Should I mention this to DH? OT
Ok, for those of you who don't know...
My son's spermdad has never been part of our lives. My husband met my son when he was a week old, married me when my son was 7 months old... and today my son is 20 months old. He is the ONLY father figure my son has ever had, and he will be legally adopting at some point.
Well, he refers to him as "my son" with everybody... and tells me he loves him as his own...
And of course, there is also SD5 that he had with his girlfriend at the time.
Well, my husband's best friend (who lives in DH's home state and whom I met once at our wedding in which he was part of)...
They talk a lot on the phone, they probably call each other at least 5 times a week or so... sometimes a few times in a day...
And this friend ALWAYS says "how is SD5?" and NEVER says "how are the kids" or "how is SD5" and then "how is S1"
When my husband's family calls they always ask for both of them, when my family calls they always ask for both of them as well, they ask "how are the kids?" or one by one...
How do I know that he never asks for my son? because I can hear DH's answer saying "she is fine, she is blah blah blah...."
Isn't that a little rude? have in mind that this friend became a father for the 1st time with twins...not long ago...
QUESTION: should I just let this silliness pass? or should I mention it to my husband the next time he does it? OR should I mention it without waiting for the friend to do it again...
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Comments
Neither of you can control
Neither of you can control what his friend does or says...maybe because he knows SD5 he asks about her? I would assume if they talk that much your DH mentions your son on his own anyways. Just let it go...
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
....
he met my son when he came for the wedding... (he was here for about 3 days)
And DH does mention him every now and then...
like the other night ... i guess the friend asked something baby related... because DH answered something like " i don't remember with her, but I do remember with the little one"
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
It could be a baby thing
Some people aren't that much interested in them. Meeting a 7 month-old can be a forgettable experience, especially to people who don't see babies as actual people (ie. most men). Five year-olds are easier to relate to and interact with. And it could also be that your husband may have asked his friend for advice about raising SD5, or vented something to him about her (especially if she recently hit the "no to both parents" stage) so that's what sticks in DH's friend's mind.
I wouldn't sweat it. I'd give it more time, let the friend meet your son again, now that his personality has emerged a bit more, and then see what happens. It's very easy to become offended where our own little people are concerned. Save your energy and pick your battles.
Thanks selkie
you said a key phrase... "pick your battles" that's what i'm trying to do...
I don't wanna argue with DH. I just wanted to mention it... don't know what for? :?
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
I think there are always going to be those+++
who will never acknowledge your new family as a unit. Like others have said, there's nothing you can do about outsiders...just blow them off. My FH's mother still treats me and my kids like we are just a separate family. On Thanksgiving, she was going to come have Thanksgiving with us and when plans changed and SD8 ended up going to her BM's parents for dinner, his mother decided to not even come over. She didn't care to spend the holiday with anyone except her granddaughter. And every single one of his friends ask how SD8 is and never about me or my kids, so I just try to overlook it. I hate it...but there's nothing I can do about that one.
OMG
One of DH's friend's father (he was the one who married us) said this the other day... he made a comment about "your new wife" I was next to DH and it bothered me... is like... WE have been married for a year now... and DH never married anybody else... so WTF???
I let it go, of course... maybe it was just choosing the wrong word...
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
Many people consider married
Many people consider married 1 year still new.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
yeah it is...
but saying "wife" is enough... especially when there hasn't been a previous wife...
*you would think*
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's
true, I agree. I think its
true, I agree. I think its mostly old people that do it! I also hate "exwife, exhusband", although everyone uses that. I think once you're divorced you should permanently be stripped of the wife or husband title. It should just be EX! haha
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
funny
My mom only speaks spanish...
In spanish husband is ESPOSO so when my parents got divorced my mom used to call my dad the "EXposo" (instead of Ex esposo)
~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's