so Im SS's SM but your just moms "boyfriend?"
I'm a little confused right now and mad. My FH is home today on his day off with his two boys and my BD13 is home from school. Now BD13 and FH get along fine..but he has never tried to "father" her...and I don't ask him to. She is old enough that she is pretty indepedant. BUT at the same time he is an adult in her life and should not put me in the middle if an adult situation comes up.
This is what just happened. BD13 came home from school at 230 with her friend and FH was not home..So BD and her friend took out 10 chicken wings to cook - 5 each. So I guess FH came home with his two boys and his friend and his friend (who is ALWAYS around now) helped BD cook the chicken. So than he said "I'm hungry" Well BD didn't offer him or anyone else any. FH sends me a text at work telling me that I have to talk to her when I get home because he found this rude.
I told him that yes..it was rude that she should have at least offered his friend one since he helped her cook them.but for FH and his two boys..honestly she started cooking when he wasn't even home yet and only took out enough for her and her friend.
So in anycase..I text my BD and ask her if she was done cooking and if she offered anyone any. She said no. I told her don't you think that was rude. She said well there wasn't enough. I said I know but if "friend" helped you cook and than stated he was hungry you should have at least offered him a couple. She apologized and I told her to apologize to him.
So FH sends me a text ALLL PISSED off saying "WTF..I told you to talk to her when you got home..this is why I don't tell you shit?" WHAT!!!! He is comparing apples to oranges. I told him well the conversation came up and I addressed it. She was rude and I wanted her to apologize. HE said again. "I told you to wait until you got home"
So I than went on to tell him that as her STEPFATHER he should have addressed it when he saw it happen .That I address SS if it happens..so why can't he give my daughter the same treatment?
I also told him I don't appreciate being sworn at.
So tell me this..can anyone understand WHY he was so mad that I didn't wait til' I got home like he told me?
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tattle tale
Basically, he told mommy on her and put himself at the same level as your BD. He got mad because by doing something right then (which is the right thing to do) it brought attention to the fact that he told mommy on her. If he didn't want to feel he had given up power in the situation, he should have dealt with the situation like an adult. You didn't do anything wrong.
Agreed
I am sure this is exactly why he was mad. He should have addressed it himself. He simply could have said "why don't you offer him one or two, he is a guest." I am sure she would have. He made a big deal out of nothing.
casper
That was my first thought..that he knew that she would know that he snitched..thus he was putting himself on a highschool level. I don't care..I'm the adult..when SS does something wrong I have no qualms about telling SS "I will be telling your father" . The situation wasn't taht big of a deal that he couldn't have handled it himself..she IS still young..and once I talked to her about it ,she realized she was wrong and apologized.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
Boy kaff
Isn't it funny how as mothers who have raised our children with manners and the common sense to know or at least realize when they have done something wrong they will "after saying "hey did you do this" say oh snap(as my 12 year old son says)Sorry mom you are right, in most cases with my kids I say "what do you need to do" or my kids will say "I better go appologize" all on there own.. Now SD would never get it. And not only that but DH tells SD Appologize and she refuses it takes dh 30+ minutes (and he actually does this for 30 minutes) to say sorry. Now if it were me & SD was my kid after telling her 2 maybe 3 times she would get a good slap and sent on her way to her room. Most people teach their children sympathy at 2 or 3? as well as the unknown word to sd "THANK YOU"
Just the rest of the dense men population.....
FH feels dumb about telling on her but that was the right thing for you to do. Address it NOW!! Not later and if FH feels dumb then maybe next time (for one thing BD will stop and think about it next time) and may FH will be a big boy take BD aside and say "don't you think that was kind of rude?" DUH DUH DUH
How would he like it if everytime SS's did something you called him at work for dumb BS.. And how do you wait till 5 hours later and expect anyone to learn something?
MEN ARE DENSE SOMETIMES!!!! Not you though RAGS, MSLOAN86, Kevin the man
crayon
My thoughts EXACTLY....he IS VERY IMMATURE in ALOT of ways..he wants another child and I have continually told him..no way..buddyy...not the way you raise your children now..you need to grow up more.
We talked about it last night...I told him I just expect you to take care of my child HALF as much as I take care of yours..I don't expect you to discipline her like I do yours as my BD is older but in a situation like that..step up to the plate and show her who is the adult and role model. It's not like she doesn't allow him to do things like that, in fact she would welcome it.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"