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Men's responses about divorce

melis070179's picture

These survey questions from Men's Health is part of one of my classes, and I thought I'd share some of it with ya'll...

What is the number one reason you and your wife split up?

▪ She was unfaithful 22%

▪ We grew apart 21%

▪ We fell out of love 16%
▪ We argued constantly 13%
▪ No longer sexually attracted 5%
▪ I was unfaithful 3%
▪ Other 20%

90% have thought about having sex ...

...with their ex spouses during or after their divorces.

75% have discussed ...

...having sex with their ex spouses during or after their divorces.

30% have "experienced" ...

...sex with their ex spouses during or after their divorces.

"Are you 'friends' with your ex-wife?" (men were asked).

▪ Yes
34%

▪ No
66%

Age at marriage for those who eventually divorced in the United States, 1990

Women
Men

▪ Under 20 years old
27.6%
11.7%

▪ 20 to 24 years old
36.6 %
38.8%

▪ 25 to 29 years old
16.4%
22.3%

▪ 30 to 34 years old
8.5%
11.6%

▪ 35 to 39 years old
5.1%
6.5%

Custody arrangements desired by the parents

Mothers want Fathers want:

Sole possession to mother
82% 29%

Sole possession to father
3% 33%

Joint possession
15% 35%

Other - 3%

How is child custody decided?

51% agreed on their own

29% settled without third party involvement

11% decided during mediation

5% resolved differences after a custody evaluation

4% went to trial (of the 4% that initiated litigation, only 1.5% actually completed it)

Percentage of "very happy" first marriages (self-described) in the United States

▪ 54% in 1976

▪ 38% in 1996

What percent of parents stop visiting their children at least annually after a breakup?

47% of fathers

30% of mothers

Cost to raise a child

The composite costs of raising a child have been estimated at between $200,000 and $250,000.

Note: These costs related to all children, on average, regardless of marital status, relationship, or involvement of the child's parents.

Child support awards from non-custodial parents

Less than half of single mothers are awarded child support from the fathers

Approximately 25% of fathers are awarded child support from the mothers

Note: Approximately half of all mothers receive full payment of child support ordered.

Received "some" of the money due to them from child support
76% of mothers
63% of fathers

Comments

melis070179's picture

Theres a couple articles on the effects of an absent dad after divorce as well...it ALL shocks me! This is for an education class, I have to research the effects of divorce on children...of course of the 15 topics there are the teacher assigns this one to ME!!! ugh...such a complicated topic.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

melis070179's picture

yes, thats sad. A lot of those numbers are probably from long distance relationships...when one parent moves away for work or a new spouse or whatever. I went through this myself, my dad and mom divorced when I was 2 & 10 years later he moved across the country with my stepmom & half sibs when he got laid off...he moved where his family had moved. From the ages of 12-17, I saw my dad 3 times (3-4 weeks during summers). The number isn't referring to just right after divorce, it covers a 15 year period...so the # doesn't mean that all these dads have permanetly walked away necessarily.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

Sebbie's picture

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

Why would 90% of men even contemplate for one second being with their ex wives sexually? 75% have discussed being with them sexually? 30% have actually crawled back into these crazy assed women's beds!!! I for one would not want my p.o.s. ex husband to come anywhere near me with that thing of his ever agian, and I certainly do not want to entertain the idea that my wonderful dh could ever think of his nasty ex like that, even if he has.....yuuuuuuk!!

melis070179's picture

I am sure this is more out of habit and lack of a different sexual partner, during and immediately following the divorce, then the ex-wife herself. I am sure once the guy has moved on and found someone new this is no longer the case!

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

melis070179's picture

Mine too. Still does. Its been over 4 years. But he hasn't moved on, and the requests stop once he's got a new girlfriend. My ex-boyfriend does the same thing (the one guy I dated between my exH & my DH).

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

Sebbie's picture

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

Funny and my sentiments exactly. Still I wonder what the percentage would be of ex wives that think, talk about or actually do have sex with their ex's? I do know that my dh's ex would pounce at the chance to get him in the sack agian, I however, feel like you, didnt enjoy it while married to my ex, so why do it agian.

melis070179's picture

We need to find a survey in a women's magazine about this! No way would I ever sleep with ANY OF my exes ever again, even if I wasn't married. Well, thats not true..I'd sleep with the young one that was just a fling LOL But he's engaged now and I'm married Smile DEFINITELY not my exH though.

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"