I am very young to have 3 kids. 2 of my own. I have a 5 yo from a previous relationship, a 1 yo from my present one along with his 3 yo. I am only 22! We have a long history, and when we got back together he had a 3 month old we couldn't see. He was going through a divorce and had not settled on custody yet cause BM contested everything, including the divorce itself over 5 times. It was just him, my ds5 and myself. It was nice and calm and we were very happy. I was happy. My sons father wasn't in his life so my fdh took that roll very well and they love each other very much. I got pregnant and had my dd1. It was the 3 of us, perfect. A 4 yo and a newborn. Easy peasy. THEN, a custody settlement...We get his 2 yo(at the time) everyother weekend. It turned our world upside down. I was so excited to start getting her, until we got her a few times. It is hell. Everything is nice and quite, relaxed etc til those weekends. All hell breaks loose. She is only 3, but is a monster, just like her mother. I thought "Oh, it will be great, we are going to have such a happy little home when she is here!" NOT. The only time my fdh and I fight is when she is here. Literally, the only time. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, I adore it. But a step-mother, not one bit. And my fdh gets to the point where he says he doesn't want to get her anymore. She hates it here, and it makes us hate it when she is here. It is nothing like being a mother. It is drama drama drama. Keep pursuing your dreams, once you jump on this bandwagon you are tied down to when you have to plan things because of visitation. Be free for a while. AND ENJOY IT. I never got to pursue my dreams, but that was because I got prego at 16 and that was my own fault. I love motherhood more than anything and it is the greatest feeling in the world. I would not give up my babies for anything, but I do wish I would have been smart and went to school and lived my own life for a while. I love my fdh very much but I do wish he wouldn't have had a child. I know its wrong because I had one myself when we got together, but he went straight into it knowing how it would be with my son and I. He loved it. He is Daddy not step daddy. It's different. He will adopt him soon and legally he will be his as well as in his heart. Now taking on a skid that has no mother and was there from the start would be fine, i could have raised her to be sweet and polite like my own kids. But being raised by a psycho changes things, when you have to deal with a child you can't raise yourself. And torments you and your own children when around. I love the fact you are actually thinking of yourself and your own future. Most just jump in and get let down cause it harder than you think. Way harder. Don't feel bad, really. I think you would regret it if you gave up your dreams for something that may not turn out how you expect. Good luck, and remember, you come first.