The Complete Idiot's Guide to Stepparenting mentioned something called "Super Stepmom Syndrome". I don't have the book handy, but it mentioned how many stepmom's get overinvolved. It actually talks about "SSS" negatively and says that while you have good intentions, you will just cause bitterness and resentment in the BM. Well guess what. The decisions I make are to benefit my SS. If I'm an overachiever, it's only because I want to do a really good job. No one can be hurt by this. His BM is a good mother, what does she have to be insecure about? She has spent most of her life not having to work. She's started working since the divorce 3 years ago, lucky for her, her father owns a big company and she gets paid a lot of money to do very little. However, she's taken up some hobbies recently that keep her out of town at least once a month... maybe she's feeling some inadequacies because of this? And taking it out on me? I think a lot of our tension is because we are both young and attractive. It's a natural competition. She's the ex that I wish was never in my lover's life and I'm the newcomer she doesn't ever want to be close to her son. She mentioned how my SS talks about me all the time to my DH (in an annoying way). I guess I'm just doing a good job and she doesn't like sharing the spotlight!