Are you friends with Skids on Facebook?
When my SD11 started a Facebook , OF COURSE I get a friend request from her. I accepted it since I hardly use facebook for anything but posting my baby.
So of course BM uses this to check my facebook to get any juicy gossip off there to start crap about!
Now she's throwing fits about a vacation MY PARENTS are taking us on and we aren't taking SD11. My mom doesn't want to take her. She doesn't much like her. I didn't post about the vacation, one of my DH cousin did since they live close to where we are going. I don't ever post anything personal on FB due to BM.
I'm sick of it. I want to delete my SD11 but I feel horrible about it. It's not her fault her mother is INSANE over 10 years after her divorce and I can't really explain that to her!
What would you do?
Honestly with or without your
Honestly with or without your SD on Facebook she would probably try to snoop. I am not friends with the BM or anyone close to her and she still tries to gather information on Facebook about me and then will say something to her oldest son and SS reports back to me and daddy not because we ask him to but because I think it upsets him she says mean things.
I would say delete her, or you can sit it to where certain people can only see certain things even if they are on your friends list. I would also get DH to talk to her and tell he that this is y'alls life and that it really isn't her business - you don't want to ge4t involved because it could turn out very ugly but get him to set boundaries - you deserve for y'all to have your life while only when it comes to SD does it involve her. If you don't want to take SD that is your families decision and it shouldn't even have to be brought up that they don't like SD.
Why does an 11 year old have
Why does an 11 year old have a facebook page?
i had sd on my fb (after
i had sd on my fb (after having blocked her before) but i hid a lot of things from her on there. then she started sending me nasty messages as i wasn't doing what she was telling me i should be doing for her, so i blocked her again. the block will stay in place this time. if the bitch can't say that shit to my face, she doesn't need to be typing it to me in a message. interestingly, she hasn't had anything to say to me now that she can't do it thru fb or text.
You can limit what can be
You can limit what can be seen under SD's login. Go to privacy settings.
I wouldn't defriend her cause BM's a bitch. I am AMAZED at how many people use FB to snoop/stalk.
I have some limits set, but I
I have some limits set, but I basically don't post anything I wouldn't want the world to know.
I used to have SD14 on my
I used to have SD14 on my facebook page and she'd get bent and whine and cry to DH every single time we did ANYTHING that didn't involve her. So, I set my FB settings so she couldn't see my posts. Then she'd get on my daughter's FB page to look at my posts!!!!
Finally, I just deleted her off my FB. I got tired of the drama and bullshit that would come after every single post or check in. The final straw came after our engagement weekend where we posted pics of my DH proposing (he handed his phone to a stranger to capture the moment then uploaded it on FB announcing to everyone he'd just proposed and I said yes).
She IMMEDIATELY called DH crying that he didn't ask HER permission to get engaged and how upset she was that she wasn't allowed to come away with us that weekend!!!!!!! For the record, he did try calling her for 3 days prior to let him know he was planning on asking me to marry him.
After she got caught sending nasty pictures and messages to her 13 yr old boyfriend (using her FB account on her dad's PHONE and then forgetting to log out), he deleted her account altogether.
In my opinion, kids under 14 shouldn't be able to even HAVE a social networking account.
~Mel
it makes me sick. i thought
it makes me sick. i thought sd20 was the only one in the world who thought we should have her permission to have a baby or anything else that is big like that. i sure as hell never would have guessed so many sd's feel this way. it's entitlement at it's highest. sd threw a fit about not being told first that i was pregnant, then whined that it "happening so fast" :? and it "hit her like a freight train" :? then she was pissed that i was pregnant at all. of course it's all different now that her skanky ass is pregnant. (eye roll).
i can't wait to elope. it's going to be SO fun to have her find out the roundabout way that we are married and have been for x days/weeks/months. i can't wait for that fit. i will be calling her out on it.
Oh yeah, bi, we got the same
Oh yeah, bi, we got the same thing! First it was "you CAN'T move in together, I am NOT ready to have daddy live with another woman", then it was "OMG you got engaged without asking my permission or allowing me to be there to ruin it all" and then it was "You absolutely cannot get married! You've only been divorced from my mom for 2 yrs!"
If DH and I were able to have babies, I'm sure that would be another thing we were never going to be "allowed" to do by SD.
Sad thing is, he actually used to OBEY this child, which is why she thinks it's perfectly ok to boss her parents around. You should've saw how they were together when I first met them. She told DH that she wasn't comfortable with him dating (this is a YEAR after he left her mom) so he deleted all his dating profiles online IN FRONT of her so she was secure that he'd obeyed!!!!! My email was the very last to get through to him prior to him deleting his profile on that site, otherwise we'd never have met...
