BM trying to control everything as usual.
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So DH has been employing the Gray Rock technique with HCBM, only communicating with her via email. We are in the middle of trying to modify the PP and both sides have attorneys. Her attorney sent DH's attorney and email today stating that his client has expressed concern over not being able to communicate with DH and she would be much more inclined to negotiate the case if there was open communication. (((Eye roll)))
Obviously she is just trying to control the situation as per usual but it really bothers me that she is only willing to communicate if she gets what she wants.
How would you handle this situation? We have pretty much agreed and told the attorney that no, DH preferes email only.
I’m assuming your DH has his
I’m assuming your DH has his reasons for limiting contact to email only. If BM is high conflict, the less communication the better.
That said, what is your attorney’s advice on it? Family court can be fickle from what I’ve seen on here, is it possible his lack of communication could impede his chances of getting a better outcome with the PP?
This was my concern as well,
This was my concern as well, but our attorney seemed to get why DH insists on email only. This is a situation where we should probably be using OFW but HCBM would never agree.
If you're going to court -
If you're going to court - then ask for that to be court ordered. You may or may not get it.
Have DH's attorney say that,
Have DH's attorney say that, due to difficult situations with communication, DH would like to use Our Family Wizard or some other online communication system.
The court can't order DH to be nice to BM and follow her orders, much as she hopes it can.
Tell the lawyer that you are
Tell the lawyer that you are more than happy to communicate with her. It simply has to be via email because you want everything to be documented. That way there can be no miscommuncations or misunderstandings about what has been discussed.
Simple. Lawyers like simple and they LOVE to see documentation.
The BM has no case against
The BM has no case against your DH just because he wants to communicate with her through email. Let her spend her money on a lawyer LOL. BM over here would call and send text messages and if my DH didn't respond to them right away she would blow up his phone. He told her that she would be ignored unless it was an emergency she will does this crap here and there when she isn't getting her way. Your DH has a right to not have to deal with someone high conflict so I really don't think the courts will frown upon just communicating with the BM through email. Everyone else gives good advice your DH's lawyer can just say that your DH wants everything documented so there is no miscommunications or misunderstandings.
If your lawyer is the
If your lawyer is the agressive type, which I would recommend, he should warn bm’s lawyer that because of BM being high conflict communication is limited to email or recorded conversations and if BM wants to pursue this further y’all have ample evidence to show the judge (verbally abusive texts, emails, phone messages etc) to make sure email or even going as far as requiring a paid parenting app to be the only means of communicating.
But thats only if your willing to back up that bluff and you have evidence of her texting/calling and being high conflict. All it will take is your lawyer telling hers y’all have proof she’s not easy to communicate with and he will talk her down and tell her to let it go.
THe respons to BM and her
The responds to BM and her lawyer is obvious. "BM has full, complete, and open communication with BioDad via email. Her offer of negotiation in response to open communication is obviously a manipulation as she has always had that access and has failed to negotiate. So, see you in court. We shall see what a Judge thinks about her failure to be reasonable."
Make sure that you have complete records of her crap including print outs of her texts, emails, recordings of her vitriolic calls, and journals of her crap. Don't share it with her before court. Let her squirm as you go through each painful syllable of her crap. Read in court, recordings played in court, for the benefit of the public record.
See how she and her attorney like having her crap presented in court.