit, she would get her butt smacked anyttime she touched anything not hers without asking and being granted permission first. Rather than hiding crap from a toxic spawn like your SKid, they need to be exposed to clear and unpleasant consequences for this kind of crap.
I would not put anything away. SD should have to keep her damned hands off of other people's belongings. This is your home, your DD's home, and SD's home. This is not akin to leaving a bicycle against a tree on the side of the street without a lock. This..... is...... your...... home. This..... is ...... your..... DD's.... home. SD needs to keep her vandal hands off of other people's stuff. Or..... earn the pain resulting from her actions.
Everyone else in the home should not be her supply of victims because she has this F-d up perspective on her importance.
Young kids like this frequently grow into POS teens and failed adults if not assertively corrected by adults and when they do not receive a punch in the mouth by their peer victims. Your DD and SD are close enough in age that DD should be able to kick SD's ass for this crap. And she should.
IMHO of course.
smh
I agree, but she was not my
I agree, but she was not my child to spank... DH would punish (not spank, because BM would call child protective services on DH in a heart beat), but 2 days time was back at her mom's where her mom would coddle her and tell her it was not her fault... once SD got older, she began stealing money from BM and her little brother (BM's and her husband's new child). and now here is SD who thinks DH is the worst, that EVERYONE worships her and BM, and that we are all "peons" I can't STAND her, but what am I to do? BM is a disgusting peice of crap and SD is JUST LIKE HER