First I want to thank you all. Every time I need to feel better about my situation with Skids and DH and crazy BM I log onto this site. Just reading about other people dealing with the same things as we do makes me feel so much better and gives me some peace.
I also want to thank the person/people who began to speak about BM having Borderline Personality. When DH was married to BM she was diagnosed with Bipolar but was non compliant with therapy/meds which is a big reason their marriage fell apart. Well I work in the mental health field and always thought bipolar wasnt quite right so I started asking around and reading up on BPD and was convinced that was her problem. Then someone suggested the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells". This is a great book! It has help both me and DH to deal with the unexpainable things BM does. Over the last couple years my DH has been convinced that he doesnt have to be a slave to her every whim, and doesnt have to pay her thousands over CS becuase she was threatening to do mean things to the kids. He is no longer held prisoner to her. I bought this book last week and started reading him parts of it everytime we have an "episode" with BM and it just helps thats its not me saying it, it comes from a book. The sad part is she still has a hold on her kids but now we have a better way to explain to them why mom acts the way she does sometimes. Of course just like someone with BPD she does something terrible, like beat her 12yr old son over the head with his math book, breaking the cover, but they next day buys him a new nintendo DS and everything is back to normal and he has forgiven her (which is why we cant convince him to tell a teacher, she has so completely ruined my husband's reputation at the school with false accusations that no one believes him) I can go on and on with stories! But anyway again thank you all, you help me and in turn help my DH and my Skids!