I am so very sorry. I think many of us here have the fear that this will happen to us after all we sacrifice for them. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but keep reminding yourself that he did you a favor. You don't need to put up with the craziness anymore. Now get yourself looking and feeling awesome and go find yourself a man with NO KIDS!

Honey, it is his loss. And he has allowed this to happen.

I know it hurts so give yourself time to nurse your wounds and get on and have a good life. There are men out there unencumbered with kids or if they have kids the ex stays out of sight (exhibit A = me).

I wouldn't take this personally because he has made it clear as long as he is alone his ex will not harass him. The next time he gets antsy for a girlfriend it will all start again. And he may reach out to you which would be the ultimate smug moment when you can say "Oh well, never mind. Gotta run, off on a cruise next week with my friend and I have a LOT to do! Take care! Bye!"

I'm so sorry, I've been there. He just did you a big favor, but he also insulted you, so I know it will take time to process all this. Given time you will thank the Lord over and over that your BF asked you to move out. I know I do all the time.

I am so sorry, I am in the same boat right now. We are not breaking up, but I am moving out.

I am so sorry. But I have to agree with the other posters. He has no backbone to deal with his ex. As long as you remained together, the ex would continue to make your lives miserable. My DH had no issue with his ex when we were dating or even when we moved in together. In fact we used to get along. However, she started showing her true colors during important events like our wedding, my pregnancy, etc. Once they get their claws in, they don't stop. I know you are hurting now, but he has saved you from a world of hurt down the road. I do feel for his daughter though. This must be very confusing for her not to mention what kind of lessons in manipulation this may be teaching her.

I am sorry...It is a blessing in so many ways, try to think of it that way and move forward. It is obvious his ex had the "not me, but nobody" syndrome.

Things happen for a reason, I really believe that. I can tell you are hurting now, but you got a clear view in the window that would have been your future...

Prayers, and take care.

IT might feel like you were the one rejected, but you're the winner in this situation. You dodged a major bullet with that guy. IT's hard enough when the guy has a spine and prioritizes his SO, this guy did neither for you. His loss, now all his has is a bratty kid and a nasty ex. Maybe they'll get back together, they're made for eachother. You, you're made for much better.

Sounds like the asshole did you a favor, but in such a cowardly, ball-less way. He'll either spend the rest of his life alone or go back to his hag. But YOU, knowing what you know now have an opportunity to start over.
I know starting over isn't easy, but you will get through it and in a year from now, maybe you can look back and think, "Whew, that was close!"
Big hug!

I can only imagine your hurt...but know, this is a BLESSING in disguise...you will see that when you are ready.

I could cry when I read this, big hugs! But I need to say that he is a f......g looser, there is no other way to say and once you recover from this you will probably feel relieved you got rid off him.

I have to say that I see nothing bad about this your broken heard not withstanding.

Your X has no sack, is no man, is no father and for sure has no character or integrity. Good riddance.

Now you can move on to a true equity partner of character, integrity and quality.

Do not look back and have no regrets.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

So sorry that your wussy ass BF lets his ex run his life. You deserve, and will find, much better.

Do not hook up with a man with minors :O this could of easily been me and still can ...we took the next step and married. But the kid and ex are in charge

I know your hurt and I know your pain. My marriage may be coming to end because of all of the stress and strain my SD's have caused. As bad as this sounds, if he isn't man enough to stand up to his ex, he actually did you a favor. You would have always come 2nd to his ex. Your marriage would've been miserable because he doesn't have the balls to put you first.

GOOD RIDDANCE

Wait until he meets his next girlfriend... and has the EXACT same problem. SD will grow up, he'll be alone and THEN realize what a moron he is.

Well, read the adult stepchildren forum - some men never change or understand:).

Wish I could help, but it will get better and it's true you will be saved from years of hell down the road. Like her growing up being just like BM. Or you always having to move aside for them. Because he believes her bullshit!,, but I'm in 20 years and I think you now are prepared for a wonderful man who will not make you feel like less. With that being said use what you have learned for future relationships. To not stick your neck out for BF so quickly let him deal with it. And PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to how he does it so you can nip any crap in the bud right out of the gate. Before you have invested too much of your love, time and energy into helping them out. They are his kids. I forgot that one rule and I have paid dearly.

He gave you a gift. The gift of freedom.

The right man wants you to be in his life, he will move heaven and earth to make sure you are.

He wasn't the right man for you. That simple. Someday, you will find a man, and he will find you, who is your compliment, your equal, your everything.

And the fantastic thing is, there are many, many men out there who could possibly fit this description.

I'm separated from my EXDH. Its been almost 6 months. It wasn't an easy separation. But, in my heart, I know that he was never going to be the man who believes that the marriage relationship must be a priority. I didn's say "the only priority", but a priority.

I'm looking forward to being with a man who does. Until then, I shall savour my freedom.

True words of wisdom Brightside. I was not able to understand that a year ago but now I understand and receive it fully. I also understand now why the motto of his BM2 on her facebook was: Do not make somebody a priority when you are just an option in their life.
Some men never change - 10 - 12 years they stay the same.You would think that in these years he has reflected and would be able to make a committed relationship a priority. We were engaged to be married and still he has not changed who he is at his core.Rigid, uncompromising and stuck in his fear of change.Patterns and habits are difficult to break.

I am also hopeful and excited for you. Embrace your freedom and the gift you are given. Spread your wings and find yourself.Change is good and means you are growing and evolving. If you embrace change you will be surprised how many gifts will come with that. Resisting change blocks you , stagnates you and when you are blocked you cannot move , grow and evolve.

Good for you! I agree with everyone else, move on, find a childless single guy to treat you well. You deserve it!

Good luck!

if your man was a man to start of with he needs to man up. he needs to cut the cords with his ex and not let her come between you too. he's such a loser and run while you can. you still have time.

i think you should thank him if you ever see him again. be happy and vivacious (pretend if you don't feel it). tell him it hurt at first but you know now it was for the best and let him know what a relief to scrape and bow before his wife and kid (cause they may have been divorced, but never truly broke up) and you are looking to the future with excitement. then never seek him out again. let him think of you as the one that got away, the best thing he ever had as he's dealing with the same issues with his ex that drove them apart in the first place.