17 Year old stepson stealing for porn.
Hello, I have raised my stepson for the last 7 years because his mother could not handle him. I have dealt with a lot of thing in these 7 years but I ready to give up because he took my debit card and bought porn. Now my account is overdrawn 235.00. My husband is only treating to take a way his truck and that's it. I have younger kids and I do not want them to see that its ok to steal. What do I do?
I would notify the
I would notify the authorities. Maybe a stint in jail/juvie is what SS needs to straighten up and Dad will have to be willing to continue to get him help once he's released. And keep your money and credit cards in an area SS will not know about for a good, long while.
Make him get a part-time job
Make him get a part-time job and pay it back. No need to call the authorities. Lots of manual labor around the house works well too. And take away the truck.
Good grief. My SS is 12...now
Good grief. My SS is 12...now I know what I've got to look forward to in a few years.
Definitely notify the authorities. Why should he be allowed to get away with something you wouldn't let anyone else get away with. Kids need to learn that their choices have consequences, and not always pleasant ones.
This is a little beside the point, but why the hell would anyone steal for porn? I've heard that it can be had for free all over the internet.
We had the porn problem with
We had the porn problem with SS also believe me it will not get better only worse. It is an addiction.
First off taking away his truck is a pretty good idea imo. I would not give it back to him until he mows enough lawns or throws enough papers to pays back every penny he spent plus the bank charges!
Your HUSBAND should put the money into your account until SS can pay it back. He is responsible for his son's actions not you!
I would make that kid do all sorts of chores around the house to learn responsibility and consequences for his actions. Don't let him off too easy.
YOU should put a porn blocker on your internet like NET NANNY because your SS will not stop and the younger children could get on there and have access to it too.
Thanks for the comments. I
Thanks for the comments. I would do all of that but my husband make me out to be the bad guy because im so mad at his son. Why would I not be mad? Im at the point im ready to say the hell with him and flush 12 years down the drain.We have two kids together and he is harder on them. Maybe thats why they behave and he does not understand this. Wow really.I did tell him that Im done with his son. In the past he has gave my kids a bloody nose and lip. Did his dad get on to him? no of course not.
"Im at the point im ready to
"Im at the point im ready to say the hell with him and flush 12 years down the drain"
If he's going to make you out to be the bad guy instead of pulling his head out of his a$$ and TRULY trying to help his kid, maybe that's what you need to do. In fact, if this kid has physically assaulted your kids, that IS what you need to do.
And I'd still call the authorities, so you can do your part to make sure that SS doesn't do this to someone else and their kids.
^^I agree with Anon here.
^^I agree with Anon here. There's no reason to allow this to go on and if he's physical with your kids, that needs to be severely punished.
i'd work him like a yard dog
i'd work him like a yard dog around the house- he can scrub the siding with a toothbrush for 5 bucks, and maybe the driveway next for another 5 bucks. with NO down time- school, homework, WORK, dinner, bedtime. i'd hire a BABYSITTER and have their salary come out of his 'wages' (i'm sure at 17 he'd love that). i'd also remove everything from his room except the bed, dresser, and clothes. he can earn them back after he's done paying his sitter and you back.
but i'm just evil like that.
unfortunately, u're DH sounds a lot like mine, will threaten alot but rarely follow through with ANY (let alone appropriate) consequences. not much parenting you can do outside of what the actual parent does. but i'd make DAMN clear to my own kids "if you do this, your ass is grass and i promise you i will follow through."
$235 worth of porn!?!? The
$235 worth of porn!?!?
The hell?!?!?
Adult channels on regular cable feed cost less than $5........so I hear
I mean, my dad would have given me a whack upside the head for stealing and ANOTHER whack for getting ripped off.
There's porn on the internet?
There's porn on the internet?
Report this as theft to the
Report this as theft to the debit card issuer. Press any charges necessary. If you do anything less than this you are in fact "gifting" him this money and teaching him to be a thief. Don't let anyone pressure you do "let this go."
If you do not follow thru on this - well accept the consequences. You will have a thief in your home and family the rest of your life.
Put a fraud alert on your
Put a fraud alert on your credit cards with all the credit bureaus. If he's got your credit card number, he can use it again. Report that particular card stolen. Porn can be an addiction and he's unlikely to stop without help. DH needs to get him some help. DH needs to take this seriously.
My own daughter used my credit card without my permission. It was just dumb stuff, pizza, fast food, etc. I tried everything -- paying it back from her own paycheck, taking away privileges, doing extra work, taking away her car, pleading, whatever. Finally stopped when I reported the charge as fraudulent and provided her contact information. Broke my heart to do that but I'll be damned if anybody will take advantage of me like that, even my own kid. Then her asshole boyfriend broke up with her when the gravy train stopped. Damn, I should have made that call way earlier.