BM hits new low. Just when I thought I had escaped her drama..
I’ll start this off by saying, my SO and I have recently split up. I thought I was away from all the mess with BM (not the reason for the split), but apparently not. When his daughter was last here, she dislocated her shoulder at some point during the very end of her time with him or very soon after being back with mom. She was not in obvious pain or had any falls that I/his family saw while she was with them, but BM took her to the hospital after getting her back and that’s when it was discovered. The daughter is still a toddler, the doctor told her accidents like that can happen very easily, and she was fine.
Now, less than 2 weeks before my ex is supposed to have his summer custody visit, she has claimed child abuse because of said incident that happened with her shoulder. I have to be at an emergency hearing on Monday as a witness to the fact that I did not see anything happen, did not notice her in obvious pain, and have never felt worried for her safety. Which is all true. The doctor said she could have slept on her arm wrong, or even a soft fall could have done it. Heck, for all I know, BM could have accidentally pulled her arm wrong getting her in/out of the car. BM is very unstable but to claim child abuse is low, even for her. I never wanted to see her face again and now we will be in the same room. I am less than thrilled to say the least.
Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this? Serious accusations that are completely made up? I have no idea what to expect in court. Just want it all over with.
She's sounds desperate on all
She's sounds desperate on all levels.
Kids are accident prone.
Sorry you have such a nightmare on your hands
Oh honey, Im sorry about your
Oh honey, Im sorry about your split and that you have been dragged back into insanity. Yes, this does happen, and to some people it happens a lot, and most of the time it is completely made up garbage. The BM might even use your split as more evidence that abuse did in fact occur (mine would). If you absolutely have to go just tell the truth. Theres nothing to remeber or recite, just the truth as it did happen. If you exSO is smart he will try to try to turn the charges around on her for slandering his good name. There can also be fines and jail time for filing false and malicious charges and using CPS as a weapon. Your SO will have to be on top of this though, because you cant file those kind of charges at a later date.
The BM is probably just adding to a list of evidences in order to take custody away from SO. Tell him to be wary of this and keep all documents from the entire situation because even if there is no foul play found, she can still say that she had to call CPS because of abuse. It is VERY VERY important for him to document everything in this situation! Any and all phones calls made btw the parties should be recorded at this point. All papers from the doctors offices must be kept even after this specific trial, in the instance that she uses this custody case. Trust me if shes going to pull this once then she will do it again or something worse. At this point she can not be trusted and needs to be treated like the rest of him.
My advice to you is, if you are split and plan on staying split. Stay out of it. Crazy BMs use the exes as weapons against the daddy. Do not take her phone calls, do not answer her texts, do not read her eamils. Stay out of it and away from her.
I have no choice but to go
I have no choice but to go unfortunately. She is doing this for the exact reason you said; she wants him to have as little custody as possible. Like I said, all I have to say is that I never witnessed any abuse, I never worried about that being a factor, and that's it. It is a 30 minute emergency hearing so hopefully I won't have to say much and this is the last time I will ever see her. BM has at one point or another, attacked every part of my character and appearance. She's a nutcase, and while my relationship didn't end because of her, I will not miss being subjected to all of this.
I intend to stay good friends with my ex and his family and I'm sure I will occasionally see his daughter in the future, but my involvement will be very minimal.
You will probably be asked to
You will probably be asked to sit outside the courtroom then called and sworn in.
Remember YOU are not on trial. You listen to the question and answer it honestly. "I don't remember" is a valid answer. Don't be emphatic in answering questions "I NEVER saw him do anything like that" if asked about abuse. Just "No, nothing of that sort". You don't want to overplay it seeming to be pro-boyfriend and anti-ex-wife.
If they ask why you're no longer with him be truthful as above. The equivalent of "She's a unstable person who hates her ex and me who will even use her child to get her vengeance".
What an opportunity. But don't go overboard - just answer the questions honestly.
We split because we'd been
We split because we'd been having some issues lately, he has some things to work out for himself and some growing up to do (his words) and it was best to just take time apart. I'm still pretty young (23), and the time on my own also gives me a chance to figure out if the step-mom life would be for me. Whether we ever get back together or not, it was very amicable and we're good friends.
How about "She's a bitch and
How about "She's a bitch and deserves to die in Hell fire".
I am so sorry you are being
I am so sorry you are being dragged into to the drama again, but honestly I can't blame BM on this one. If one of my kids came back with a dislocated shoulder and had not received medical attention I would flip my shit. I TOTALLY get that there were no signs that you saw and that whatever happened was something small and unintentional but to be a mother who gets her child back from a weekend broken and untreated... Yeah. My ass would be in court too.
Oh yes. We dealt with a
Oh yes. We dealt with a toxic blended family opposition that tried to leverage a childhood accident in to a custody battle. Twice.
Sperm Grandma threatened to fund the Sperm Idiot in a second attempt at custody after my SS then 4yo fell off of a swing set/play scape and broke his arm a week before he went to Sperm Land for a visitation. She took extreme exception to the bright RED fiberglass caste that SS selected and how it clashed with the Sperm Idiot's sisters wedding colors. We knew nothing about the wedding but would not have given a shit if we had.
We told her to bring it on and to keep in mind that we had not filed for a CS review in years and if she wanted to play the bankroll her idiot son once again trying to steal custody to bring it on she could pay his increased CS obligation since she and Sperm Grandpa were already paying their toothless moron son's CS anyway. Oh, by the way, we would present Private Investigator reports and video footage showing the Sperm Idiot taking under the table cash payments for plumbing jobs (and would notify the IRS and provide them with the video footage) and video evidence of him having inappropriate sexual contact with minor girls. Stupid people are so easy to bare the asses of.
Sperm Grandma grabbed her dipshitiot son and they crawled back under their rock.
5 years later they threatened to take custody again when SS face planted in to the curb while racing bicycles with his friend and breaking off his two front teeth (the permanent ones) at the gum line. He was wearing a helmet.
Same result. We rolled out the new estimated CS that would come out of a review of CS as well as more damning evidence of likely criminal activity by the Sperm Idiot.
The crawled back under their rock yet again.