Adult Conversation
This is a work in progress. I am so fucking sick of SD interjecting in conversations between me and DH that have nothing to do with her. She'll pick up on something and ask a question (such as "when" or "who" or something like that) and DH interrupts the flow of our conversation to answer her inquiry. Or the time when he picked up a pic of his younger self and showed it to me, spoke directly to me looking me in the eye, and SD runs over to him, starts talking and he doesn't bother to even seek my response anymore...This is COMPLETELY on him 100% because he (and the other adults in SF's life) have never taught her that not every conversation involves her. I want to be clear, this isn't all the time, SD is extremely well behaved, and it's not rudeness on her part. But she's 10, and I want him to nip this in the bud NOW before it's too late. He raised one mini-wife who has not spoken to him for almost 3 years because he finally laid down the law with her and wouldn't leave me, and I'm not gonna stand by and watch my sweet SD turn into that kind of monster.
So, after a couple of months of shooting DH dirty looks and kicking him under tables when SD interrupts and he just goes with her flow, I told him tonight that if it happens again this week, I will be making plans on my own for the weekend so he can spend time with his true life partner. I'm so sick of him allowing her to butt in and in many cases, derail our conversation, and in some instances taking her interaction as a sufficient substitute for mine.
Oh, and he has finally
Oh, and he has finally started shutting her down, but he's just not paying close enough attention. How fucking hard can it be to recognize when you are talking to your SPOUSE and a CHILD butts in?? Am I missing something????
I have a 10 yr old that does
I have a 10 yr old that does this constantly n when she speaks I place the palm of my hand up towards her n I finish my conversation n repeatedly address her n say ~ excuse I was having a conversation.
I do the same with my seven
I do the same with my seven year old.
My sd13 has been doing this
My sd13 has been doing this since I met her 4.5 years ago. I HATE it!!!!
I keep telling her to stop interrupting, eavesdropping etc...but it does not stop. She does this as well when I am talking to my DS14. Gwad!!! I just what to say "Shut the fuck up girl!!!!"
But no - I don't say that - I guess I have to be mature and just remind her not to interrupt.
My SD 6 already does this.
My SD 6 already does this. "Who??" "Who did?" "What are you talking about?" They just like to think they're a part of adult conversations. Or else she'll try to relate some kiddie story of hers to something we're talking about. It can be super annoying, but I just turn around and roll my eyes so nobody can see. Lucky for me my DH ignores her interruptions until he's done talking otherwise I'd probably explode.
Thanks...I'm glad I'm not
Thanks...I'm glad I'm not alone. I really needed to vent.
My SD6 does something similar
My SD6 does something similar to GoodBye's SD. It's annoying as hell. I'm always the one to tell her that it's rude to interrupt and to wait until we're done talking to say something to us. My husband doesn't notice. *rolls eyes*
My DH finally started holding
My DH finally started holding up his hand when skids interrupted after I (privately) had a mini hissy fit.
Told him that allowing skids to interrupt while we are conversing 1) devalues ME and what I am saying, and 2) encourages bad manners. The first time this happened after our conversation when DH allowed it, I walked away. Several minutes later, he came to find me and asked me to continue. I refused. And it was an important conversation! Said that if seeing what PrincASS15 had accomplished on a video game that obviously impacted the universe was more important, then I had nothing to say. Only took once.
Sally, we're not evil! Well,
Sally, we're not evil!
Well, maybe just a little...
Aniki: "Said that if seeing
Aniki: "Said that if seeing what PrincASS15 had accomplished on a video game that obviously impacted the universe was more important, then I had nothing to say. Only took once."
Dang. Power to you, Not there yet since I still get interrupted, but I'm admiring your power, spirit, whatever ...
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Indigo, I had a very strict
Indigo, I had a very strict upbringing - both my parents were in the military. Children were seen and not heard. Lord help us if we were rude enough to interrupt! My parents were the only ones allowed to bring children to the General's house because we were the only children on the entire base who behaved as we were taught!
I suppose it's unfortunate in a way because I have very little tolerance for today's children. I find them to be EXTREMELY rude, insolent, annoying, spoiled, and ridiculously entitled. Then again, I don't have to worry about getting in trouble with DCFS because any kid of mine who acted like my skids would be getting butt whoopings!
