I just found this forum and am new here. I am a mom of 3 biological kids and stepmom to one. DH and I have been married 6 years. 3 years ago we had to move to a different town 120 miles away from family. Til then SS would stay with us every other weekend and 30 days in the summer. I was new to the whole visitation thing so I just went along with what dh did. After we moved, ss stopped coming to visit. DH didn't want to force ss to come if he didn't want to. (at home ss is close to his grandparents and they'd buy him anything he wanted so he preferred to stay home & ride his motorcycles, tractors, 4wheelers, dirt bikes, etc that they'd get him.) anyway, so the last THREE years visitation was virtually stopped. He visited maybe 3 times and trying to see him on holidays was impossible because bm would make excuses that they were busy and such. During those three years we had babies and got in a routine with our life. Now, child support has gone up and dh wants to enforce visitation. So the last few months ss has been coming regularly. He's 12 and my kids are 5, 3 1/2 and 4 mths.

I used to think I was a good sm but now I feel like a bad one. I dread ss visits because he just argueswith the kids and expects to be entertained. We don't go out to eat a lot and don't gomany places when ss isn't with us so we don't always do stuff when he is here. So he's 'bored' all the time. To top it off dh wanted his 30 days this summer. We broke it up into 2 two week visits. However it is ME that is with ss all day while dh works. (I'm a sahm) we ready had the 1st 2 weeks and by the end of those 2 weeks I was so ready for him to be gone!! I feel guilty for feeling that way, too. We didn't do a family vacation this year because our baby was born just a few months ago. Now dh is thinking about taking one...with ss. That doesn't sound like a vacation to me! Silently I wish we could go without ss. And again, I feel guilty for feeling this way. Having ss around this much has had it's toll on me as well as our kids. They enjoy when he plays with them, but he also fights with them. He also introduced my kids to name-calling, teasing, hitting, and certain words (shut up, stupid, etc.) So by the time a weekend visit is over, our kids are ready. Now that ss has spent more time here they keep asking me when he's leaving or when he comes they're like 'he's's here again?' The thing is I k ow it's a two way street. Ss doesn't want to be here either. So that's it. I'm tired of ss and feel like a bad stepmom. I dread his visits. I wish he didn't haveto come and disrupt our routine. All these feelings I hold inside because I know I'll be looked down upon if I admit them. But does anyone ever feel like this too or do you just cope? Am I the only bad stepmom here? Before the move he would visit regularly and I was fine with it. Now though....