I'm very very LOST in this path...

I will tell my story, for the first time, I apologize because it will be too long and maybe lots of unnecessary details...

I got a job at a company and met a man whom later on I developed a crush on, and I also knew he kinda had something going on for me, I was 21, he was 27. I always saw him early in the mornings and at our break and sometimes when it was time to leave, we were not working in the same department, but we had a mutual physical attraction going on, that was for weeks. One day, a few coworkers (about 15) some people I was kinda close with and some others I barely knew...and myself went to a restaurant and then to a bar, he was at the bar! we were drinking and talking a LOT!!! we both got drunk and made out (everybody else had left already but one of my closest friends) well... I went home (i was living by myself) and the next day's afternoon he called my cell phone (he never told me where he got it from) he invited me to go out for dinner, well, I said yes, he picked me up, we had a GREAT time, he said he had something important to tell me, and was not going to tell me until the end of the dinner, well ok, no big deal, but, in the middle of the dinner, he got a phone call and had to "immediately" leave, it was some sort of emergency, whatever... he said the dinner was on his credit card, so I could order whatever I wanted... okkk... I was kinda shocked... he left, I left almost right away... never heard from him until monday...

When my friend at work told me she needed to talk to me that morning, she told me that he was married...

ughhh... WTF????? I had never seen him with a ring!!! OMG :jawdrop: i was soooo shocked and depressed, another dude playing with me... he didn't go to work that day, but the next day he said he needed to talk to me, I didn't want to, I told him that I knew he was married, he was a worthless piece of crap and I didn't want to see him again... he started crying... saying that he wanted to tell me, he is married, but he doesn't love her blah blah blah... I told him to leave me alone, he kept calling apologizing, saying he was so confused and he admitted that he "used" me because he was hurt that his wife cheated on him, oh and also! that one night we were having dinner, the emergency was that his 5 year old was taken to the E.R because she broke her ankle...

Anyway... time passed by, I would see him around, but we didn't talk, he stopped talking to me as well, and since we were not in the same department we didn't have to deal with each other... fast fwd to 8 months after that and I had found another man, and were dating, and he divorced his wife... kinda shocking...

One day this crazy woman I had never seen in my whole life came to me and wanted to fight me in my office :jawdrop: apparently this man, had told her what happened with me and somehow she found out it had been me, and was blaming me for her divorce... ughhh... excuseeeeeeee meeeeee???????

Well, ok... I told him to keep her B%^%^& away from me, or I was going to call the police... he apologized to me, he invited me to have some drinks :jawdrop: I SAID NOOOOOOO... are you crazy????

I didn't want to be with a man that was recently married with a daughter and a crazy ex wife... NO THANKS!!!!

Fast fwd 2 years later, (I had broken up at least 6 months ago with my stupid childish bf) and I had been promoted, he had been promoted too, and one day it happened!!! he was transferred to my department :O ughhh...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I didn't want to leave the company... I was making good money!!! and living the single life!!! well, i opted to be professional with him, and everything... he was acting the same way, ALWAYS nice and professional (and always looking extremely hot, might I add) many women in that place had a crush on him... anyway...

He started being *too nice* sending bouquet of flowers for my bday, and things like that... well, I had been a B!TCH to him the whole entire time, internally I felt bad, but what he had done hurt me a lot!

Then, one day... I get a call that changed my life... my sister called to tell me my father had died... WHAAT? he was a healthy man!!!!!!!!!!!! what happened? nobody really knew... welll... I had a breakdown...

And throughout those days/weeks this man was there for me in a way that really made a difference!!!! he would come to my apartment and make sure I had groceries, and stuff like that (I didn't want to get out of my bed all day) he would try to take me out, and was the ONLY person that supported me sooo much... after a month or so, we were drinking in my apartment and well... it happened... we did it... sorry TMI??? I don't know... but well after that I decided to give him a chance, after all, he had been single for 2 years now!!! :O

We started going out, having fun, and I started to fall in love with him, I met his daughter, and it was ok, I was never a "kid person" and he knew it, but she seemed to be "ok"... oh well... after 2 years of dating we got engaged and then married a year after, so Stepdaughter was 10 when we got married...