OSD in particular will do
OSD in particular will do this when DH and I are talking. It's really bad if I am showing him something on my phone like a picture or text message. She will suddenly run over going 'what? what? Can I see it?' I just shut off the phone screen and ignore her, luckily DH does too. If she ever does manage to get into our conversation, I just walk away.
Yes! SD does this too! Or
Yes! SD does this too! Or even if I am not showing DH something and just randomly browsing online SD will try to look at my phone screen and be like "can I see what you're doing??" Um, no.
My SD (now 6) used to do this
My SD (now 6) used to do this all the time and it drove me nuts! Finally I freaked on her one day and yelled at her to stop interrupting people when they are talking! Now, if she ever does it, I remind her to not interrupt people when they are talking. I understand why you think DH should handle this- it is his kid after all- but if he isn't going to, it might just be easier for you to tell her yourself.
I would correct this myself,
I would correct this myself, as it do with my BD7, except, as you all know, things can get tricky in step-families. I am partially disengaged from SD, due to prior abuse allegations against me made to the police by BM after SD told her that I had spanked her and a couple of DH's relatives (okay, my adult SD and FIL--AFTER they moved out because they were mad at me...if they were so concerned about my treatment of SD, I've wondered, why didn't they ever speak up before???) told BM that I'm "meeeeeaaaaan" to SD. Not wanting to disappoint mommmmmmmyyyyyyyy, SD went along with it until, of course, she had a detective and two officers asking her about the allegations. So, I choose to not put myself in that position. Instead, I remind DH each and every time how unpleasant of a person I'm capable of becoming. I have no problem ruining an entire weekend or several weekdays to show him how much I dislike when he takes a child's interaction as a suitable substitute fore mine.
But, like I said, he's making progress. I'm also upping the ante--seriously, how hard is it to recognize when your child is butting in?? I know it's not that hard, so from now on, I will silently remove myself and activate silent treatment, as well as make plans for myself.
Not interrupting adults is a
Not interrupting adults is a house rule because it bothered me. I couldn't believe SO was giving little girls the mic. When they tried to interrupt after we made rules, I've cut them off or used sarcasm.
"Ummmm, we were talking. Bye!" Waving until she leaves.
Or "Geeeee, that's sooooo interesting, SD. NOT. Go play with the other KIDS."
Or to SO:
"Babe, did you notice how your daughter interrupted us? Yeah, can you make that not happen again?" ...while glaring at SD.
They haven't done it much, and now SO catches it. He doesn't care about their opinions either. He was just trying to be nice. Rewarding bad manners. What would he do without me telling him that it's okay to be disliked by your kids? It happens to the BEST of us.
Good for you for trying to
Good for you for trying to nip this in the bud.
For me, it's unfortunately too late. My SS is 15 and he routinely interrupts conversations between me and DW.
Typically DW will start a conversation with me, fully intending ME to hear her story...SS jumps in like the tall little "Conversation hijack fairy" that he is, ask a couple of seemingly innocent questions like "who are you talking about" or "when did that happen".
Rather than tell the kid, "SS, please don't interrupt, I was talking to Drac0." DW will actually turn to face him to answer his question, she won't be able to turn back to me to continue talking because SS will undoubtedly have a follow up question; like "Is that the guy you work with?" or "This was when we were living with Daddy right?"...
By now, SS has steered DW's attention completely away from me and she is now talking to him.
I have picked up the habit of just getting up and walking away when this happens.
SD has hijacked a few
SD has hijacked a few conversations in that same fashion. NO MORE! DH is completely on notice. And I can be EXTREMELY unpleasant. I'm just so fucking over all the goddamn issues that our marriage and partnership has had to endure due to DH's lack of boundaries with everyone. One foot out the door and he knows it. He's improving, but damn..,FIVE YEARS of BS when I could have been doing my own thing. I must really love this guy. I've left others for much, MUCH smaller infractions.
Interupting conversations
Interupting conversations doesn't bug me as much as it used to.
I guess it would bother me if SS only interrupted conversations between me and and DW but SS does this with EVERYONE DW talks to. The only times DW will actually put him in his place is if we are at a party/family gathering and DW has had a couple of glasses of wine. Yeah I know, being drunk actually makes my DW a better parent in this regard. I know it's not right. That's like saying "I'm actually a better driver after a few beers."
Her lowered inhibitions make
Her lowered inhibitions make her not give a shit about hurting pwecious wittle feewings. More wine for Mrs. Drac0!!