The list goes on and on but I'd be writing a novel if I kept going. It was sickening how much power they gave this child from day one. She STILL tells her mom what to do and mom just goes right along with it or does things she's "not supposed to do" behind SD's back!
~Mel
Oh. My. God. pity the man
Oh. My. God. pity the man that marries THAT, if she can find anyone who will! tell me that you completely released his balls from her grasp and explained to him how inappropriate that was to begin with! tell me he sees the light now and that it will never happen again!
Oh yes, trust me - it took a
Oh yes, trust me - it took a year for me to show him how insane it was for him to be literally ruled by a 12 yr old girl! He was guilty, even though the mother cheated and he did his best to hold their marriage together, still it was his choice to leave and that shook SD's complete world up.
I wouldn't have married him if he was still catering to her and letting her call the shots in his life anymore, trust me!
~mel
No.
No.
muahahahaha! glad to know i'm
muahahahaha! glad to know i'm not the only one who thinks like this! i don't put things on there that aren't true, but given how sd stalked my fb page when she was on my friends list, i find it hard to believe she isn't trying to find things out thru other people's accounts. my page was completely private, so having bm or her friends look me up would have done nothing for her. so i started making a few of my posts public. nothing big, nothing that she can possibly put thru the rumor mill. no subliminal messages for her, either. i just post the non personal things publicly because it makes me giggle to know (and yes, i KNOW she's doing it, i can feel it all the way to my bones) that she thinks she is SO sneaky and is getting away with something, when in fact she's getting away with nothing. she isn't even finding anything juicy, but probably still thinks she's so smart because i blocked her yet she can still see some things on other people's accounts. she isn't smart enough to consider that i might have an inkling that she would have her friends go to my page so she can see whatever she can see. she probably laughs with them thinking i am completely oblivious that she's reading my (boring) posts!
it may be immature, but if it gives me a little comic relief in the face of the stress and misery that product of unprotected sex with a moron brings into my life, i think i should be able to enjoy it!
First off- 11 yr old does not
First off- 11 yr old does not have the maturity for FB. Most adults don't have the maturity for FB. The age at which even FB recommends for usage is 13-14 years of age.
Educate yourself on settings and keep your friends list tight. Make yourself ultra private to anyone that would share info with BM, and lastly, delete SD.
FB is for friends and networking- not family members and CERTAINLY not children. Explain to her that FB is impersonal and since she is part of your family you don't need a computer to be familiar with her comings and going and vice versa. Good grief! She's a child- you are the adult- be one.
Sorry for sounding harsh, but the whole FB thing is ridiculous. I'm pretty active both personally (lots of relatives overseas) and professionally on it and NOT ONE thing has leaked to BM.
Defriend the kid...I did.
Defriend the kid...I did. Life has been better since.
don't delete her just make it
don't delete her just make it where she can't see anything on your page. Easy..that way you still get to see what's on sd's page!! I'm sneaky!
My sd12 doesn't have a facebook but i'm sure she'll be getting one soon. Bm has a fb, I'm not friends with her and I blocked her from seeing any of my stuff even photos.
Bf is of course friends with her bc he's a glutton for punishment. I sure she loves to look at our pics to see what all we're doing.
I think if you really want to
I think if you really want to piss her off, post a link to this website on your FB! Ha!!! Just kidding of course!
Seriously though, There are 2 solutions I can think of... Set some privacy to what your SD can and cannot see. That way if BM wants to snoop, she is only going to see pics of your DH or that you became friends with so and so today. If you delete the child, she can misunderstand that. OR, sit SD down and explain that you care about her but you are going to have to delete her from FB because her mommy is able to see it and mommy gets upset when she sees it. Since you don't want Mommy upset, you think deleting her is best. If you get along with SD I would suggest the privacy settings. You don't want to do anything to make SD question how you feel about her.
No and I never would be. Want
No and I never would be.
Want nothing to do with BM or anything in her life.
Thanks guys! I figured out
Thanks guys! I figured out how to block my SD on my FB without unfriending her! I just don't want her to get her feelings hurt , but I really don't need BM getting into my business.
And just on the whole Facebook issue, I'm not big on posting anything on Facebook other than photos and videos of my baby for my mother in law and family that lives in another country! It's just the easiest way for every one to see updates on her. I don't ever comment on my personal life or what we are doing because I don't want BM to get into it. It's just for ONCE someone posted on my page about our vacation. My husband's cousin lives where we are going and wanted to meet up. BM saw that and threw a shit fit with my husband. I want to just delete my Facebook but I feel that's a bit extreme.
And to the person saying 11 is too young for Facebook , I agree! Her mother doesn't care what we say or think , so she got to keep it.
You still can report SD's
You still can report SD's account to the tech people at Facebook. They do set an age limit of 13 and since SD is underage, Facebook can delete her account, regardless of what BM says!
Just FYI
~Mel