Throughout this time BM had a kid from an "unknown" man (boy age 6) and then had another kid (now 4) from another one and then married this person... so she had been Ok, not a big problem...

I have been married with him for 2 years now, SD is 12, and the problem of my life is this girl... her mother didn't want her living with her like 8 months after we got married, because she was so disrespectful and annoying, the mother signed her rights off to DH, because SD was ruining her marriage, and was evil. I thought that this woman was crazy, it’s your DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!! geezzz.... well, ok DH had been paying child support and having her every other weekend after their divorce...

Well... she came to live with us, I thought, well, I will teach this girl good manners, and how to be respectful to others and blah blah blah... after all this time I can say... I have accomplished NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I truly hate this girl... she is EVIL, her mother was right! she needs to be sent back to hell... seriously... :O

I got pregnant, and had a babygirl, since day one, SD12 said she didn't want to have a girl, that "it was ok if it was a boy" but not a girl!!!! ok... well.. guess what you lil' wh@#E!!! it is a girl!!! deal with it!!!

Well... we hired a nanny to take care of BD when she was about 1 1/2 months old, and within a week the nanny said she couldn't deal with this girl (SD12), so she left... we found another nanny and she would always complain about how mean SD12 was... here are some things SD would say/do:

*Why are you giving her milk? just let her be hungry! let her die!
*Why are you changing her diaper? Let that pee burn her butt
*When you go to the bathroom I will kill the baby, and I will blame it on you...

SO this nanny left too, and after being so scared of this 12 year old doing something to my daughter we decided I was going to stay at home and SD was going to go to therapy (for the second time) she did, and the therapist basically said this girl had been very disturbed and had problems due to her mother's abandonment... which doesn't really make sense, because the mother said she was evil and that's why she didn't want anything to do with her...

Well... one day, we were all home, and I had just put BD to sleep (she was 3 months old) and I went to my room to take a nap with DH, well, something woke me up (instinct???), and I went to check on BD, SD had a pillow on her :jawdrop: ... I ran towards her and i pushed her really hard, I saw that BD was breathing then I slapped SD around 20 times all over her face and screaming a bunch of things at her, she was screaming too, DH came running and had to grab me, and was yelling what was going on, when told him, he told SD to go to her room, no TV no nothing for her.... WTF???? that's not enough!!!!! she went to her room, I grabbed BD and put her in our room and told him that she could not stay in my house, and she was a danger for BD, he agreed but didn't know what to do with her... and was crying... :O :O :O we made an appointment with her therapist and we straight up told SD that she was going to go with foster care or something, because we could no longer have her here, she got hysterical!!! saying noooo nooo nooooo :O :O :O :O

she said she was going to change... well guess what? SD stayed in our home... and she seemed to be improving in the therapist's eyes, and DH's and her teachers... but I wasn't buying that...

One day BD started crying and we didn't know what was going on, we took her to the E.R and she had a broken arm :? it was devastating... she was 6 months old and CPS took her away from us, SD said we hit both of them and showed them marks all over her body from god knows what... :O they took both of them(a week ago), and right now we are in the process of getting them back, because there is a lot of evidence that it was SD that hurt BD, but we still have to wait at least 1 weeks, and also, SD will be going to a juvenile program... we don't want her... we really don't... I hate that girl, I really wish she would just DIE!!!

We have therapist’s proof of her irrational, extremely aggressive behavior
We have her bio mom that knows how she is
We have the nannies that got threatened by her
We have other family members that are witnesses of her behavior

Surprisingly, in school she is not aggressive, and she gets decent grades, her problem in school is because she is disrespectful to the point that she verbally abuses other kids, even teachers sometimes.

Sighs… I hate life right now, I have been so depressed…