Very true. On top of being a SM, and a BM i am also a divorc paralegal and we do not use the term "visitation" either it is referred to "parenting time"

I agree with the terminology but lets be honest, many of these men are really just doing 'visitation'. Unless you consider disneyland, guilty parenting 'parenting'.

I don't like the term "visitation" either. Perhaps it should be called parenting time instead. Hopefully that would help dads to not be Disneyland parents as much.

It's called parent time where I live.

Yes! You "visit" the Zoo, not your own children! I agree wholeheartedly. I will call it "parenting time" from now on!

i agree with the theory of "parenting time" but that implies that the parent IS doing more than just play. that's all my SS4's BM does. play. buy new toys. junk food. there's no guidance going on. no direction. no parenting. in my case, "visitation" is all too true...i wish it were otherwise.

and just for the record: women make just as awful "parents" as men.

Sometimes and in some cases it IS JUST "visitation" - sort of like a child's sleepover with a "wealthy" BFF that can afford to "treat" them to "fun" all the time.

IMO it's only "parenting time" when the parent is actually parenting the child during that time.

i don't really have a problem with the terminology ever coming up.... but i do refer to times as "when skids are at home (bms)" and "when skids are here (at mine & dh's home)".

I think it isnt the right word in a lot of situations, but in ours kiddo quite literally visits with his mother. when she feels like being 'involved' she might get him one day a week for about 5 hours on that day. when she isnt feeling quite so selfless, she might see him once every five months or so - for a major holiday, for 2 to maybe 6 hours and then thats it till the next time. there is certainly no parenting going on when he is with her... perhaps "brainwashing time" is what it should be called in our case. but our uniquely F'ed up situation aside, i do agree that it is demeaning of the other parents' role in the childs life to call it visitation.

but if there is actual parenting going on, and a dedication to the child, why don't they have partial custody?

People that I know personally with court orders have Custody time instead of visitation. But I certainly don't think my SO's kids are being parented when they do see their mom.