Christmas Card poll
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We used to have my SD12 24/7, but she is now living with her mom. I keep thinking about how I will now have to handle some things. The Christmas cards is one of them. We always make Christmas cards that are a photo of our family (including SD) and I sign it from all of us, including SD. Well, SD's mom is letting her dye her hair black, pierce her nose and her tongue...I really don't want to send that out to all my family and friends and them to think we are allowing this (but I feel I am still obligated to have her on our Christmas card).
Thoughts? How does everyone else sign their Christmas cards and how often do you have your steps? I guess I could make her take out the piercings and pull her hair back so it doesn't look as bad.
December is a long way off.
December is a long way off. See what your situation is like closer to Xmas.
The Behemoth was letting
The Behemoth was letting BRAINIAC, a BOY, dye his hair black from his natural fire engine red at age 12!! It looked HORRID as all three of GGs kids are total gingers, pale as a ghost with almost white eyelashes and eyebrows!! The only reason why there were no piercings involved is b/c Brainiac is afraid of needles.
Here in NY a parent can get
Here in NY a parent can get into a lot of trouble for allowing a kid under 18 to do any of that stuff.
It's a long ways off. Taking
It's a long ways off. Taking the the piercings off and pulling her hair back is a good idea.
I think it's important for her to still be in the photo. She's going through a phase, hopefully, and will pop out of it.
Don't want to damage her feeling of family by keeping her out of a photo because she's looking wild.
I was a step at 12,it's a really hard time, and I remember everything that happened that year with my SM, the good and the bad.
Leave her out of the picture.
Leave her out of the picture. SD15 is now a bleach blonde and out of our lives. She was not on our last two Christmas Cards. DH understood...
Do most people that have
Do most people that have their steps EOWE include them in Christmas cards? Just curious, I don't know how these things work as since we got married we always had her 24/7 and always did things as if she was mine.
Holiday picture cards are
Holiday picture cards are very important to me as well. One year I took some cute family snapshots (from that year) and uploaded them to walgreens.com and made holiday cards. Maybe you can find some nice family shots of y'all at a park or on vacation or something where she looks like herself and do that instead. They don't have to be holiday-ish photos...just nice pictures.
Greeting loved ones during
Greeting loved ones during the vacation has been a customary dowry for a yards of flights all over the world. Despite it being lesser of a hassle to buy a ready-made greeting postcard from a bookstore.Christmas messages || Christmas quotes
The year my skids went goth
The year my skids went goth with black hair and piercings was the first year I had a Christmas card with bios only. The next year it was easier to leave them out and have a photo with DH, myself and 2 bios only. They live with their BM and see us only a couple of days a month. Our Christmas card has a photo of the residents of our house only. That was about 8 years ago, and no longer an issue. So glad I stood up for myself on that one. I would not send out Christmas cards if I had to include loser skids. Why embarrass yourself to friends and family? Although I often wondered if I could have gotten sympathy with a photo showing sullen black clothed skids.
Leave her out of the
Leave her out of the pictures.
I've wondered about this too!
I've wondered about this too! My family doesn't like the idea that I'm going to be a stepmom and have absolutely no interest in interacting with or involving themselves in SS's life (I wish I could disassociate so easily). He doesn't stay with us hardly at all and has minimal involvement in our lives. But my SO's family is uber-protective of SS and always asks us questions about why we don't include him on things and I know I'm going to get so much flak if I send christmas cards without his picture or name on the card...I'm thinking about just skipping cards altogether.
We're kinda in the same
We're kinda in the same situation. SD14 now lives full time with her mom (her choice) and basically has NOTHING to do with her father and I. We also did the photo Christmas card last year, but it's just the two of us on it, since my daughter lives in MI with her dad and we couldn't include her. Didn't want to send out cards that only had SD and us as a family and not my daughter.
So, we chose to send a photo with just the two of us, since basically, we live together without either girl full time. SD14 has her mom and my daughter has her dad. It hasn't caused any issues so far and hopefully won't this year either.
Good luck!
~Mel
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This is why some go the home made path
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Many of these ladders to simplify and take manage of our Xmases hold up another important point the need to exist sustainably. Xmas can be a occasion of huge waste and environmental crash, and this is often ambitious by our thirst for more fabric goods and our provide systems import food, gifts and other merchandise from approximately the world. :sick: family christmas greetings
Include her in the card,
Include her in the card, DEFINITELY. If things are that messed up, she needs to feel part of your family, not excluded.... 12 years old and getting hair dyed and nose pierced ... wTF
I have the same issue, but
I have the same issue, but SD12 died her hair bright red. She is 12!! Instead of looking at our Christmas card and thinking "what a cute family and so and so is getting so big (BS1), they will all be thinking - what the h has she done to her hair? And they allow that?