Ugh! Being a SM is miserable!
Everytime my SS11 visits, my H wants to make it a vacation of nonstop fun. WTH? I keep telling him he has guilty dad syndrome, but he says no. H wants to call in sick to work for the time SS11 is on summer visitation (15days June, 15 days July) H refuses to plan fun when SS is not with us...why? We have two BD's and life isn't supposed to stop when SS leaves. This is so frustrating and it is seriously affecting our marriage. It doesn't help that the BM is nuts, really, she has been in and out of rehab.
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I failed to mention that the
I failed to mention that the 'love' or 'like' between me and SS just isn't there. My husband is trying to shove it down both of our throats, and it makes us both uncomfortable. He wants me to love SS like my BD's. Not gonna happen. H and I created our BD's together. I grew them in my body.
H constantly tells SS to give me hugs or kisses. No thanks. The latest is H telling SS "did you say hi to your SM? Go give her a kiss". NO! Say hi, fine. No hugs, no kisses. Stop forcing it! It just makes things worse!
I agree
My FH went so far as to not even bother with groceries when the darling skids weren't around...as if we weren't supposed to eat if they weren't home?! I put my foot down on that in a huge way!!!
I'd rather be a bitch than a doormat and sometimes these guys need a bitchy wakeup call.
Exactly!!
That's exactly how I feel. It took a while to get DH to come around to that way of thinking as well, but he agrees with me now. I let him know that he was setting himself up for a nightmare if every SD visit was fun-filled and constantly on the go. I made the point 'She already expects it at 8, what do you think she's going to want/expect when she's a teenager?!' It really made him think. We have a BS3, and last year almost every time I would want to take him somewhere I'd get 'we can do that when SD9 is here'. I finally started telling him I was going to take BS3 wether he came along or not and that we could do it again when SD9 was here. It worked.
Maybe you two need some
Maybe you two need some counseling, so the counselor can point out to your H that HE IS guilt parenting, because I guess he cannot see it. I feel sorry for your BD's, how old are all these kids?