Hello all! I am going to start with some background I am engaged to a man that has a son with another woman. They were never married. My fiancé was in treatment for anger, alcohol, and substance abuse years before I met him. His son is now 9. I have panic disorder and often get panic attacks. As directed by my doctor I have created a safe space in my bedroom where I have everything I need to calm down. 
 

the Ex and mom of the child often leaves him with her sister. When she has him, he is lucky to spend two days out of the week with her. She is either working or going out to party. 
 

His son has been obsessed with technology ever since Covid started and he couldn't go to school. He won't go outside and make any friends. I have tried so many different things but my fiancé will just give in and let him game or watch tv. 
 

Also the past month his son keeps coming into our room to sleep. I have panic attacks often in the middle of the night so it heightens my anxiety that his son is in the room because I can't be myself and use my calming techniques in my safe space. This morning I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling and he just said well maybe it's my sons safe space too. You'll just have to get over it. He also said that I should just leave and go with my mom on her little vacation instead of being here. It's my house And I have done nothing but good things to make this a home. 
 

I am so hurt that my fiancé says that all I do is hate His son. I completely redid his room, I make him his favorite foods, I help him with homework, I go to his sports, i read with him,  I do art with him and so much more. 
 

i admit that I am upset with his son because he won't listen at all. Yesterday, he decided to play with my equipment and lost part of it. We tried to talk to him about it but my fiancé still hasn't done anything to even get an apology. I tried but his son thinks he is never wrong and my fiancé says that's just how it is. (He gets everything he wants at his moms house). I am also upset because it was recently my birthday and we had both families over to celebrate and my step son didn't make me a card or even say happy birthday. He is just so disrespectful and my fiancé and I talked about it and Nothing has been done so he just is letting it go. I can't let everything go all the time. 
 

should I give up and give back the ring and step away from the situation? I love my fiancé and care about him so much but his sons repeated disrespect and my fiancé's anger is ruining everything. I have apologized to his son if I made a mistake but he never had to me. Does my fiancé really even care about me? His son will always come Before me and I know he is acting this way because he doesn't want to go to court. If his son would say anything about not wanting to come over then his mom would make sure that he doesn't get to visit. Normally this would be a violation but they have never been to court. 
 

i don't know what to do.