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In New Zealand before you get a parenting order( the rules that govern visitation)

Zimka's picture

Submitted by Zimka on Thu, 04/23/2009 - 11:45pm

You have to attend 6 free sessions of counselling with the other bio parent to see if you can work an agreement out without going to court. Today BM recieved the request for counselling and hit the roof..... Phoning both BF and myself at work and she said by doing this we are putting her 3.5 year old at risk, as she has stated to the court re the court battle between her and that kids BF that she has a great relationship with the other two BF one of which is my partner and that we all have very good, open communication (Yeah right). She wants us to withdraw our request for counselling but I am worried that if we do we won't ever get a equal say in visitation cause currently it is what she says that goes Sad

Comments

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Thu, 04/23/2009 - 11:50pm

Well if its standard practice to have to go through the counseling session in order to get one, how does that make her look bad? Just because you guys want a legal document laying out the parenting plan? I say bull. I wouldn't withdraw it. Not if you're at her mercy!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Last Nerve's picture

Submitted by Last Nerve on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 12:19am

Stand firm, and do NOT back down.
She's going to say and do anything to get you guys to back down. You have every legal right to request those sessions, and it looks the fact that she doesn't want to go means that she knows she's going to lose control of the situation.
The fact that she called your BF's daughter "her" 3.5 year old is prooof positive of it. As much as the BM would like to believe the opposite, the fact of the matter is that a child has a right to be able to love both of its parents, not just her mother (and yes, I am a BM as well as a SM).

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 12:25am

She's talking about BM's other daughter, that she is in a custody battle with that child's father. Sounds like there are 3 kids with 3 different dads, and she's battling it court with the 3.5 yr old's dad & has claimed to the judge to have a great relationship with other 2 kid's dads.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Zimka's picture

Submitted by Zimka on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 12:27am

BM has three children to three different fathers, my partner is BF3 to her 15month old not the 3.5 year old and she refers to all her children as hers!!!!!

Last Nerve's picture

Submitted by Last Nerve on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 12:31am

My answer is still the same though. Do not back down, once you do, she'll expect it everytime for everything. My DH learned that lesson the hard way...

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 04/24/2009 - 1:15am

mates of the out-of-wedlock breeders society.

My SS's BioDad has four out-of-wedlock children by three different mothers. My SS is his oldest.

BioDad spends a lot of his time whining about how he is screwed by the system.

If anything their propensity for out-of-wedlock breeding should be presented very clearly to the Judge/Court. IMHO this is a huge indicator of severely flawed and inept parents.

If I was your BF I would go for full custody to get my kid as far away from the bad influence, complete lack of character and poor parenting of the out-of-wedlock breeder parent.

Just my thoughts of course.