Affection starved...
Happy belated mom's day to everyone!
Haven't been on in awhile b/c things have actually been going pretty peachy, shocking! But recently I've noticed more and more that my H criticizes me but refuses to take my criticism. He is completely unaffectionate toward me and when I want some damn affection I'm "smothering" him and he pushes me away. He never compliments me though I do him, I always say I love you first now, when he used to always say it first. He rarely wants sex...I'm contemplating having an affair b/c I'm so sexually deprived! Well that's kinda extreme I wouldn't actually have an affair.
So my H just saw me blogging and asked me what it was so I just read it to him, he rolled his eyes said "wow" and walked away.
I used to have pretty high self-esteem, now I feel like I'm fat, ugly, not good enough for him, he doesn't want me anymore, there is something wrong with me, he's getting ready to leave me...but I know he's not having an affair. Just venting, getting some stuff off my chest, kinda feeling like crap and wishing that he would just grab me and kiss me or hug me on his own or even look at me and tell me he loves me...but it's way too much for me to ask.
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BF and I had the exact same problem.....
I stop talking to him for 4 days till he finally relised something was up and asked what wrong well a flood gate open and I cryed,screamed, yelled That i felt unloved and although he may say those words cold comfort if I don't feel it.. Then we discussed what I need from him which is hugs kisses and even sex but for him he feels loved when I cook tea or have his shirts ironed for work or need him to do a man job (open a jar, change a light bulb) so he was feeling unwanted too..... since this discussion we both feel needed wanted and loved by the other cause we are getting what we require to be happy in our relationship. I hope this may help
Love languages again...
Have to know your partners love language! I think every married person should read the book!
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
totally agree ........
just knowing what I needed and how to express it to BF3 was a relationship saver. Recommend the book.......
My DH & I went to a seminar
My DH & I went to a seminar about it as part of our premarital counseling (required by our church) and they explained things about love languages that I would have never even thought of or realized. Its crazy. And 4 years later, I still recognize things in our daily lives that I think back about the love languages an am able to resolve it before it ever becomes an issue. If you don't happen to have the same love language as your husband, there can be so many miscommunications over the most trivial things! So it helps to understand them and evaluate yourself to find out what yours is. It really does help relationships I think.
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
Have you tried talking to
Have you tried talking to him about this...without sounding like you're attacking or blaming him? What does he say about it? Do you have outside interests you can occupy yourself with...maybe play a little hard to get and let him come to you?
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
men are insane
I'm going through this too as of late. FH doesn't hold my hand even. In fact he practically recoils if I go to touch him. I'm not sure what his deal is but I completely lost it on him and we were at war for 2 days a couple of weeks ago. He claims he was tired, etc. I thought it had to do with him getting an email from the BM that made him feel guilty or betraying her precious, precious womb because afterall, the bm is the queen of the universe because she plopped out his wonderful offspring. Anyways, I figured she'd been messing with his brain so I reprogrammed him with some screaming and yelling and threats of leaving. Apparently that fixed his malfunction because he's been fine ever since.
I'm not sure what gets into these guys but I'm done trying to figure it out...I'm going to scream and holler to get my way and if he doesn't like it tough! It works for the bm...
Hugs, LT
LOL!!
Betraying her precious womb!! ~snort~ LOL! I like that.