Am I really the bad guy in all of this?
When my hubby and I married I took on 3 children that were not mine, but I treated as mine. We had custody of them. We also had my two. Through the years we kept all of the bad stuff from his children. The mothers affairs before the divorce, the drugs, etc, her spending habits. She left a step child home alone at 6-7 yrs old - just drove off. She eventually remarried, then left him and moved in with another man claiming to have divorced the last one. I had proof she never did. She uses our name and has for years. Said it was for the kids even though she wouldn't keep up paying her child support for her kids. I wanted a child with hubby which meant a reversal for him. Well he didn't go through the second round for me to have one so I have had to live in pain. His kids have grown up and away from us. They don't come over very often. A daughter moved out of state. I found out she was coming down on accident so pinned her to see her dad. SHe would not have if she didn't have to even though she was here for a week. The thing is I have been mom, dad, everything to these kids and get know props, no thanks no nothing. They all - even one of mine seem to hate me. I was there for sports, school, good times, bad times, carpool, sickness, everything while hubby worked 7 days a week 12 - 16 hrs a day. The ex was doing drugs and running with all kinds of men. Why am I the bad guy? When we renewed our vows - and we wanted everyone there because we married at JP alone first time - one son worked instead. The daughter in law acted like a wild indian, and the long away daughter's mil butted in and told me to stay out of her life. All we wanted was to celebrate with the whole family. I gave my everything to those kids since I wasn't allowed to have one. All I got was mean, ugly, hateful kids out of it. I don't know about anyone else, but forgiveness is something that is awful hard. The ex seems to think things are fine. The kids that were mistreated by her think she is awesome. She stole from her two. She used another daughter in law to do pics when one daughter came in - seems she is rubbing this in my face. I so cannot stand all of this. It is killing me and I wish my husband would talk to his kids and say something!
Step-parenting is the most
Step-parenting is the most thankless task that exists and to boot is often the one blamed for everything while the do-nothing bio parent is eulogized as a paragon of virtue.
It seems hard wired in the human race's brain that there is no substitute for the bio-mother. Or perhaps its because she is the one that held us while we were being fed and otherwise tended to as infants.
I chuckled when I read your reference to "wild Indian" - I haven't heard that since Political Correctness ran amok in the land. Methinks you've given away your age as I've given mine.
Anyway you've got to put any thought of receiving your just rewards out of your mind and enjoy your husband of many years and bio-children. Stop trying to make your steps into nice children for your husband and you'll take a good step forward.
Now is only there was a way
Now is only there was a way to make her quit using our last name. A woman can use any name she has ever had. She would have to do something "against" the name to make the name look bad...was hot checks, jail, being married to one man and living with another all the while using our last name, not enough? She is still legally married to the man and has been since the early to mid 90s. They haven't lived together since a year or two after they married. She was a dead beat mother - not a mom because that name is earned. She stole her children's money out of their bank accounts more than once. This woman is just unbelievable. Her and the live-in built a home, bought a trailer, and a bass boat while not being able to pay support....loser
Anyway, I am working on my classes right now, going for HR Professional..once I am done, it is off to work. As soon as the new property is bought, we will pack up and move away from here. I can't wait. Just me and him, and the pets!