BD tells BM that SD12 should be allowed boyfriends at school
Ever since this last summer we've caught SD12 with innapproipate conversations with boys, boys her age and a year or two older tryign to get her to talk abotu sex or even send nudes, she naive about subject actually. but, We took the device away and told her no more texting with boys just your girlfriends....well, we foudn more of boys send her pretty dirty sexual talk. Again we took the device away, and let BD know about it also. The problem is now, he's coming back saying she getting that age where having boyfriend at school is cute and natural. This drove me nuts because I know what the boys are interested in and she's not talking with the nice guys at school, and BM doesn't know how to properly talk back to BD. If I get invovled with him it ends up being a fight.
Am I wrong for thinking giving her the OK to have a boyfriend at 12 (almost 13) is a bad idea giving the previous encounters she's had online, or should I just accept like BD thinks, that it's natural and you shouldn't fight it?
In this day with the amount of stuff that can be exchanged over these devices (photos, obscene messages, etc.), 12 is not a cute littlel innocent phase. This surprises me, I would would think BD would be even more protective than me over his daughter with allowing boys. The priorities with some adult I can't understand, I'm more wish she'd join a book club and increase her education more, and BD is busy supporting this.
I think if her parents don't
I think if her parents don't give a shit you need to let it alone. Yes, it's sad and inappropriate but she's not your child. No matter what you do you're wrong.
I think OP *IS* DH in this
I think OP *IS* DH in this situation and IS NOT the kid's father - he is stepDad. This is an issue Mom and Dad need to work out on their own. Mom can do as she like in terms of allowing/not allowing her child to date while at her home.
Yes, the BD is a piece of
Yes, the BD is a piece of work. Earlier this year we caught SS16 with an email between him and his g/f that they were planning on having sex at school. Once we confronted SS16 about this, he first denied everything then admitted it was stupid to plan it, but he knew we were also goign to inform the g/f's parent. SS16 asked is there "anything" we can do to get the g/f out of this situation, and I said no you all just have to deal with the consquences and move on.
Well, this was the exact day that he was going to his BD for the weekend. As soon as he got there, BD got invovled called us and said he found what really happened, it was just his friend playing games with him over email, it wasn't his g/f. I had so much proof it was her that this drove me nuts and SS16 already admitted everything, BD even called the g/f mom to let her know their lie they came up with and she got off scott free. When I tried to talk to SS16 while he was over there wondering why he changed his story after getting there he put BD on speaker phone to hear everything (because SS16 didnt know what to say) and I heard BD say "Say what I F^%&ing told you to say or I'll...."
So now BD was the hero for saving son's girlfriend from trouble, when her mom needs to know what type of girl she really is and what she was up to. BD taught his son the best trick, lie your butt off until you get your way. SS16 and I have never been the same since then. When he came back home and I confronted him about the lie him and BD made up after he admitted it all to me, he stood there like a criminal in court not wanting to turn in his accomplish and refused to say one word. So again, after 8 years of raising SS16 full-time with me to be a good decent person, he let BD run his life and turn him against me.
Its amazing the things us stepdads do to help, just to have everything overruled and destroyed.