So buckle up cuz' this is a long story. My DH and I have been together for 4 years now and married for 1. I have a 7 yo DD and we have a 9 MO baby boy, he has a 5 yo boy so SS. My daughter has always lived with us as her dad lives outside of the country and she thinks of my husband as her father although she maintains a good relationship with her bio dad. She travels every 6 months and visits for 2 weeks, SS has always been around, at first every other weekend or occasionally a full week like visiting for vacations but 8 months ago his mom said she couldn't take care of him financially and didn't have the time either and so DH picked him up with a bag full of clothes and toys and he came to live with us. My baby was just 1 month old and by then my husband worked full time meaning he left like at 5 am and came back at around 8 pm ... I'm a SAHM but I work from home giving English classes, I was on my "maternity leave" kinda time and wanted nothing but to enjoy my baby and figure out the timing for my daughter as well and suddenly I was given another kid to take care off. A kid who started pissing everywhere and soiling his pants even to he went to the bathroom ... He just wouldn't pull down his pants (was already 5 and potty trained), a kid who started being aggressive and then kinda depressive as he doesn't want to live with us,a kid who didn't know how to shower, dress, eat, go to the bathroom or clean himself (his mom did everything for him) dealing with a newborn and getting my daughter adjusted to our new family dinamic. During this time his bio mom hasn't given us a penny on child support and my DH doesn't even ask her to step up for her child. Originally it was meant to be a 6 month kinda thing but a new year has started, she has no stable job or even a decent place to live so now SS is staying over for at least 6 more months. My husband is aware of the fact that it's not fair I ended up taking care of him while both his parents were pretty much gone and has started a new job which will allow him to be home more but still refuses to ask her for child support and it really bothers me since we have a joined account and it feels as if I were taking care of the expenses too which is NOT my job. The more time SS spends here the more I resent my husband for putting me in this position where I feel like I have to take care of a kid who's not mine in every aspect! He's not a bad kid and he has gotten his potty situation under control but even tho I've honestly tried really hard I can't seem to love him as my own, I've been coming to this website to feel validated because this is the only place I've ever seen people say I DON'T HAVE TO! ... I'm just bothered by the whole situation and have a lot of resentment towards my husband, I feel like I missed the bliss of the newborn stage with my baby over being preoccupied with caring after his son and like I'm the one paying for half of his everything when it should be his mom's responsibility.