A Big dilemma
Hello everyone,
I am new here and I need some advice. I have been with my fiance for 3 yrs. He & the ex havea 7 yr old son together. My fiance has had a visitation order in place since 2009. His son comes and spends every other weekend and amonth in the summers with us. He is the problem. We all get along great..even me and the ex but lately something is up. We had enroll the little guy in camp this summer, like we have done the last 3 yrs. After his summer visit was over. His BM did not come to get him, rather his grandpa made the 150 mile trip to pick him up. Now since this happened, which was about a month ago, her phone has been shut off, the phone we gave the little guy has also been turned off. Now my fiance is in a panic because he has no way to contact his son. So he called the BM parents house...which is where she lives and no one answered the phone. Finally about an hour later the grnadfather called back and said of sorry everyone is busy. When my fiance asked why the pones are off, the grandad stuttered his words and said, well she is so busy working she shut her phone off cause she doesnt need it any more???? HUH Now when my fiance spoke tohis son his son said mommy is away at school??? HUH This is a woman who since Ive known her does not really work and lives off her parents at 36 yrs old...all of a sudden shes in school doesnt add up.
Now, my fiance thinks she is either in rehab or has been arrested for DUI. Neither of those things we can prove however because thier family seems to be covering everything up. So, how can we go about finding out whether these things are going on , because my fiance would like full custody & considering the whole household is a bit unstable..BM's brother also lives there and is a fall down drunk. My fiance wants him out of the environment...What can we do.
Please Help!
Did BM live with her parents
Did BM live with her parents when the order was set in 2009? Did the drunk brother live there? To even have a chance at custody, you need to prove a change of circumstance (among a million other things.)
That said, if she's been arrested it will show on the court website. It's a public record, so you can find it. It may take a little work, though. You could hire a PI to watch the house for her. If you have a house phone to reach her, there's not much you can do there.
Yes she has lived there since
Yes she has lived there since they divorced 5 yrs ago. But the brother recently moved back after losing his apt. We just think the whole thing is quite fishy...and as they say if it doesnt make sense its prob not true.
Call the police there to do a
Call the police there to do a welfare check on the boy. There xould be a county website that could show she is in jail. Otherwise your stuck going there yourselves dealing with her family. Could just ask them where she is and or go to court for a xustody change if you can't reach her and your concerned courts will have access to where she is.
Contact family services or
Contact family services or the police in that area to go over and check on the son. Something is obviously fishy.
Edited to add: If you do go yourself, still call somebody official to meet you there.
I'd be heading to BM'S
I'd be heading to BM'S parent's home for a little "visit" and documenting everything I see.
HMM…I would think that if the
HMM…I would think that if the BM was unable to take care of kid since she is in prison, or ill or whatever….then custody would default to the other parent right?
I mean, the gparents don’t have custody of any sort do they?
And yes...I would be up there so fast thier heads will spin.
You guys are full of amazing
You guys are full of amazing ideas. I am so glad I stummbled upon this site. And its not that I have any ill feelings for this woman. I just think things are a little strange.
Well just checked the courts,
Well just checked the courts, she has not been arrested. Which leads me to believe something else is up. The grandparents do not have custody, but I know they will try to do everything in their power to keep the boy living with them. They will cover up anything they could to keep things the way they are. And I am quite sure that all this secrecy is their way of doing just that. So I guess its time to play eye-spy and satake out the residence. Only thing is that they live on a remote piece of land where casing the house w/o being detected could prove difficult.
Is it possible she's actually
Is it possible she's actually in school?
But if BM is in rehab for
But if BM is in rehab for longer than a week or so...custody should go to the father while the mom is away.
Well I cant imagine shes in
Well I cant imagine shes in school, and if she was why all the secrecy. I am a grad student and I am not embarressed that I am in school...its no secret, so I cant understand why if school was the reason, why the phones would be off and why wouldnt anyone tell my fiance. Just cant come to terms with someone who is so selfish as to deny the father custody...or at the very leat, why if you are trying to fix the mess you have created out of your life, why his son couldnt have stayed with us the whole summer. We would have kept him in camp & probably would not have even known about her covert-op lol
The kids phone is off as well
The kids phone is off as well as the mothers. For all you know they're both buried in the back yard. Daddy needs to go there and take a look. If there is no kid he goes to the local law and tells the story. He expresses fear that his child is in harms way.
Now most likely the kid is just fine and living with Gramps and Mom has the DT's withdrawing from the booze or whatever. But meanwhile a police report of that nature will be handy if he sues for custody.