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Oh money / Where SS eats dinner

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 8:37pm

BF told me this afternoon that he was on his way to BM's town to give SS some money for his field trips tomorrow and Friday. I said OK, I just hope the money actually goes to SS. We haven't been told anything about these field trips except when BM demanded money for them from BF a while back. We still haven't gotten any details about these trips except that SS needs spending money for them.

BF said when he pulled up to BM's parents' house, SS came out of the house with a pork chop in his hand chomping on it (OK it's not my place to tell others how they should run things in their own home...but that just seems a little uncivilized to me...? Anyway, BF asked him if it was already dinner time (it was 4:15 PM, when I looked confused BF explained with "Nana and Pa go to bed really early") and SS said "Yep!" I just find it sad that SS still eats dinner at his grandparents' house every night. I guess I wish that he could enjoy a home cooked meal at the table at his own house cooked by his Mom every now and again.

Comments

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 8:42pm

Its amazing that some moms can't do the simplest things...

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Submitted by KeepsGettingBetter on Wed, 05/06/2009 - 11:42pm

Regarding the money, can BF say to BM that until he sees the paperwork/brochure regarding these field trips he wont be giving any money? I make sure BF always has a receipt or document regarding the money that he pays to BM or skids otherwise who knows weather the amount she has requested is correct or if she is trying to get BF to pay the full amount instead of only half (they both pay 50/50 for any odd expenses).

As for dinner the only thing I can say to that is at least your SS is eating, if he was at BM he probably wouldn't even be fed.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:34am

I know your BM is really messed up but she should at least be able to provide a flyer or some information about these events. And maybe cook a meal for her child once in a while! She is very strange IMO

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:37am

I am so glad that they live right next door or SS would go without so many necessities.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:52am

our BM lied about everything early on and even got the kids to lie to their dad when they were younger so she could get $$....so DH refused to provide $$ for field trips, etc. until he received documentation. Unfortunately skids missed out on alot due to their own negligence and laziness which was backed up by the BM. No paper....no money.... what I CAN tell u is that eventually they "got it" and realized the only way to be a part of these activities was to comply :)...Of course, BM blamed DH for every time they missed an activity, but eventually the kids saw who was REALLY to blame....hang in there and be tough!!

"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 8:48am

I wish he required more proof that the trips were legitimate, but unfortunately I can't control him and when it comes down to either playing it safe and giving the money to his son, or not doing it and SS having no money to spend if the field trips are legit, he opted to play it safe. This way at least SS knows that BF cared enough to drive all the way to his house to give him the money (he gave it to SS himself, BM was nowhere in sight) but he also suprised SS with a chocolate milk when he got there, which is their little father-son thing for car trips. It made SS really happy and I think that's the more important issue here.

And if the trip is not legit, we're out $20. Not really a big deal. I understand the principle of the matter but I think we also need to pick our battles especially since this woman has proven to us time and again that if she feels "scorned" she has absolutely no regard for visitation orders, court orders, police officers, etc. and will do whatever she feels is necessary to inflict hurt on BF (and SS in the process).

I believe that there certainly is a time to "put your foot down" but I also believe that in some instances it would probably produce more harm than good. We're not so concerned with "telling BM like it is" that we would rather open up a huge can of worms than just do the little things necessary to keep the peace.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*