Finally getting over it.
I think that I am finally getting over all the awful things that were said by SDs on and around Mother's Day. I didn't think that I ever would but then this past weekend had a huge fight with DH where he basically told me that he doesn't see any of the things/effort I've put in to being a SM. I realized that it doesn't matter what SDs say or what DH says. I know that I have done my best and tried my hardest. Once I realized that I realized that I can just keep doing what I've been doing and stay true to myself. No matter what I do it doesn't make a difference to DH or SDs. I only need to worry about doing what I think is right. They say the joy is in the act, not the result.
- gremy725's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
The joy is in the act...
Yes, but sometimes the joy is also in having the ones around you that you share your love with reciprocate that love as well. I would love for FH to show me the same care and attention that I shower on him. Although I realize we are two different people with two different mindsets, sometimes I want to be spoiled as well, the way I spoil him. BUT, FH can say the same to me. He does things for me that I don't do for him.
Also, acknowledgement doesn't hurt, either. I don't think I can continue to work so hard for the family if it goes unnoticed, or is being taken for granted.
I think if FH told me that he doesn't see the things/effort I've put in to being a SM, I would seriously consider violence. At that point, I will choose to disengage.
Wouldn't that be nice
It would be so very wonderful if someone in my household appreciated/noticed the things that I do but they don't and truthfully I don't have the foggiest idea how to get them to. The only thing I can do is try to take care of myself.
Violence is never the answer - too much extra clean up after!!!
BF's can be so insensitive!
My DH (and I don't really mean the D part) didn't even mention Mother's Day to me! Not one word of "thank you for all the crap you've had to put up with...no thanks for making sure they were treated like a biological part of your family...no thanks for compensating for my sorry butt which is too lazy to do anything with my own kids."
Nope not one single word.
So yesterday he had the audacity to ask me what we were planning on this weekend. I looked at him and said, well I'm assuming that you are picking up your kids, what you do with them after that is your business. He looked shocked!!!! (Good, that was the point of it all!) He said, well what are you going to do? To which I answered, "I am going to celebrate Father's Day with MY father."
(You see up until this point, even the first year that we started dating I gave him Father's Day gifts b/c I thought it was terrible that BM didn't encourage that when he still had them get her Mother's Day gifts.)
Anyway, he continued with oh, so we are all going to your parents? "No, you are going to have a weekend ALONE with YOUR kids! I'm doing the same thing for Father's Day that you did for me on Mother's Day." I gave him a moment to think of what he had done, you could really see him searching!
Then I interjected with, "that's right, you didn't do ANYTHING for me, you didn't even say 'thank you'! So you will get the same treatment from me! I'm tired of your abuse and I'm tired of you pawning the kids off on me! Since I get no recognition then I'm not doing anymore work with them."
His mouth was literally gaping open!
So then I added, "And while we're add it, tell me, why you didn't drink and treat your ex like you treat me, but for some reason you find it perfectly acceptable to treat me with total disregard, you find it OK to get drunk all the time, you find it acceptable to hit me, to verbally abuse me. If you love her so much, go back, I'm sure the lazy ***** will take you back with open arms!"
My lecture went on for about 30 minutes. This was after his mother had called and chewed him out for 30 minutes regarding how he was treating me.
I just can't wait to be free from all this craziness!