and the legal bill arrived....
fiance got his final legal bill last night.
he is so pissed upset that he spent all this money (some he was forced to in order to defend BM's BS motions, some he chose to spend (i.e., filing for 50-50) and got nothing/nowhere. the kicker is we mutually agreed to commit up to $20K for this assuming we'd actually get something out of it (maybe that was us being dumb not having gone thru this, i dont know)
we knew 50-50 was a stretch, but he might have been able to get one additional overnight or at least enforcement of the current plan. instead he spent all that money and ended up with less time with SD and has to spend more money annually ($100 for the stupid family wizard and $200 on activities where previously he never had to pay activities). speaking of which, why is it called "our family wizard" - its not "our family". BM and fiance are not family. should be called "whatever SD wants she gets wizard" since SD has full control/dictation over her visitation despite the court ruling otherwise! does he not see its largely his fault that he walked away with nothing/less?
i have no idea why i cant just break this off. im not financially dependent on fiance. we arent married so im not "stuck" in that aspect. i feel its just laziness on my part. maybe its guilt - i am not sure fiance could make it financially without me. housing in our area is very expensive and while he makes good money, so much goes to CS. he's already had to dip into his savings for his legal bills. he pays for food, utilities and all our entertainment/vacations. with what is left he could not afford $2K in rent. i know it shouldnt be my problem, but i guess that's where the oll "but i love him" kicks in, thus guilt.
honestly, both fiance and BM are complete idiots. BM spent easily twice what fiance did; she herself flunked out of school and apparently is in danger of being fired from her only job where she works one day per week (yes, i really said one day per week) because of too many callouts due to SD. do they not see that SD is the reason they are both bleeding their savings? why do they not see if they simply took charge, rather than live in fear of their kid, that all of these problems would disappear (or at least get significantly better)?
sorry for being negative nelly, im just so over it all.
You are right, your fiance's
You are right, your fiance's money problems aren't your problem.
He could probably afford rent if he cut out entertainment/vacations and/or moved to a cheaper place.
I wish we could post really
I wish we could post really large for everyone to read. "It is not worth the money spent to fight for custody, you will not win". BTDT and ultimately gave up. SD is ruined to say the least. All because BM felt she was the better parent. I would like the 10K spent back....
the system is so
the system is so broken.
fiance knew he couldnt go for 50-50 at the time of divorce because he was living with his parents and there was no bedroom for the child. he never would have gotten it.
now he has an appropriate home, close by, but the courts refuse to change anything. and because SD is a bitch nothing will change.
I would like the 12k we got
I would like the 12k we got as a wedding present from my parents spent on legal bills back too.
All we got was a CS order that could have been done by the state.
$130,000 - 3.5 years....8
$130,000 - 3.5 years....8 years AFTER THE DIVORCE.
We got - what we walked in with - but better/more rules
She got - What she came in - with/more rules Oh and she got LESS financially than we offered her at the front end, not to mention the legal bills for the period between!
Guess who is happier? Yes, Us because we "didn't lose". Shes mad because she "didn't win".
And the worst part - shes 100x's crazier TODAY than she was before she took us to court - because SHE DIDN'T WIN.
Its. Not. Worth. It.
i guess what's most baffling
i guess what's most baffling to me is how these BM's can simply ignore the CO and nothing happens. if my fiance missed even one CS payment there'd be a public hanging and denouncement.
I get so frustrated because
I get so frustrated because if I withhold my kids from my exH (never would) I could be held in contempt but he can give up as much custody times as he wants and nothing happens, which he does quite frequently. Can't "force" him to take the kids.
we live in a very expensive
we live in a very expensive urban area. he would easily pay at least $1800 for a ONE bedroom apartment. so yeah, he'd maybe save a bit each month. utilities are piddly ($100 total for electric and gas, on average). he could eliminate cable. vacations etc would then be with SD instead of me.
How did he survive before he
How did he survive before he met you? Why do you care if he can make ends meet once you leave?
I live in NYC. I understand how expensive rent can be. But he doesn't have to move into an $1800 apartment. You can save money here if you're willing to travel a bit. Three subway stops away from the $1800 one bedroom here will get you a two bedroom for $1450. Three stops from that will get you a one bedroom for $1250 (right across the street from a subway station) or a two bedroom for $1100 (about four blocks from the train).
he had to move back in with
he had to move back in with his parents after the divorce.
I care what happens to him because that's just the way I am. I don't wish ill upon anyone (haha, except maybe BM).
he had to move back in with
he had to move back in with his parents after the divorce.
I care what happens to him because that's just the way I am. I don't wish ill upon anyone (haha, except maybe BM).